A
male
age
36-40,
*axi_enigma
writes:I was in love with a girl for the last 3 years. It was totally from my side. It was unconditional, unadulterated and pure [typical Taurean me]. We were really good and close friends. Actually we met on net. We were classmates for a short period when we were young but 3 years back I saw her on the net and added her as friend. Then I studied her and fell in love with her. All of my prayers included wishing for her wellbeing and happiness. So on valentines day this year, she askd me if I am going out with anyone. I said no I am not, but I like someone and will ask her out someday. I told her that I don't deserve her at the moment, as she is just too good for me and she tells me if she is privileged enough to know the name of the gal ane I kept avoiding it, but she won't stop and kept on asking again and again. She even told me that she has an intuition that I will get a yes if I ask my girl out right now and then I told her I'm not sure if the girl will be ok with a distance relation. Then she replies giving an example of one of her friends that she is in a distance relation for 6 years and she is going strong. She was so obvious that she liked me too but still I was afraid to confess. She still kept asking about my girl so I told her that it was no one but her, on 17th feb so after this it became good.I was so happy as it became mutual. I was on cloud nine. We started sharing our thoughts and all the lovey dovey things. On 5th March she says something is amiss and this isn't working for her. She tells me that somewhere down the line she was desperate and to top it all she was close to me and she found out that I liked her too. She tells that she is terribly fickle and she loves me right now but doesn't wanna tell it every day. She told tat she was confused and wanted to call it off. She told me that if it has to happen then it will happen any way and if she really loves me then she will come back running to me. Then she tells me that since we were friends we should be good friends again and know each other more. She wants it to happen on its own without any effort.Initially I thought I could be friends with her again but she had already untangled all my thoughts and now I had to filter and manipulate my thoughts. I had to be fake, plastic and dishonest. Even if I was unhappy with the way things were going, I had to show as if Ii was totally ok. I thought I was strong enough but I wasn't. I was so vulnerable. It really did hurt me. My eyes were dry but it felt like they have cried a thousand tears. So after a few days I told her that I have concluded something and want to share it with her and then I told her everything about how different it is for me to be friends with her again and I'm afraid I may turn schizophrenic. So I tell her that I was selfish and I made her fall for me and it maybe my selfish prayers that kept her from being committed. I portrayed myself as a total sorry ass figure and demanded sympathy. I wanted her to be my muse and that was selfish. I told her that she made me smile and she made me cry, and I can't make her cry, and that's the difference, maybe she should wait for someone who can make her cry. I told her that I have encumbered her with my myriad thoughts and I should let her go, because if we continue talking I am sure that you will fall for me again and I want it to happen to you for real without any effort.Maybe the absence can make the heart grow fonder. Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses. I am sorry for loving you so much. I told her that I want her to tell me when it happens for real. Whoever it may be and she said she has no idea what I want to achieve and I just want her to cry. Then I said, ok now you have enough reasons to hate me and it's justified. I said sorry, I thought I was strong enough but I'm not, I'm vulnerable.So finally she said bye and for how long she doesn't know.... I know that I have caused her a lot of pain, but I couldn't think of any alternative. Please help me out. I am really going mad. I have lost my peace.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Astrology is a hobby of mines and although lots of people say on here to forget what sign you are, I think you can tell a heck of a lot from a person's sun sign and how they tick. Go into it in even more depth and they're an open book! I have often known what sign a person is just by being in their company for a while. Taurus and Aquarius huh?
An Aquarius woman has alluring, mysterious charm. She is distant, cool, analytical, intellectual, and seems maddeningly preoccupied. The distance is their fear of getting too close, for it could mean the loss of self and this terrifies her and you would need to take this concern seriously, even though it is something you can't relate to. You as a Taurean find fear of closeness an alien concept; however, developing her identity is a true lifelong quest to an Aquarius hence the reason she can be fickle. I could go on but I won't but this relationship would definitely need to be worked at.
Don't always believe in fate, believe in YOURSELF and making things happen.
Good luck!
~Eve~
A
male
reader, maxi_enigma +, writes (8 March 2009):
maxi_enigma is verified as being by the original poster of the question and yeah really i will be happy to see her happy with someone else.cz i know i dont deserve her as of now.so whatever happened .so its fair enough.we all have different opinions, and it isnt necessary that we have to agree to others.sometimes u just have to believe and have faith in something n let it go for the greater good.
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A
male
reader, maxi_enigma +, writes (8 March 2009):
maxi_enigma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks eve....
and about the asking questions and laughing together.we hav been through that(close friends fr 3 years).she is confused abt herself right now..thats why it became mutual.and right now i think may be giving her some space is the way to make it happen.she has confessed abt her fickle nature.and it is very much justified for an aquarian.the way i see it,its fair enough.and about the mind games,etc.. its obvious cz its a shame if a girl asks out a guy(no offense ).. she can only give u hints..and on net hw cud she be sure.. she has her fears too..so let it be the way it is..
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2009):
Long distance relationships can be very difficult. You can say anything to the other person you meet on the net but it goes nowhere unless you both meet up and see how that person acts, their mannerisms, how they hold themselves, how they look, see if the chemistry is there between you. People change (mentally and physically) with time. How long has it been since you last seen her?Both of you have been playing head games and have not been honest with one another, her toying with you and asking who this girl is (knowing fine that it's her) and then you giving her a spiel about what an ass you are and that she doesn't deserve you. DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN! Women like strong, assertive guys. You have been throwing her the sympathy card. "You will meet someone one day and tell me when it happens, I just want you to be happy." Do you REALLY want her to meet someone else and be with them and not you when you feel for her as you do? Come on... BE YOURSELF! Laugh together, ask questions and get to know each other better THEN choose a time to meet up. Don't leave things to just happen... MAKE them happen!~Eve~
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A
male
reader, maxi_enigma +, writes (8 March 2009):
maxi_enigma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTrust me i know myself better than anyone else.i have analyzed myself again and again.and i conclude that i am too much like the likes of people having Taurus as their zodiac.and that makes a die hard romantic.so the lovey dovey thing is justified.a palmist told me once that i have a very strong love line,which cements the fact further.talks apart, i should be the best judge about myself.and yeah may be i am in love with the idea of being in love.and i am giving it time.i am going to keep myself very very occupied, and leave it all to fate.then someone defined destiny as making a bridge towards your love.but i am not going to second to that.i have made certain plans too cz i am sure that i wont be able to love anyone else so much, so i m not going to ruin it fr sm1 else.i am going to make lots of money.will travel around the world.meet new people,see new culture.will do tramping.may be adopt a baby girl :) and name her....and i will be happy,content,complete......i am going, but i am not gone.
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A
male
reader, maxi_enigma +, writes (8 March 2009):
maxi_enigma is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know that she still loves me.and i know that if we continue to be in touch, she will fall for me again, which i dont want.i want it to happen to her without any effort.i mean it should happen for real with her.she also blamed herself that it was all her fault abt making me jump into this relation and she was sorry.and i told her that its not her fault,and i totally made an ass of myself n ruined my image so tat she can hate me n move on.seriously in way i think i made her fall for me.and i hav already told her that i just want her to see happy, and i can see her happy with someone else but it would be very difficult for me to see her in pain with me.so in a way if she finds someone new n is happy with him, it will make me happy too.and if she comes back to me then she is mine forever.
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Head games and power trips. You deserve better. Besides, how can you be friends (or more) with someone you can't relax and be yourself with? She's right, if it is meant to be it will be, but that doesn't mean you should sit around and wait for it. Live your life, see who you want to see, and let her have some time to grow up. She's not ready for ANY relationship, let alone one with a nice guy like you.
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