A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am not writing a question but posting some thoughts that I have had on my mind in regards to all of the positive responses that readers post on this website, especially in regards to people being depressed, single, virgins well into their adult lives. Many of you don't realize that some of us are destined to live AND die alone. I am getting sick and tired of so many people using the "there is someone for everyone" response to people's anguish of being single. I am a single, depressed virgin and I want to punch everyone in the face who says this absolutely nauseating statement to me. Many positive individuals don't realize the faultly logic behind this statement. Let's say that there is AT LEAST one person that is right for another and matches together on all levels. That would mean that the odds of finding that person would be roughly 1 in 3 billion considering the female population of the world. 1 in 3 billion!!! The odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 576,000, and the odds of winning the Powerball jackpot are over 1 in 195 million. So I have billions of more chances of being hit by lightning or winning one of the largest lottery jackpots in the country than I do finding someone who wants to be with me. I wish all of the positive people would realize this!!!Furthermore, I would like to say a few things before many of you post comments deeming me too negative and narrow minded, thus being the reasons that I have remained single and miserable to this point. I too once held some hope that I would find someone, but I was too young, naive, and stupid to know anything at that point. Getting through high school while being single was not a big deal, as many people would agree. Yet, while attending college I noticed the drastic plight of my situation. I lived the typical college life. I kept in relatively good shape, remainded optimistic, maintained a great sense of humor, and was a very good student. I socialized as much as any other student and went to parties and gatherings to get myself known and seen by others on campus, yet no women seemed to want anything to do with me. I figured that after college things would change and I would finally have a career and EVEN more to offer to a woman. This was not the case. I have now had a good paying, stable career going on five years now, a new car, and more responsibilities in which I always attend to immediately like any other responsible adult. I continued to be social and nice to women, but still had no luck. In fact, I have found that I actually repulse women who I haven't even met. On numerous occasions I have noticed women glaring at me in disgust as I pass by them in the grocery store, while walking down the street, or in any other public location, even though I smile and try to be cordial. Over the past year I have become more negative and secluded now that I have finally come to grips with my reality. I am now starting to accept the fact that I will remain alone and a virgin forever, and trying to be comfortable with this situation. Yet, everytime I almost achieve full acceptance someone tells me that "there is someone for every one" or some asinine commercial for some lame dating website comes on TV and I become depressed.Many of you need to get this through your heads, that some of us are meant to be single forever and would like to suffer in silence. Stop trying to give us false hope and leave us alone. Stop bragging about your blissful lives with your significant others and rubbing it in our faces. Those of use that are destined to be single just want to be left alone. I'm just hoping that the others that are in my situation come to some realization of their futures and can finally accept being lonley virgins for the rest of their lives and reach true enlightenment. They can't do this, however, when people like the readers of this site continue to fill their heads with false hope. So please, overly optimistic dearcupid.org readers, leave the aging, single, virgins alone. I for one, am sick of your optimism, and think that the odds of being struck by lightning is starting to look quite a bit more attractive and possible than the odds of finding a woman to accept me for who I am.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Just a thought though - if the single, lonely virgins want to suffer in silence, they would not be posting on an advice column complaining about being single, lonely virgins. When a person comes out and posts on DC stating he is what he is, it seems to imply he needs positive re-inforcement.
Look, I don't generally answer those questions, but if you ask me, they're actually no harm in being single. It's possible to be a perfectly contented single person. Sex is not food or water so it's possible to live without it.
To those who realize this, being single at 25,35 or 45 for that matter is not a matter of concern. But to those who do not feel that way, who feel that they do need someone in their life to be happy, do you honestly think "Bugger off, you're going to die a virgin" is the right response?
I've actually had the pleasure of popping a few male cherries (metaphorically speaking) orally in most cases. There is a lot of negativity, diffidence bordering on fear in these guys. It's almost instinctive to assume that I'm joking with them or playing a mean trick - I don't know if that attitude gets inbred over time. But it hurts, and furthermore, it's a huge turn-off. I'm happier to be with a man who is comfortable with himself and his sexuality, even if that means he's a virgin who is content to be tht way rather than thinking it's a curse inflicted on him by the world.
A
female
reader, star2010 +, writes (30 August 2010):
i am a single 23yr old virgin & proud!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): look he is right in everything he says. women will not anything to do with him because he is a virgin. once they find out your a virgin they can't run away fast engouh i should know i've experience it lots times. once you pass a certain age and have not lost your virgin. women make fun of you. i wish people on here don't give men false hopes. there one thing i hate women saying there someone out there for everyone. what they really mean as long it not me that what they mean. i should know a lot women have said that to me.it does not matter how nice and polite your are if your not very attractive you won't get anywhere. because women won't want to look stupid in front of there mates.him and me will never lose our virgin because women won't come near us because were not perfect. i'm beginning to hate evey woman i see.
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A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Well... I have accepted certain facts about my future ... like the possibilities of winding up alone my whole life ... blah... I know it is very depressing but seriously the only thing that keeps us going is a hope that some day we will break the ice ... i agree with watsername23 there are ppl with good personalities who are alone also just don't give up and don't let it get to your head :(
I do feel that you need to do something about your self esteem you sound angry ... instead why not use that energy to love yourself a little eat healthy and exercise. I won't promise any miracles but you will feel better about yourself and besides watsername23 seems to be interested in you xD
maybe she will change your thought on this topic :P
and yes at times I get angry with god haha .... as funny as it may sound it happens and I ask only 1 question "why" never got the answer to it but hoping that some day I won't need to ask something like that :). Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Asherah  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Why not try online dating. You're obviously not happy being a "single, depressed virgin." So do something about it. Material things aren't everything. Maybe you should work on your personality. I don't believe in soulmates - I believe our personalities are compatible with a good chunk of the people out there. So get active.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I have a few questions for you, and I beg you to please answer them.
You've listed the material things you have accomplished, but they don't really let me know who you are as a person.
Who are you? What do you like? What makes you smile?
Why do you "think" women glare at you with disgust? Do you have deformed features or is it your interpretation of their look.
I know from experience that when I have acne, everyone is looking at it, when in reality, no one cares about my acne, they have their own problems.
Sex is very important, even if it is done with someone for hire. Why not lose the virginity? Virginity in our generation is not considered a quality that makes you special, it puts a burden on young adults, so why not get rid of it?
And yes, you are very negative in your thinking, unfortunately negativity only attracts more negativity. People who are positive cannot be around you because you will bring them down, and why would they choose to be brought down?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): To me I think you want to be with a woman. I as well posted a question on here about being alone forever for I have never had a Bf, or the very least a true friend. I can see where you're coming from. If a woman were to be interested in you, do you think you would change your thoughts about this topic? There are people who have great personalities and dont have a partner. Youre only going to be single if you keep thinking this way. Women dont like men that are so negative about life. There are tons of lonely people out there. And you're right about everybody not having just ONE person out there for them. You're also right about the dating sites. I dont believe that love exists for two people that are "meant to br together" beacuse there arent people out there that are made for each other, you learn to become that person to your partner.
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