A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi :) Here's the thing, I have fallen in love with me best friend (who's a guy), and i don't know if he feels the same. He told me that he likes me, and said that we should think about being together. We started spending more time together, still as friends, then one night at his house we made out, and i completely fell in love with him. Now i don't know what to do because when i bring it up it seems like he doesn't want to talk about it. I don't understand what he wants, and its getting me down, please help?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 July 2011):
Hi there. It does seem that he's interested, otherwise he wouldn't have said about being together. So that's a hint at it, at least.
Don't bring it up about making out the other night, just leave it - unless he talks about it.
He probably doesn't seem to want to talk about it, because he's confused about where it leaves you and him now - because of it. He might be feeling a bit awkward.
But that's ok, no problem really.
Just continue to be friends and talk to each other, but don't let the sex happen again anymore, until you both know for sure how you want to proceed with your friendship.
It somehow seems like he might want it to be more than just friends, otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place - about you and him should think about being together.
It seems to point in that direction.
However, sooner or later - preferably sooner - you are going to have to talk about it. Otherwise, you don't know where you stand with each other.
So for that reason, it needs to be clarified.
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Try talking to him again. If he's your best friend, then he'll be able to listen and open up to you. If he doesn't want to talk about it the first time, then try another. If he doesn't talk about it then, then I think you should move on and stay friends. Has he always been secretive about his feelings or is it just this? Do you think that he might not want to talk because he's afraid that either one of you is going to get hurt? Tell him how you feel and don't hold back. You will know his feelings once you talk to him. Hope I helped. I'm not sure I did, but I hope so.
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A
male
reader, MugenTj +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Hi!
Give your best friend some time to think, reflect and adjust to the change. In the mean time, be ready to accept that he only sees you as a friend.
If I was you, and when I find this person worthy of my love, I will continue to demonstrate that whenever possible, to the extend that this person can tolerate (because it can become annoyance), not with the hope that this person will one day change, but simply because you can do those things for him.
In fact, my current relationship started out similar to yours. I fell in love; she didn't know what to do. I took that exact attitude and arrive at this point.
It's really magical to date someone you already know for years, but don't make that the only option.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Are you actually bringing it up to him, though? Are you saying explicitly, "Look, I like you, I'm attracted to you. We made out the other night and I want to talk about this and about us." Or have you only hinted at the subject? You know oftentimes our hints are not as obvious as we think they are. I have a suspicion you are just merely hinting at this romantic connection between you two and your friend is afraid to be the first one to come right out and say something. Starting a new relationship can be VERY scary.
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