A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel ashamed of myself after masturbating over webcam to my friend, I found it a buzz at first, but now I feel sick of myself and hate myself for doing it. Is it normal to feel this way? Is it even normal to do it in your mid teens? I can't look him in the eye anymore, and feel disgusted with myself for doing it, I hate myself and I don't know what to do, has anybody got any help? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 you are normal.
i heard about boys when I was growing up having "circle jerks" where they all sat around in a circle to jerk off...
i didn't get it but ok whatever floats your boat.
experimentation when you are teen is normal...even the AMISH recognize this in their teens and give them a chance to "run around" and figure out how to be an adult...
live and learn
don't punish yourself
if your friend asks you to do it again say no that you no longer will do that on cam...
no big deal..
personal choice and all.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 April 2012):
It’s easy to say, but beating yourself up about it now is pointless.
Everyone has regrets in life, but the best thing is to treat our mistakes as opportunities to learn about ourselves. Maybe next time you’ll be a little more cautious, and take a bit more time to think about the implications of something that might initially seem an exciting prospect, and if you do then this experience has taught you something.
The point to remember is that you have not hurt anyone and you’ve got a whole lifetime to put the lessons learned from this to good use in the decisions you’ll make in the future. If you really feel that you need to put the issue behind you and that you can’t without doing something about it, I suggest a quiet word with this friend, to explain that you regret what happened and wish to put it behind you. In time you will come to terms with what’s happened, and learn to live comfortably with this regret. What’s done is done, it’s the future and the present that you can affect now, making a real effort (however hard it is) to let your past mistakes inspire you to act differently in the future, will help you lessen your sense of disgust and shame. You might never be happy with what you did, but you will in time get to a point where you are not consumed by what you did and be able to view it as a past mistake, not something that says anything about the kind of person you are today. And that will make it easier to live with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2012): Hi. How you feel is normal. You arent the first person to make a howling mistake in the heat of the moment! I`m three times your age and even now have the odd moments I`d like to forget! That`s life I`m afraid.
I know a 19 year old straight guy who got very drunk at a party and decided having anal sex was a good idea. So that`s what he and another guy did! In front of other party goers who happened to record it all on their phones! Can you imagine how he felt the next day and for months afterwards? He was beside himself with mortification and became very depressed. I am telling you that to help you put your indiscretion into perspective. Trust me it might feel like the end of the world but worse things could have happened.
You could put how you feel under a rock, bring it out every now and then, explore how it makes you feel, flood yourself with angst and shame. And let it affect you in goodness knows how many negative ways for years! OR. You could man up. Ask this guy for a word in private. Engage in eye contact. Ask if he was recording anything first and foremost. Get that concern out of the way. Then explain you feel embarrassed about the whole thing, you were caught up in the moment and it was what you were doing to yourself that was the turn on...not him! He will probably be as relieved to hear that as you will be to get this off your chest. You can both agree it was a mistake and one you dont want to discuss with anyone else...ever. Then look him in the eye, shake hands and walk away feeling a whole bunch better.
It is your call. Just dont beat yourself up about it. We ALL do daft things sometimes. Making it right afterwards is what counts and helps us to move on. So make it right and then you can start to work at moving on properly. Chin up x
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Well, if he's gay, he probably enjoyed it.
Honestly though, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it again. I agree with C. Grant...this is a learning experience for you.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Masturbation is an intensely personal thing. It's not usually something you share with someone else -- to do so is an act of incredible trust. Hopefully your friend is worthy of that trust.
Don't feel bad that you masturbated, because that's just something everyone does. But if you think doing it over a webcam was a bad idea, well, don't do that again. That you feel bad about it says it's a learning experience, and one you don't care to repeat.
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment".
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A
male
reader, Steelhawk65 +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Has he said anything to you?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 April 2012):
 Masturbation is normal, whatever your sexual orientation.
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