A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm pregnant, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, he wants me to get rid of it, but I'm against abortion, and have even protested against it, it will go against everything I've stood for, but I am only 17. Should I give up what I stand for and abort the unborn child, or keep it with the risk of my boyfriend being unhappy.
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): "risk of my boyfriend being unhappy"....
Babes, it's your life, it's your body and the baby is inside of you. That's what you need to concentrate on, not on whether a man is happy or not. It's you that will have the operation, it's you that will have to give birth. Start thinking of yourself as a single woman who is having a baby and base your decision on that. If he stays or if he goes is his choice, but you need to choose wisely for yourself. Keeping a baby or getting rid of a baby, both choices bring hurt.
A
female
reader, kody08  +, writes (7 November 2008):
I know that all people's beliefs are different but I would never abort an unborn child, even if you and your bf r not ready to have a baby of your own there a many women out there that would be greatful for your child because of physical problem causing them to not be able to concieve so just think babies are blessings no matter the circumstances, I also got pregnant at 17 and am expecting him in 2 weeks, I never thought that this would happen but it has and I am so excited, trust me, in no way shape or form is your life over just tyaking a dramatic turn.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): If you are against it then you should stand up for what you believe in. Have the baby and if you can't or don't want to look after it put it up for adoption as there are loads of people out there looking for a child to adopt if they can't have children of their own.
...............................
A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (27 October 2008):
 when word got out that i was putting a baby up for adoption tons of people asked to b allowed to adopt it. theres tons of families just begging for a baby to adopt!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): just a quick note about adoption... there's tons of families just begging to adopt babies. When word got out I was putting a baby up for adoption tons of people asked if they could adopt my baby!
...............................
A
female
reader, annalittleangel +, writes (27 October 2008):
Hi,
Firstly it took two to make this baby so he should be supporting you and what you believe in he has to relaise it wasnt just you that made this baby he needs to start growing up and be like a dad or if he isnt happy with it then he can leave but in my opinion i wouldnt abort the baby as i am to against it. You do what you feel right for you and the baby and just keep your friends and family around you and find someone better that thinks of you and what you want aswell. Also as anouther person has stated that abortion isnt always the best option because there is always alot of trauma ad upset.
...............................
A
female
reader, sophiexXxX +, writes (27 October 2008):
 don't give up your believes if your boyfriend is telling you to get rid of this baby he's not worth keeping I had my baby girl when I was 16 and I also was thinking what your thinking now but it's not right it is murder I suggest you tell your boyfriend that your keeping it and either he'll help or he can fuck off but to have the baby at the end of it all you will realise it was worth it. I would like to hear back from you see how you are doing please do reply if you need any advice
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): It is a difficult decision considering your own age. Nobody can tell you what to do, it is your choice. Think very carefully. Do not terminate this pregnancy to please your boyfriend. That will be the wrong reason for doing so. To abort to keep him happy and in two months he might be gone anyway. What ever you do, don't do it to please this guy.
In closing, think about these words by Immaneul Kant:
"Two things fill my mind with ever new and increasing wonder and awe: the starry heavens above me and the moral law within me".
...............................
A
female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (27 October 2008):
 I understand how you're feeling, i was pregnant at 17 also. from my screen name you can probably guess that I kept the baby and named him samuel :)
first of all why would your boyfriend want you to kill your baby? maybe i'm wrong but it sounds like he's thinking of himself because even if he doesn't want to raise it there is still adoption.
if you protested abortion then you'd be a hypocrite to actually get one, don't let him pressure you into it. obviously you know what the right choice is.
I agree with one of the other comments, about the lady's sister getting an abortion and regretting it 20 yrs later.
Trust me if you do that you WILL regret it. I regret even thinking about getting an abortion for a second.
Please don't be a murderer because you want to make your boyfriend happy.
Your baby needs you to protect him/her, not kill him/her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Danielle +, writes (27 October 2008):
 im against an anbortion i have protested my friend was i the same prodicument shes 16 and she got pregnant and her family wanted her to get rid of it and she considered it she finally got to the clinic and she couldnt go through with it
she cud never give up a child that has already produced in her stomach she is now due in a month her family has had to deal with it
if your boy friend cant exsept this and he cant support you then you need someone who will he is being selfish telling you to abort the baby and not supporting his girl friend who is carrying the baby i say scew him
GOOD LUK darlin my heart will be with ya
i know wat my friend felt with her baby let us no wat happens please thank u hope this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, Mummy to be +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Hi hon, i think if you are against abortion you would be out of your mind to have one. Especially if the only reason you would have one is to make your boyfriend happy. First of all your boyfriend helped you get in this position and is being very selfish in not standing by your decision.
I don't believe in abortion myself and am currently 6 months pregnant, when i got pregnant my ex left me and i had a choice of being alone with a baby or get it aborted. I am so happy that i never even considered abortion and i have to strongly disagree with harshbutfair that you're going to struggle being alone with a crying baby. It may not be the ideal situation but you're creating life, your baby deserves a chance in this world.
Just please note that there will be difficult times but it will be worth it and i know two people that have had an abortion and they both regret it enormously and sometimes cry when we talk about it. The one thing that always got me was the fact that if you got your baby aborted and then for some reason you were unable to have children how would you feel. I wish you the very best and hope you make the right decision for you, not your boyfriend.
Love mummy to be xx
...............................
A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (27 October 2008):
 This world doesn't need another unwanted child or another young mother struggling by on benefits.Let me give you a reality check. MOST GUYS will NOT date a young girl who has a baby. People may hate that, but it's true. So get used to long, dark nights alone with a crying baby to take care of.If you don't want the baby, it is your right to choose an abortion (ironic given that you've protested to take that right away from others).Think long and hard.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): hi
i know what you're going through i was in the same situation and same age when i found out i was pregnant my boyfriend at the time too told me to get rid of it today i am a mother to a healthy 5 year old daughter and i love her. don't do what goes against all you stand for just to please him. that child is a gift from god no matter what he says, if you have supportive parents then i don't see why you can't keep your baby. if you love this child inside of you why get rid of it. you can still finish up school and you don't need him cause if he loved you he wouldn't suggest something so barbaric. please don't do something that would affect you for the rest of your life in a negitive way who says he'll stick with you if you get rid of it. please speak to your parents i know it's hard.
kind regards, Meagan i hope everything goes well
...............................
A
male
reader, Kawika +, writes (27 October 2008):
 My sister had an abortion over 20 years ago, and till this day it still draws tears to her eyes. Sometimes I can see her in a daze just thinking about it. The sadness and disappointment in her face just says it all. It is as if she is saying "What have I done?" I commend you on your values. If I had to decide on the happiness of your boyfriend (which you may never know if he will be with you forever) versus having your baby...then I would choose the baby. The baby needs you...he or she is counting on you to do what is right. Don't sacrifice your baby just so you can please someone else...a good mother would never do that. If your boyfriend really cares for you he would respect that. If he doesn't then he isn't good enough for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): If the cost of keeping this guy is the death of a child then he obviously doesn't love you very much.
There is also the fact that he wants you to violate a part of yourself. If he gets his way this time with a issue that you believe is so important, what will keep him from continuing to make demands of you?
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 October 2008):
If you are against abortion then do not get one.
You will regret doing it forever if you go thought with it for some boy.
Are there any other alternatives like adoption that you would consider?
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, fabian_rap_more  +, writes (27 October 2008):
Its your choice. Its your baby. Your boyfriend may not be there forever. Try to understand that.
So basically just follow your heart or talk to your parents and see what they think
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Your boyfriend I presume had some part in the making of this baby, and now he thinks that this baby should just be aborted? I realise that you are still very young with your life ahead of you, but have you considered giving up the baby for adoption? There is always the risk that even after aborting the baby that your boyfriend and you will part ways. Abortion is not always the answer because there is emotional trauma involved.
...............................
|
