A
female
age
51-59,
*aragh
writes:Hi,I am a 37 year old married woman with a good job and an outgoing personality. I enjoy being with people but get so anxious and nervous about going out and meeting them, that I whip myself into a nervous frenzy and usually try to cancel things as I get an overwhelming feeling that I need to stay in. I have always gotten nervous about social situations but its getting worse overtime. Lately I keep getting flashbacks of every negative situation throughout my entire life and go through guilty feelings and sadness from my childhood. I constantly feel insecure all of the time and have isolated myself from good friends as I feel so worthless. I cant seem to allow myself to trust people or let them into my life - I am almost scared of the intimacy. Sometimes I feel so anxious and miserably unhappy, that I would feel relieved to be gone from this world. But then I snap out of this feeling and feel happy again. I look at my life and see so many great opportunities but then cant get the motivation to do anything. My job is quite high profile in sales. This takes up all of my social energy as the job is about selling, presenting, socializing with people and it kills me to push myself out the door in the morning but I do. Once home all I want to do is hide behind closed doors and be alone. I have a loving husband who has been through alot with me over the last 13 years. We have had bad times but have recovered from this. Yet I also have flashbacks of all the bad things in our relationship and cant properly recall the good. We have tried to have kids but I have issues so we would need to go and have private medical assistance to see if I can concieve and this scares the help out of me.Am I the only one out there that have 10,000 thoughts running around in my head all at once? I have so much in my head that even when I write down all the things I need to address, another punch of thoughts upload themselves in to replace that last lot. Its never ending. I even feel panicked writing this and am so high on nervous tention that I think I am going to explode. I have scheduled an appointment with a Therapist this week to see if she can help me make sense of my world. But please could you give me an insight into what you think is wrong and how can I fix it? I am so fragile right now, I actually feel dizzy with the tention. Thank youLaragh
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conceive, insecure, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (14 May 2009):
 my friend whi is bipolar was put on antipsychotics and he lost the ability to get out of bed so stopped taking them
now he runs two nightclubs (for bangor uni) while doing a degree and has a lovely (but unstable) girlfriend and a sucessfull life full of challenges for his powerfull brain.
you are a sucess and as the response below said dont lose your drive, bipolar exists because it is very good at reproduction and becoming sucessful. i read someqwhere that while depression and schizophrenia often lead to falling into societies lower echelons bipolar can send you into societies higer social groups (because it is so powerfull- winehouse, britney, lohan, stephen fry, spike milligan, russel brand the list is endless-yes i am aware that these are just entertainers but yehar)
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Very true the last answer..
as for the professionals helping i have taken their advice with a pinch of salt as their main preoccupation is putting bipolar people on antipsychotics so they lose their drive,
They did this to me, I didnt need that medication..Understanding and listening is most important and as the other poster said rest take time of work..LOVE TO U HUNNY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, mikefromms  +, writes (12 May 2009):
The Therapist is a good idea. You are suffering from some pretty bad anxiety. It is common. The stresses of life are too much on you and your world is caving in on you. Don't have a child if you really aren't ready. Get the help. You'll feel better soon. There are some great medications.
Just a suggestion.
Mikefromms
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (12 May 2009):
as for the professionals helping i have taken their advice with a pinch of salt as their main preoccupation is putting bipolar people on antipsychotics so they lose their drive, personality and sexually charged charisma, then fail to reproduce as antipsychotic dribble on your lip and tarditive dyskinesia is enough to make anyone with sense go euuuw!
once we dont reproduce then a second gen of nutters cannot cost the nhs money. this is the idea behind the "chemical cosh" of the seventies.
take everything with a pinch of salt but dont ignore their advice just remebr that you are free until your bcome a danger to yourslef or others and thoughts are not a problem but actions are. so be wise. you are a success in life due to your insight and wisdom so dont ignore it now and place your faith in those who have proven themselves before
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (12 May 2009):
i have bipolar and am going through an episode at the moment
depression does not alternate from anxious to joy to despair to rage. you can be in a negative mood up swing-like a bad manic trip. i have friends who have behaved like this and have experienced this state myself. its crap. you may benefit from a very small dose of very weak ssri like citalopram although i found this encouraged me to drink which was my undoing. nowadays i take a tiny -and steady over the last year dose of tramadol- in the morning only and it has worked wonders but that may only be for me. either way you need to book a holiday off work (it did wonders for me two weeks ago) as the pressure of giving your all, all day long can only drain you of what positivity you have and clearly you need to rest and recuperate before you experience a break from reality known as psychosis or a breakdown. i regularly get urges of suicide but the often turn into waves of uncontrollable laughter and rage, and i do not get worn out at all.
i've been there and seen the signs. frankly at the moment i feel god isn't fit to lick my golden glorious boots but i know i need to keep it on the downlow for the sake of my own position in society.
rest yourself please-be good to you as the world will be there tomorro and the next
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (12 May 2009):
Hi Hunny
It sounds that there alot of issues that you havent had closure with love, This can cause depression and social phobia and it certainly sounds like you are going through a tough time..Ive had a simiular thing I had panic attacks when I went out and just wanted to go. But inside I new this was fixable I new if I worked at it and got help then my attacks would slowly get better. And they have...At times like this you need to talk to someone who knows how you feel, As I read your post I could understand completely...Its good you are going for help..If you need to talk love message me Im only to happy to help as I no how horrible this is..You take care of you sweetheart WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): I can only guess what the problem is and I think you've done the right thing seeking help from a (hopefully) professional therapist.
I've met people with bi-polar disorder in the past, they're blissfully happy one day and in the depths of despair the next, and what you're experiencing sounds something like that. As for how to fix it, I think you're best leaving that to the professionals. I can only take a stab in the dark which might be totally the wrong answer and possibly make things even worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): hello laragh,
I can empathise with what you are saying because I have anxiety issues; i have been diagnosed with panic disorder, and sometimes it can be debilitating. Let me reassure you that you are not losing your mind at all! Many many people have these feelings, but not everyone is brave enough to face them and try to make changes.
You obviously want to make changes and get better because you have made an appointment to see a therapist. I think it would be advisable for you to see a clinical psychologist; they are not just counsellors but mental health professionals who will help you work through your issues in a structured way. You can make contact with a clinical psychologist through your GP, and I would advise you making an appointment with your GP as soon as possible to talk through how you feel; ask if you can make a double appointment if possible. GPs see these symptoms often, so they will not think you are losing your mind. They may suggest you consider taking some anti-anxiety medication which will help you to stop the constant tension while you focus on sorting out your problems.
Things you can do for yourself include getting plenty of exercise and fresh air and eating a healthy diet with lots of fruit and vegetables. You say you have a loving husband - you need to settle down with him and explain that you have something you need to talk about, and tell him what you have so clearly put into words on this forum. He will no doubt want to help you, because he loves you, as you said. From personal experience I know that confiding in my partner helps me a great deal - sometimes just vocalising my fears to him and having a cuddle makes me feel better again.
I do hope you are able to sort these problems out - your first priority should be making a GP appointment and your GP will refer you on to someone who can help you further.
Good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (12 May 2009):
 I went through a bad patch were i couldnt meet new people, i would blush sooo bad that it made everyone else feel like i was a freak...thats what i was thinking but it was all in my head....the people im sure you arrange to meet are your friends or good people who wouldnt judge you on being nervous etc, talk to them explain how your feelings sometimes just talking about it and telling people how you get and why you cancel plans or change them last min!
I just got to a point were i thought if i dont get over this i will never live...and life is to short....its great your seeing a Therapist that should help, but try and focus on other things positive things about yourself, start going out with your husband try in small groups and learn to be able to socilise with bigger groups, take baby steps but you will get there if you think positive and set your mind to it!
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