A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:This is driving me crazy! My bf broke up with ME about 1 month ago. One of his mates has made this break up like hell for me...The friend has been constantly messaging me and passing along things that my ex supposedly says. And he tells my ex anything I say.Anyway the friend was so quickly to inform me that my ex apparantly has a new gf. And he couldnt wait to tell me that they slept together. And he also couldnt help but tell me how wondeful she is, there whole group of friends love her to death, shes perfect apparantly. She is everything im not. she gave him sex, is into partying all night long every night and geting smashed and is loved by all there friends! all things which i never had or got. my ex and his new gf apparantly also spend ALOT of time together, something which my ex bf never wanted to do with me...I dont understand why he is going out of his way to tell me this? and bring her up in every convo we have??? it hurts like hell. i pretend it doesnt...but it does. i just dont understand why the friend is doing this to me? is he intending to hurt me? is it possible my ex is setting him up? i dont understand why either of them would want to hurt me or make me jealous because i wasnt the one who ended it...he did. not me. so its not as if i hurt him. I wonder if the friend is making this up too! because i have seen my ex a few times (but he never saw me) out clubbing and he wasnt with any girl and he told me he never goes clubbing when he has a gf. what are you thoughts? please dont tell me to stop caring, because i need answers for closure so i can move on.
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broke up, clubbing, jealous, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Need closure? Life isn't easy. Things happen without explanation. Breakups, they suck and hurt alot. But you need to realize that this is none of your fault like you said. He broke up with you and it's going to hurt, for a while. Maybe a long while. You got to move on. Don't listen to anything he says about you. You know you're a good person and doing things you don't want to do (or he wanted you to do) doesn't make you any less of a person. It takes a while to get over a person because you don't understand why it happened in the first place, but don't let that stop you. Get yourself some new friends cuz obviously these guys aren't the greatest from what I read. Find yourself a new guy that will treat you with respect. The last two girls I was with (separate times) really broke my heart, but I realized that you need to cut off ties and get back yourself, get involved in sports or make new friends or get a hobby anything to get your mind off of him/her. There will be lots of break up and heart breaks, but things usually work out in the end. Take care of yourself. And remember none of this was your fault.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the great advice guys!
A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):-
I never thought about the friend likeing me and maybe thats why hes tryign to make me hate my ex. That could be what hes doing! Because before i was going out with my ex (i met my ex thru the mutal "friend") the friend liked me alot but i didnt like him like that, i sensed something bad about him (which is coming out now) and so anyway he gave up on me and tried to get me to go out with his friend who is now my ex.
Growing- if i tell him not to tell me the info dont you think that will make it seem obvious that im jealous and cant handle the info though? i dont want them to see that.
A Cappella-
yeah i realise now the friend isnt realy my friend. and i dont think he is my ex's friend either. because the whole time we were going out, the friend kept telling me bad stuff about my ex bf, trying to turn me off him, he would say things like 'he sleps around you know and is an alcoholic and bla bla'...yet my ex bf claims he is his best friend. i told my ex what his 'best friend' said but hes still remaining friends with him...heh.
anyway i will do what you guys said, cut off contact with the friend. thanks :)
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A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 this mate of your ex is NOT your mate. He has a cruel streak, and seems to enjoy picking off scabs. You need to cut him off cold turkey so that you can heal.
Don't worry about your ex. You can still feel whatever you feel. But for a while you need some distance. DO NOT give in to the "mate" -- block his phone number. Walk away from him if he approaches you. Don't respond in any way. Again, he is NOT YOUR FRIEND. And whether he is actually a friend to your ex is open to debate, in my opinion.
Get involved with a different circle of friends. Join a club, sport, choir, class ... anything to keep busy. Bonus points if it's with other people. You'll eventually get over this guy and whatever his mate says will be meaningless. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 when his frd again pass on the information then tell him that you are just not interested.let him know that you don't want to hear about your ex so he should keep this thing in mind while having conversation.
It won't do any harm and then you can see,if he is intersted in you and want you to hate yr ex ,cos if thats the case then in coming future he will pop up the question and anyways gals are smart enuff to sense such fishy things.
If your bf dumped you then just move on.thinking about him would not do any good,he is having a ball with a new hot chick so you too discover your likes and just work to have fun in present and peace in future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): You poor thing. The ex is probably just trying to make you jealous. Or, maybe the friend wants to get with you, so is trying to make you hate the ex. Either way......quit talking to that friend. He is just hurting you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust another thing to add...everytime his friend talks to me, i start shaking so badly and feel like fainting and vomiting....i wish i could stop this.
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