A
female
age
41-50,
*ove bite
writes:i am a lady aged 25 i had an abortion in feb 2006 against my bfs will.he really wanted the kid but i felt we were not ready for ababy at that time.he told me that we forget about the past n later that year i got pregnant again but gave birth to a boy who is nine months old.but now nowadays i feel that he doesnt love me coz we stay up to a month without making love could the abortion be the cause
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Yes, I am a man and i have similar situation. I will never forget. it is a scar.Also, don't you give up on him and try to love him more. Good Luck
A
female
reader, love bite +, writes (14 May 2008):
love bite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx guys for helping me out.i will try to talk with him and find out how he feels and see if we can rekindle the fire we once had.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): I'm sorry about your first baby, and sorry your having a difficult time. Only one answer though. Ask your husband how he's feeling. Tell him how you feel. Talk to him.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 In terms of how he feels about you, I think he's probably pretty much moved on from what happened - he told you himself that you were going to move on from the past, which was very nice of him, and also shows he really cares for you. Basically, if he hated you for the abortion, he would have left you after you had it ... he wouldn't have stayed around and had another child with you. He wouldn't have risked you getting pregnant (in case you aborted that, too) unless he loved you and trusted you.
But I agree with the first reply you got - having another baby relatively quickly definitely brings out feelings of remorse and grief over the lost baby. He may be struggling with this alone and not telling you because he doesn't want to upset you, and because he had promised to move on. And I suppose, yes, too, there is the chance that he is feeling grief for that baby and somewhere in his head is blaming you for the abortion.
Having said that, it could be much more that post-natal thing some men get, when they can't quite get their heads around the fact that their sexual pleasure actually resulted in a baby coming out of you ... it changes your body, and changes who you are. The shock of this is usually relatively temporary, though (i think/hope, having just had a baby myself, and finding my partner not as keen to rekindle the twice-a-day sex that led to her conception as I am!!).
My advice:
TALK to him about his feelings about the baby and abortion
Try harder to seduce him ... don't just wait for it to happen: make it happen!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): I highly doubt it. I think it might be because of the pregnancy and birth and him not knowing it is okay to have sex, or he is overwhelmed with the new child or ...
You must talk to him about it, he may think you may not want to because of all you went through. He may be waiting for you to give him the go ahead. I know my wife and I went through the same thing after she had a child, and the doctor told us to wait a year before we tried to have another child. Honest and open communication is needed here, assuming will get you into trouble.
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A
male
reader, Andrew83 +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hmmm.
1st of all, did you both talk about the abortion and agree?
If not, why not?
You see, your both in this together, so you both need to agree on whats at hand with what is best for both, not just what you felt. That kinda goes one way, which is yours and isnt so very good.
Sit both yourselfs down, talk about it and find out whats botherin him (it is the only way to find out really).
He may or may not be holdin it against you but dont feel that he is till you talk to him. (try not to think it's the abortion, if your wrong then you may push him away)
I hope this and if any other aunts post helps you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): [Post removed by moderator.] Mr Flynn 24, your comments in situations that present cases of abortions are obviously biased and very hurtful to the poster, please refrain to write on only this matter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is quite common, the appearence of a newborn baby, suddenly hits home what was terminated previously. He may never get over this but maybe he will learn to live with it.
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