A
female
age
30-35,
*hadytree
writes:I'm ready to be in a relationship. What am i doing wrong which is inhibiting me from being in one ? I'm 18 and live in London with an active social life, going to university and previously went to a mixed school. I think I am quite attractive, but not to everyones type ( who is ?) I'm middle eastern and quite short and slightly chubby. I've only ever kissed, but nothing has ever come out of it. I've had many experiences where I've liked people who have liked me and I've ended up not and then in the rest of the scenarios they've had a girlfriend or just not interested in me. This really has had a toll on me, my friends don't understand my bad "luck", nor do I actually ! Please ask me more questions or just be upfront about what you think ... I know this is a pathetic thing to ask but even though on paper i may have it all but I've been so lonely and sad i just needed some advise that is so hard to ask for.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shadytree +, writes (13 December 2007):
shadytree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for you advise ! You know im apostive person but sometimes can feel really down about things especially cause im just slightly lonely at the moment living away from my friends and family. Your support is really helpful ! xxx
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 I dont believe you have bad luck on relationships. I just believe that everyone has their own time for love. Its not your fault that things may not turn out the way you wanted it. It happens to the most of us. ITs as if we have to be let down in order to find true happiness. So im not quite sure what you are asking but i just wanted to let you know that you shouldnt be so hard on yourself. You'll have your time on being in a relationship and when you do find that Mr. Right, it would be worth the wait. Good luck and dont put yourself down. You must have good qualities due to people have liked you before but dont take it as something is wrong with you because they ended up being with someone else, take it as they just werent made for you. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Hmmmmm... This is a difficult question to answer.I would have to say, certainly in my expereince, if you go looking for it, searching for that girl you've always wanted you WON'T find her.I don't know whether we have a sort of 6th sense but I have to say if I meet a girl and there's no spark and she's too "keen" from the off it's a big turn off.When I go out I have a laugh with my friends and just enjoy myself. If something happens it happens - if not I'm not bothered - I'm with my mates and just want to have a good time.You're at University which is THE PERFECT place to meet and interact with new people. Do different things, try new things, put yourself in situations where you'll meet new people, join various clubs, even try things you wouldn't normally try just for the experience. MOST OF ALL JUST BE YOURSELF. If someone likes you you'll know.I met my first ever girlfriend in the local supermarket, and my last in a dingy blokes pub (NEVER any girls in there!). Both times I wasn't looking for it and KABOOM! Lightning struck.In my opinion bars/clubs are NOT the best places to meet people. Having said that, my best friend has been married to his wife (5 years) and they have a kid now (1 year) and they met in possibly THE worst sh*thole club I've ever been to.LIGHTNING CAN STRIKE AT ANYTIME. GET OUT THERE, DON'T LOOK FOR IT, JUST ENJOY YOURSELF, TRY NEW THINGS AND IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, lolo89 +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Hi,It sounds like your doing everything right to find someone with your good social life.Don't feel you have to date people because they are there or available. Its no good pushing yourself to get involved with someone just to have a bf. Wait until you find someone naturally you'll know when its the right person these tend to be the best relationships.When going out make sure you smile and make eye contact and walk tall chin up men love confidence, and someone might take your eye if so don't be afraid to start chatting.Please dont go after guys with girlfriends, just imagine if you went out and you became that girls. Good luck..P.s Ive found usually that the right guy comes up when your not looking:)
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