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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I just wanna get some opinions on if others think my girl could be cheating. We've been together about a year but before me she'd had a string of short term relationships. Things have been good but the last couple of months it's been up and down. A few weeks ago she was lying on her stomach on the bed on her phone, I walked in the room and she immediately locked her phone and put it under her pillow. I left the room, came back 10 mins later and the same happened again. I've noticed she always keeps her phone on silent and never let's it leave her side now too, something she's never done before. We went to a party 2 weeks ago and she got really drunk and passed out when we got home. I went through her phone and found some texts to the person she was seeing casually before we got together. They were very flirty but nothing sexual was mentioned. As I was looking through her phone at 4am it started ringing and it was this guy!!!! I didn't answer and quickly put her phone back on the side only for it to start ringing again! I reached over and was going to answer to see what he wanted but I woke her up and she snapped at me for touching her phone and put it under her pillow with her hand on top of it. She's previously said this guy was horrible to her and she feels nothing for him so why is she still speaking to him? I think I'm ready to end the relationship anyway but does this sound like she might be cheating?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2014): People think the police should be able to do searches if they have probable cause. Why shouldn't you be allowed to invade a little bit of your partner's privacy when they give you probable cause to suspect something too?
As her point-blank if you can look through her phone. Her reaction alone will probably tell you what you need to know.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (6 August 2014):
 Why didn't you ask her about the call? Getting a call from ANYONE at 4 AM is not normal, least of all from a guy!
It definitely looks like there's something's fishy. Ask her point blank about what's going on. Why is this man calling her at such odd hours? And why is she still talking to him in the first place if he was indeed that horrible to her as she said?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 August 2014):
 She might not be physically cheating but the whole hiding her phone and odd phone calls at 4 am doesn't bode well.
What I don't understand is why you haven't asked her what's up with the 4 am calls.
And of course she has told you he was horrible, that way you might not question her - and you know what? It worked, didn't it?
As for her wanting privacy when it comes to her phone, I suggest you respect it.
TALK to her instead. You know her well enough to know when she is lying (I hope).
IF she IS talking to this guy and "flirting" (borderline emotional cheating in my book) I'd ask her why. And I'd ask her how she would feel if you did the same with a female ex.
TALK, man. Or walk.
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A
female
reader, PrincessRiches  +, writes (6 August 2014):
 I hate to be blunt, but yeah, it does sound really, really suspiscious. Why on earth would he be ringing her at that time.She is most certainly hiding something on that phone, her sneaky behaviour confirms this. Why would she act like this if she had nothing to hide. Just because nothing sexual was mentioned, doesn't mean there isn't anything going on. Were you comfortable with the flirty tone of the texts, or did they make you angry?? If so, then it is not acceptable. If this guy was so horrible to her and she feels nothing for him, then why is she talking to him so much? You say you are ready to end the relationship anyway, so I'd do this before she gets the chance to make a mug of you. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who is gonna treat you much better.
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