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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, uh, I'm new to this so bear with me.I'm 18, and I've got a friend named "Pete". Pete is seven years older than me (25). I've known him since I was 15 and he was 22. And nothing happened, trust me. We just became really close friends over the past three years. And I've had feelings for him for quite some time.And Pete's AMAZING. There's no other way to describe him. The more I get to know him, the more I absolutely adore him. I think he feels the same way I do. And from all the discussions we've had over the years, I also know that we're both on the same page as far as the future goes. It doesn't even feel like there's 7 years between us, but lo and behold, there is.So. If he does feel the same way, am I stupid to act on it, since he's so much older? I know 18 is young and 7 years is a lot, but I have a good feeling about him (doesn't everyone say that?) and I want to give it a shot. Bad idea? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Well I am sorry that he is going too, but you never know, when he returns, just wait and see. Take care. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright guys, thought I'd update again and let you know what the deal is...ah.
Last night we hung out, and I've found out that he's going over to the UK (for his job..he got a "chance of a lifetime" and wants to take it). He doesn't know how long he'll be gone for. At the least, he'll be gone a year.
Ugh, I'm so sad. I want him to be happy and he seems very excited about it, but at the same time I don't want to see him go. So I guess my problem is solved anyway, there's no point in telling him now.
Thank you guys for all your help :)
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Lovely toaster, Yos, now... to make some virtual toast!! (reads virtual instructions...)
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (29 August 2006):
Babes, if he is that great a friend then even if, (which I hope he doesnt) he doesnt feel the same, I am sure that you can still remain good friends, I dont see why a friendship has to be ruined. What if someone else gets there first, you will be gutted. My dear I cant tell you what to do, but I am sure the majority of people on here think you should just tell him!!! Good luck. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI CAN'T TELL HIM!I'm too nervous! :(What if he thinks I'm too young and immature, or he just plain doesn't feel the same way? I'd hate for a great friendship to be ruined.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (28 August 2006):
Dear anonymous poster, dont forget to tell us how things go with "Pete" ok? I am dying to know!!!
Hope it works out babe. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): Hey! Can I be your online marriage counselor?? *scrunches nose and laffs*
Congrats Peeps!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): Whose the lucky online Godparents?
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (23 August 2006):
Snowbird you are right, and I think I was the one who started it, if you trace it down, I think its all my fault. Oops!!!!! x
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female
reader, snowbird +, writes (23 August 2006):
This is gettin' just plain silly!!! - just up my street! lol, hehe..
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (23 August 2006):
Dear anonymous poster: will you keep us all updated please with the latest developments between you and Pete? I hope you do and most of all I hope you are happy. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh congrats Pete! hehe
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Congratulations :) Your toaster is in the mail.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): Dr Pete, think its time you tell them which fellow DearCupid agony aunt you married last night!!!!!!! Come on, we are all dying to know!!! xxx
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (23 August 2006):
David my dear friend, if you take things slowly you may miss out on the course true love!!!! Its far better to just go ahead and take the plunge. xxxx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Tut tut, I feel it my agony uncle duty to inform you that I think this marriage was awfully rushed. I think you should wait and take things slowly before embarking on the road to passion. Ar you sure you both are ready for children already?
Let me know how you 2 get on, xx
To answer the original poster of the question, the chemistry is all there, GO FOR IT!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): (sorry to hijack the thread too)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): As of last night I am married! I got online married to a fellow dearcupid person, we had a online honeymoon in Hawaii and are expecting our first online baby. skeptic's might say it happened too quickly but we are following our hearts. hehe... :)
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (23 August 2006):
Sorry to the girl who posted the question, dont mean to hijack it!!
Yes David, men with the name Pete have something unique about them, I have discovered that of late anyway!!!! xxx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (23 August 2006):
Well bonym, it does look like Pete is amazing afterall, lol
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (23 August 2006):
Dr Pete you naughty man!!!!!! (lol) 26 is just the right age for me!!!! hint hint!!!1 (lol)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): Sorry M, you are mistaken, I am 26, not 43... :)
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (22 August 2006):
Sorry I just realised, I wasnt trying to put you off when I said the other Pete is too old for me, I meant that he is 20 years older than me. I am 23 so you can see his age!!!! but not with you cos 7 years is absolutely nothing, sorry babes. xXx
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (22 August 2006):
Well Pete sounds like an angel sent from the realms of heaven!!! What is it with people named Pete? I mean I have a thing for 2 men named Pete, but one is married so thats no use and the other is a bit too old for me, DAMN!!! Anyway babes, you sound like you are on to a winner here, good luck and let us know how you and Perfect Pete get on!!! xXx
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female
reader, sugersweet02 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 you go for it!!!!
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female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hi there, I say go for it. I am 19 and have had a few bad relationships all with people of my age group. Then I met the love of my life who is 26. I love him so much and he feels the same. We are both on the same level and we don't even notice the age gap. Nobody does as were so well suited. So go for it girl you know him well already. Age is nothing but a number. good luck
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Just be confident and relaxed and let your natural self shine through.
I can't wait to hear how things go! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thanks guys for your quick replies!
I'm going to do it. Ah, I'm so nervous. But if it works out, he'll be totally worth it.
Hannie, I'm glad to hear about you and your boyfriend :) Five years of dating is a long time. You must have a great relationship!
& Pete: I will definitely post a followup! Once I get the courage to ask him of course. Hah, the idea of snogging his brains out isn't so bad :P
Thank you guys a lot.
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female
reader, hannieseds +, writes (21 August 2006):
Go for it girl!
I was in EXACTLY the same situation. I was 18, he was 25, been friends/work mates for 5 years but man, did I have a crush on him! I just knew he was the one for me and as our friendship developed and we started hanging out more and more, I just knew that what I felt was real and from the way he started to look at me and everything, I just knew that he was beginning to feel the same way.
So I just started doing little things for him. For example, he used to do a bread-run (deliever bread to all the gas stations, dairies etc) from midnight to about 3am. So that night before he started, I went round to every single drop he did (I went with him to help many many nights previous so I knew where every one was!) and sellotaped a cola chupachub (our thing - he used to always buy me one and vice versa) to the bread box or do the door of the shop or something where he would find it - 44 lollipops in total. He was completely blown away by something so thoughtful and suddenly realised that what he felt for me was just as real as what I felt for him.
I am now 23, he is 31 and we are still together 5 years later. There is hope for you my dear!
So my point in telling you that is to find a way to blow him away with your kindness, love, thoughts. You have known him a long time so think of something that will mean heaps to him and that will show him at the same time how 'into' him you are.
Please let me know how it goes! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): I do agree, it is time to tell Pete how amazing you think he is and how much you adore him.
Say it with with a well thought out note/card and ask him for lunch.
Just tell him.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Any guy by the name of Pete (whether fictional or not) is alright by me!
I think you should make a move if you like him and you think he likes you back.
Do something subtle.. like pounce on him and snog his brains out. No way, I mean, something SUBTLE. Maybe you should say something like "Pete, I really think are amazing" and then do that "I'm a girl and I fancy you" thing that you girls can do some brilliantly well.
You'll know how he feels by what he does back. And if he does seem to like the idea, but is a bit shy, then I reckon you'll free to pounce on him.
Good luck! Can you post a follow up with what happens?
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