A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi thanks to all you answered the question I posted about "Helping me win my husband back"Ok her are some more details. My husband left me 4 weeks ago because of the way I used to treat him, which was lower him down and call him names(But never infront of people)I know, not that that makes my behavior anymore acceptable!He left me to be able to have time to himself and to see if he can love me again. He now knows that I've changed and says he truly trusts me with that. But the problem is that he thinks his feelings for me have died, but he's not sure if they have. That's why he needs time out to clear his head and see what he really feels. Since leaving, he's here everyday and stays on saturdays(Separate bedroom) How should I be around him when he comes, so that he'll want to come back to me? We've started chatting more now and once in a while he's even smiled at me. But I do still get hot and cold from him. I'm so gutted. I'm not a horrible person, just somebody who couldn't control herself. But this has changed me for the best. Now I just need him back, so I can prove this to him :( I know we still have a chance, because he tells me not to be too sad as it's not completely over yet. He just needs time. But at the moment he can't promise me any outcome! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Hi
Have you figured out why you treated him so bad and couldn't control it? Because obviously you dont want it happening again, if he does come back.
There are certain personality disorders that can cause someone to be like that. And it can be a nightmare for the one on the receiving end.
If you have definately sorted out that issue, then only time will see what happens. You cant make him go any quicker really.
And like i say, if you know you wont keep treating him bad, just be yourself, and hopefully things will work out for you 2.
Good luck.
C xxxx
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Hi there
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. This happened to me and unfortunately my husband left and didn't come back. He also told me that he felt his love for me had died. At about the same time span as yours he would come round all the time. I made the terrible mistake of behaving in a desperate and needy way and basically begged him to come back all the time. In hindsight I truly wish i had been a bit more aloof and in control of myself looking more like a srong capable woman. Therefore my advice to you would be not to bring up the relationship unless he brings it up first, let him talk if he wants too but above all behave in a calm and dignified manner. Do not push or try to control him in anyway just listen and say you agree etc and that you are so very sorry for the past. Try to leave him with a positive image of you. Obviously make yourself look attractive and take time with your apearance and make the house nice and clean. I too used to call my husand names and I wish I hadn't but it is too late for me. I so hope he can see you have changed. My main piece of advice would be don't push things , let him bring up what he wants to say first and listen to what he says, try not to butt in or ride roughshod over his talking thinking you know what he is going to say etc. If he wants to come back he is going to have to make some moves and make some attempts himself so see if they come naturally. If you want to talk more just send me a message. All the very best,
fingers x
...............................
A
female
reader, jaq  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 give it time, time is a healer you should go get help wit your issues, not for but for yourself
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Treat him like a man and make him feel useful .
Ask for his opinions to make him feel important.
Listen to his every words and try not to contradict him and do not criticize him but praise him instead.
You may suggest your ideas but let it go if he disagrees with you.
Your chances are bright when he stays with you.
Don't lock your bedroom doors. That is a turn off.
It shows that you don't trust him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 March 2008):
It takes a long time to regain someone's trust and confidence once it has been lost. You need to be patient, calm, and try not to have any knee jerk reactions if anything does not go well.
Try to remember how you were with him when he and you were courting each other. Try being like that again. The kind of person you were when he first got to know you is the person he fell in love with. Trying to be like that again may waken the spark in him.
Good luck.
...............................
|
