A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone please help me with this fear i have that my boyfriend will cheat on me when he goes out with his mates. He doesnt handle drink well and doesnt know when to stop and ends up acting a right knob and not remembering what he gets up to. He doesnt go out often but has a stag night this weekend and i am terrified he will go off with someone. He has never cheated on me and we have been going out 18 months but how can i trust him when he wont be aware of what he is doing? I feel physically sick but cant say anything cos i know in the past he has forgone nights out with the lads cos he knows how upset and how i worry myself but i dont want to stop him having fun but i know i will be in a fowl mood all day just thinking about it and end up taking this problem i have in my head out of him. also im sure they will end up in a strip club and just the thought of that drives me crazy. can anyone whos been in similar situation give me any help in getting over this before i have another night of sheer torturing myself with images of what he is up to.
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cheated on me, stag Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Lee, thanks for your reply - it is good to know I am not the only one like this! if you want to get in touch so we can talk and help each other please let me know
thanks xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): OMG I am in the same boat as you. I have been with my bf for 18 months. he also has never cheated on me, but he cheated numerous times with his x which is y i think he's guna do it to me. He promises on our daughters life that he hasn't and wont and even that isn't enought to get the images out of my head of what he is doin without me. My problem stems from my low self esteem and not feeling good enough for him as he attracts attention from alot of women that are far hotter than me.... I don't know what the answer is,.... I drink myself to sleep the nights he goes out and then I don't know whether or not to let him touch me when he comes home coz I don't know if he's been with someone else.....
I wish I could answer your question . and mine. but I hope you feel comfort in knowing your not the only one that is like this
Lee
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, it really helps to have someone tell me that is a human reaction to worry and most people go through the same thing. and pointing out the fact that he has forgone nights out in the past that he does care alot
thanks again, i'll probably still be a wreck on the night but i do feel a bit calmer at the moment!
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A
female
reader, Knight_in_White_Satin +, writes (20 May 2009):
 STOP! Breathe!
Your boyfriend has never cheated on you before in your 18 month relationship, even when drunk, it's unlikely that he'll start now.
Is he mates with the lads he's going out with? Can they hold their drink better?
If they can then they'll most likely look after him, guys love to see each other act like knobs- not a clue why but they do. But they'll all look after each other and make sure nobody does anything they'll regret badly- like cheating or walking into moving traffic. :P
So try not to worry too much. You've just got to trust him.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (20 May 2009):
Your not paranoid your human, everyone goes through this!
Men see no wrong in how they act when theyve had a drink wonder how it would be if the tables were turned???
Anyway, have you talked to him? im sure hed reasure you and after hearing what you had to say may even ease off how he would be. Becareful how you word it, you dont want to come across as insecure. Rather than sitting there and thinking about it plan a girly night or do something to take your mind off it, you need the balance and the trust, let him do this and hell have more respect for you and is less likely to betray your trust.
Let him know how much he means to you.
Dont let jealousy kill your relationship, guys will have nights out stags are just a bigger version on this, things do happen but if hes true to you you trust him and he geuninly feels the same then he wont let you down.
You say hes aware of how you feel, with this in mind i doubt hed ever let you get hurt if he knows its worrying you so much, if hes canceled nights before then you obviously mean a lot. You need to trust him and you both need to be able to do your own thing without worrying about each other.
He doesnt sound like the type to hurt you in this way so dont worry yourself on something that most likely wont happen.
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