A
female
age
51-59,
*ac11
writes:Dear Cupid,Hello, this is a question about my relationship with my husband. How can we improve my husband's sex drive? We have been together for nine years and married for seven. The first two years of dating were fun and sex was great. It was strange though after we got married the sex started to disappear. I was always trying to get him interested from videos, to sexy underwear, to different positions but there was no inerest. I'm always the one who tries to have sex. He never brings it up. By the way my husband is five years younger than me. I know physically we both have put on some weight from when we first meet. I'm very secure in who I am but it is a downer when you husband always says he is tired. We have no children. Another issue is that I had cancer two years ago and can never have children. We both have excepted that but still in two years we have had sex probably 10 times. My husband is not the most passionate or attentive person it just isn't him to show emotion or affection which is funny because all of his siblings are the complete opposite. He does take medication for gout which he diagnosis with I believe within the first year of our marriage. To get him to do anything is more painful than going to the dentist. We have been through a lot and I do love my husband. I do know he loves me because I remember very well in front of his family and hospital staff when I was being wheeled in for my surgery to remove my cancer he shouted it out loud that he loved me which is not his character. Please if you have any advice I would appreciate it.
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male
reader, Roshii  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 oh this is a tricky situation, He him self can improve is sex drive by masturbating frequently. a change in diet could help him have more energy if hes stressed, or tired. But its usual for a decline in men as they age. Your in your prime now mylady. He was at his when he was 19.
I feel that this maybe something that you both will have to compromise on. But speak to him, tell him of your needs. see if theres any 'problem' hes worried about that may be making him disinterest. Erectile Dysfunction, Stress, Theres so many possible factors in this.
If you wish to talk more im sure i can help in some advice way, Feel free to inbox me, Do not let my age put you off, i have advised many people going through simular issues.
Best of look
Roshiii
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 July 2010):
 He sounds like a good guy so I think talking about how the lack of sex is hurting you would be a good start. Not just the, "I'm so horny and we never have sex anymore" conversation either. Tell him that you miss the connection you felt. You miss the intimacy. How his never initiating sex leaves you feeling lonely and unwanted. (I'm not trying to say this is the case, just giving examples of things to cover)
A couple of observations that may or may not be on point. My gut tells me that he may not have fully accepted the fact that you can no longer have children. This could be one reason for his disinterest in sex. Another thing is that as many people get older, their sex drive decreases. Many men around his age start to have this happen. With the stress of almost losing you to cancer, he may not have much drive at all.
The first step should always be discussion. Tell him how you feel. Talk about your feelings and don't point blame. Good luck!
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