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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have PTSD and anxiety due to sex abuse. It started happening when I was in preschool. My boyfriend has Anxiety and PTSD bc of prison bc he used to be an armed robber and he accidentally murdered his ex. He became a dog handler in prison. He has become clean of alcohol and crack for 10 years. I have Been clean of heroin for 5. "Pete" has a therapy dog like I do. His dog is a pit while mine is an Irish wolfhound. Both are big dogs. We live on two acres but they don't get along. I mean, my dog "Donovan" is real sweet to everyone but Pete's dog Sasha. Sasha is real sweet to everyone, especially children. Same as Donovan. They just tear eachother upPete gave me an ultimatum: either him and Sasha or me and Donovan. I can't kick Pete out bc no halfway house would take him and his dog. But I can't get rid of Donovan. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2016): You have PTSD and anxiety and yet you're living with someone who 'accidentally' killed someone. I'm no psychiatrist but that sounds like quite an anxious situation right there. Good luck with sorting two dogs out. I think that's the least of your concerns.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): I was married to an abusive man for 18 years. While I was away on a holiday he left, took everything out the house and gave my dog to someone else. I didn't care about anything but I made sure I got my dog back. He is loyal to me and I am loyal to him. Anyone that loves their dog knows there is no other way. Don't give your dog up for a man that is already abusive - however 'sorry' you feel for this guy. His circumstances, his background is NOT your responsibility. Abandon your dog? I hope you can live with that idea.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (2 September 2016):
 I am sorry... Are you talking about your dog or your
guy??
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (2 September 2016):
I am sorry... Are you talking about your dog or you guy??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2016): My dog is a therapy dog with the papers to prove it. I got him when I was in a halfway house myself but couldn't have him right away. He needed to get to know me and listen to me and since there were children in the house they were worried they wouldn't respect that he was working. I was told that even friends of people with seeing eye dogs treat the dog like a pet and the dog gets confused. The house we're in now is a big building that used to be a rectory for a church but is now a duplex. The downstairs is all one room sectioned off into parts. The yard is huge. Its when they're alone together outside or in our bedroom. I want to call the halfway house to see where he can go but I'm not sure if they're looking for him. He won't call them
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 He does not sound like a man that cares about you and what you need if he is forcing you to choose, also him mistakenly murdering his ex sounds really dodgy and unsafe to me, are you sure you know this guy enough to live with him? If the dogs are causing a problem get a trainer on to them. But I still would be sending Pete somewhere else to move, he sounds very controlling.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 Contact the organization(s) that provided said therapy dogs, get them (and yourselves) additional training and deal with the aggression issues. Simply put, get professional help for the dogs.
And why would Pete need to move to a halfway house? Why can’t he move to his own apartment?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2016):
 Sorry I agree with the rest, Pete is trying to manipulate you into giving up YOUR dog for the sake of his. And that is not OK.
He moved in with YOU.
I also find it strange that two therapy dogs weren't socialized better, but here we are.
And I'd say Bye Pet (and Sasha).
I have met a few veterans with PTSD service dogs and they ARE what have kept those guys feeling "sane" and alive. So I would NEVER prioritize a man over one of those if I was in your shoes.
Are you in therapy still for the sexual abuse that happened?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2016): I absolutely agree with and respect the need for therapy dogs, esp for ppl with anxiety. I can imagine why you both have PTSD too. However, I'm wondering if his dog really IS a therapy dog or if he knew the right things to say to get papers to prove it.because he's a dog handler, he may know how to train his dog to MISbehave or even attack yours.
I know people can turn themselves around, but his crime of armed robbery and "accidental" murder worries me. Sure, you can have a gun misfire during a hunting trip, maybe your breaks go out on the highway but you don't accidentally murder someone. If you're talking about halfway houses, he can't have been out of prison for long. And unless they want a lawsuit, I'm not so sure they'd be able to say no to a therapy dog.
What Pete wants is a (probably) free place to live and CONTROL. If he's not in a halfway house, is he breaking part of his parole? Is he receiving disability or going to appointments? How is he getting around? I doubt he has a license! How close are your neighbors?
I think he likes the free ride, the solitude, and the fact that you probably can't get out and about much. Now he wants to take away what you need the most, Donovan! I agree with the person who thinks Donovan doesn't like Sasha's character.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 Keep Donovan and send Pete ( and Sasha ) packing.
If he is so dumb, erm,.. I meant, imprudent, to issue ultimatums that he cannot 100% back up- as in the case of, the ultimatum could lose you the only roof you can get over your head- too bad for him; if means that he may have attended the School of Hard Knocks, but he did not graduate yet.
I also think that if his way of resolving conflicts is throwing his weight around and hectoring / bossing the person who he is supposed to love, - then in jail they may have thought him dog handling, but teaching him social adjustment and a modicum of empathy has miserably failed.
P.S: I do hope that these dogs have not been appointed
" therapy dogs ".. just by you ,the owners. I find strange that you can even register a dog as therapy dog if it has not priorly been extensively socialized - around people and also around other dogs.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (31 August 2016):
You ever think the dog knows something you don't??? Dogs can judge character very well...and based on the fact that he does not care about your need to have the dog...I say the dog is right.
A true loving guy would do his best the bond with your dog, as he knows you need it in your life right now.
The dog was there before he came.
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A
female
reader, Auntie Goddess +, writes (31 August 2016):
 Can you compromise about the dogs? (although i really like the other suggestion of the extra training) Put a gate up and have them in separate parts of the house and separate outside times? If your kids were fighting how would the two of you approach the situation (yes, im aware thats not the same, but maybe there is something clever you will come up with when you pose a question that way? My dog was given to me to help my depression and loniless after my divorce. I couldn't imagine having to get rid of him. The two of you are really going to need to have a heart to heart about this one. Have him sit in your shoes. How would he like it if Sasha had to go?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2016):
 Where Pete goes is not your problem. You are not his mommy.
I had friends give me an ultimatum to pick either them or the man I was dating and later married. I picked him. Because while he did not LIKE these friends he had no issue with MY going to see them. THEY were trying to control who I was with.
True therapy dogs should get along as they should be properly trained around other dogs.
Pete said "me or your dog" I'd go with my dog BUH-bye PETE.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 You need your therapy dog and if the place you live in is yours then he needs to leave.
If he wants to make ultimatums he needs to stand by your decision. He sounds like the kind of man I would choose a dog over any day.
If you don't want to do that then talk to the people who organised the therapy dogs for you, they may be able to arrange extra training.
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