A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so i was with a guy for almost 2 years and it was really serious and whatnot we've been split up for about a year now but as we're in the same friendship group we still socialise with eachother. I was then told that he has feelings for one of my best friends of 13 years, and it makes me feel shit. I've been seeing this other guy who is two years older but knows my ex (but is not friends at all) His friends are really patronising and each time we are together a comment is made to either my friend (because she doesnt fancy him and is linking up with other boys) and me because I apparently don't let him move on. I have said previously that i would care if he tried to be with my friend but i would not stop it. I also feel as i have so much respect for him as i would not get with people if he would be able to find out about it on the night. But he would definitely get with her if she wanted to. I don't know if im over reacting i just feel masses of guilt and unsure what to do? Am a in the wromg for feeling like this?? Hellp!!!
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best friend, move on, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): Maybe you'd help yourself by expanding your circle of friends taking up a voluntary role or new hobby. This will take your mind away from this tight knit group and enable you and your ex to move on comfortably.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2016): Youre going to have to train your mind to switch off about the past because a year is quite a long time to be split up for and he assumes you are totally over him,so start training yourself to believe that you are!
In fact you must be over him to have let it go on so long.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 I can understand why you would feel jealous, but his friends are right, you do need to let him move on and be happy. You are with someone else, so if he likes your friend then give them your blessing, you don't own him, you and him have been over for a long time now. He needs to move on just like you did. Allow him to do that and don't be seen as the jealous ex.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (31 August 2016):
 It is ok to feel odd about the situation.And I think you are very mature to understand not to get involved if they do date.An ex is an ex for a reason, Keep that in mind.Also, you may think that you would not get involved with people he knows, but that is not a realistic promise to make.People want to connect, find love, have sex and you staying "faithful" to your ex in that way might be (in part) fueling your emotions.Everyone has the right to find relations without interference. You and your ex have the right to date anyone of your choosing (even if it is someone who you both know).Wish them well, and focus on your own life, and perhaps figuring out who you might want to date.Ex's that stay in the same circle of friends have to come to grips with the fact that groups of friends are one of the first places that people fish for a dating pool.-Frank Kermit
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