A
female
age
36-40,
*icoleray143
writes:I have a very serious issue that has been on my mind for a long long time now, When me and my Boyfriend first got together for the first 2 years we both did Drugs together and then when he finally went to jail for 6 months and he got out we both started up again for a very short time then we quit, started going to church and now we have almost a year clean togetherMy worry is that we really only had the love that we had for each other when we were together doing drugs and now we don't really have nothing together but we are still trying to hang onI truly love him and he says he loves me but we recently exchanged not so nice words while we were laying in bed and he said 'we only loved each other when we did drugs and all we did was argue' that hurt so bad cause that is exactly what i was worried might be trueMy Question is Do you think if our relationship started out at it's worst doing heavy drugs together and all that bad stuff that goes with it, Is it possible that it ends there, is that all we had and will have or is there a chance for our relationship in the long run??
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (4 June 2011):
Drugs or no drugs, people move on in their lives and often go in different directions. This is probably the biggest reason for why relationships end - we change as individuals and no longer get the same feelings from the person we're with.
With the drugs you probably saw a more adventurous side of him, and him you, whereas now, as well as having to massively change your lives, you're seeing a totally different side of each other.
I guess it depends on how influencing the drugs were in your life, but if they landed you in prison then I'm guessing you both got really far involved.
I would say try and work on keeping the relationship interesting by taking up activities together, otherwise it will just get boring.
Of course your relationship can survive this, it's got this far. But remember, relationships can take a lot of hard work, patience and understanding. They do go through very testing times, but if you love each other, and still want the same kind of future together, then it is possible to make it work. Sometimes we do and say hurtful things, but what's important is being able to learn and move on with each other.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 I think your relationship can last if you two can find another common ground. You did drugs together, and that was your common ground. It was an activity that you both enjoyed in the company of each other. You just have to find something else that's not as harmful, that you both enjoy doing. Whether it be music, art, travelling, movies, outdoorsy activities, going for drives, or even grocery shopping. Haha not really, but you get the idea. There's a whole range of things you two can do together and rebuild your bond.
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A
female
reader, ClearSorted  +, writes (4 June 2011):
Try doing other good things together, may be go together to help people who face the same problem as yours. Try building your life together and see if it works. All the best.
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