A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Recently I got a phone call off my 16-year-old son's teacher saying that "your son is showing very little interest in his work at school and the only thing he's interested in is becoming a male stripper. The careers advisor told me this. We've also found out he's been reading up on how to become one using the school's Internet."Me and my wife are horrified by what the teacher told us.We confronted our son and asked him if it was true, and he said it was. He said he wanted to go into it because it's a good job. He said he wasn't into doing it for the money, or the women, but rather because it's a good job (in his opinion). He also told me it's "a job that gets great benefits (financial and social) and has high-status!"We've tried to stress to him the value of education. He does want to go to college next year, and then become a male stripper, he said to us.I've tried and tried to help him, but it hasn't worked. I've asked him what jobs he aspires to - I mean, that he really aspires to - but he keeps insisting he wants to be a male stripper. I asked if anyone else put ideas into his head, but he said no. I'm worried and concerned by his attitude towards this - he is doing his schoolwork, but not taking much interest in it now (it's his GCSE year).What can I do to deal with this situation??Mark
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Listen there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a stripper, now that being said you should tell him that he can do it but he should do a univeristy or collage program at the same time so that why he has a back up it turns out he doesn't like it.
A
male
reader, BLg101  +, writes (9 November 2008):
well there's nothing you really can do to make him go the other direction. I'm a male stripper and i can remember my parents founding out but they were not that worried. They just thought i was going through a "phase". But, I was very serious all along.
I know that some parents would worry about their children becoming a stripper. Thinking that it's just throwing your life away. If i was in your position I would just support him at anything that he would want to do. Just ask yourself is it really nessary to cause a fight or agruement about what my son wants to be when he grows up?
Also, who knows maybe your son will become something else it's all part of the growing up phase.
In other word, I will tell you that striping is not at all that bad. I mean it is an interesting way to make money. But it is worth it, when you come home with $1,000.00 a night. Well i hope i helped answer your question.
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A
male
reader, jmdiaz10 +, writes (9 May 2008):
You have nothing to worry about. Your son should take dance lessons and there are actually some dance schools that teach very seductive dancing for this very line of work. Many strippers are actually dancers that do this as a sideline to earn extra income. It is a very healthy way to make a living since you tend to take really good care of yourself and your body, and you bring enjoyment to many people. The only drawback is that with age you are no longer able to carry on in this line of work, and that finding stable employment is not easy, but this is the case in most of the arts. I would encourage him to view this as a great way to make extra money while doing something he enjoys, but he should also have a plan for regular employment in a related field. Good luck to both of you.
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A
male
reader, tony910 +, writes (7 April 2008):
Ok the reason why your might want to become a male stripper is because hes confused about his sexuality. Thats what happened to my child then he told me he was gay
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (21 September 2007):
Hi Mark,
I can understand your concern, having a son who is also in year eleven I know that this is an important year. All my son wantys to do is play Jazz on his Trumpet and likewise his results show nothing promising away from his Music.
I personally like to try and see a positive in his situation and likewise with your lad who wishes to become a stripper.
Have you ever watched a male stripper and the actual act?
I will guess that you haven't, not through arrogance but simply because most blokes never do - most venues with male strippers do not allow men in to view unless it is a gay venue and that may not be a comfortable environment for any happily married man to be in.
As a musician performing in some of these clubs from time to time over the past 20 years I have seen what they do and it may surprise you that there is quite an art to it if he chooses to make a career out of it and doing it properly is one hell of a skill.
You might wonder "What is positive about him wanting to take his clothes of in front of a load of screaming women that have just escapped the bingo hall or are on a collection of hen nights etc?"
It is easier to see the positives if you choose to view from a differant angle.
Look at the alternatives: -
He could have chosen not to do anything and to just moap around the place unemployed continuing to make himself unemployable in the process.
He could have signed up for the army where he could train up for a tour duty in Afghanistan where he could have been this time next year armed as a taliban target.
He could opt for a life of crime, drug dealing, stealing, conning people, pimping etc.
You see stripping may not be what you would want him to do - it might not be using his brains in a way you and your wife would be a whole lot more proud of but:
As I said change the angle of sight a llittle bit.
He is looking to be employed in a job that is competitive, artistic, skillful and professional. With rewards that can be dressed with fame and wealth.
He wants to earm himself an honest living and wants to stand on his own feet independantly.
To do this he would have to look after himself and keep himself extremely fit and very well groomed indeed.
He would have to develop amazing people skills and develop an amazing sense of professionalism and patience.
And then for his future:
With a steady and most probably good income trickiling in he will have the choice to improve his education on a private basis at a later date if he chooses to do it, wreather that be by attending a college as an adult on a couple of days, doing an open university degree course etc.
By the sound of it he is not wanting to become a male stripper as a cop out - I have seen the cop outs come into this buisiness looking for the money and other perks so to say and think they can get a frree meal ticket out of it. With an attitudes like that they never last longer than a month. He seems to want to pursue the art of this form of entertainment no matter how contraversial it happens to be.
As a parent I feel the best thing you could do is show him support and show him you are proud of him going for a career on his own. Doing this - no matter how much it may hurt you inside is probably the most loving thing you could do for him at the moment as his father.
You may not like what I have put down here so if you do not may I ask you to please give what I have put down some thought.
I could only hope I would follow this advice if my 15 year old was to pursue an identical career for himself.
Best wishes
Trev
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): It may just be a phase. He is only 16.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (20 September 2007):
 Hmm. Although I'm not a parent, I can understand why a parent would NOT want their child to become a stripper - male or female. That's not how we raise our children - or what we raise them to become.
First of all, if case you were wondering, it has nothing to do with your parenting skills.
I don't think you're gonna be able to steer him in the direction YOU want him to go in. You're gonna have to let him make his own decisions and mistakes as he reaches adulthood in order for him to learn to be a productive citizen. Forcing him out of a career he chooses may only cause him to resent you and aspire that career more out of spite.
Although it sucks, I think the best thing to do is just be supportive as much as possible. You don't have to like what he's doing, but you can still support him emotionally. Maybe one day he'll realize that this isn't the job for him and will seek other employment. THEN you can step in and help him along the path. Until then, you'll just have to wait and see.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (20 September 2007):
 Hello Mark,Why were you horrified? Why do you think your son needs help? What attitude? (If you keep nagging him about this, then I can see why he'd have one, honestly.) I don't understand. Can you please explain?In my opinion, he seems like a responsible young man - he knows what he wants to do (unlike most people his age!), is researching the profession (again, unlike most people his age!) and STILL wants to attend college (which many people choose not to do!). Plus he seems to be very independent and strong-willed. To me, you've raised a very smart young man. He seems perfectly capable of choosing a job that would suit him best.The fact that he is not choosing the career path you would follow is something that I think you and your wife will have to deal with on your own, or maybe through counseling if you can't seem to deal with it. But your son is really doing nothing wrong. Being a part of the adult entertainment industry does not automatically turn you into the scum of society, which you seem to think. A lot of people who are strippers are very well respected. He may even want to enter into the burlesque ring and do a show with some women - Dirty Martini and Saturn are great, and very professional, just to name a couple.The only thing that you can do is tell him that you're there if he needs you. (And you should be, you are his father!)Look, if he ends up not liking what he is doing, then he can quit. He may even ask for your guidance then! But until then, you can't keep hasseling him about his decision. What good will it do all of you? It will push you away from each other and will get everyone angry, frustrated and upset.If it really bothers you, tell him not to bring it up. And please, don't get angry or shun him because of what he wants to do with his life. You are his father and his profession shouldn't get in the way of that.Take care.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 September 2007):
 Hi Mark.
I dont really know because i'm wondering if its not a bad job really! Here in the Uk the demand for male strippers is getting higher and higher. Its perfectly legal. And maybe hes right he will enjoy it?
Only problem with trying to get youngsters to listen is it usually sends them the other way. I know, i got married at 18! hehe Me and my ex hubby now say we should of listened to people but wouldnt of done back then!
Maybe he will start the job then go off it anyway?
C xxxx
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