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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel that i am anxious about my marriage mainly because there is an overwhelming burdensome feeling that marriage is doomed to lead to miseries especially in the region where is live.. I sometimes get overwhelmed by this popular sentiment and give in to the pressure, even if do not have to or want to...Any advice on how can i shield myself from such a pressure?And not take a drastic step that would harm my relationship with that person? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 I say be happy in your own skin. You know your future wife better than anyone and you KNOW your relationship works. A good point to remember though, once you are married, don't fall into the same rut a lot of marriages fall into, you need to continue to WORK at your relationship, continue to communicate with one another and try and spend some quality time together. Just because you get married, it doesn't mean you have to let yourself go, go out with the guys and take one another for granted. Think of her positive qualities and WHY you're marrying her. Listen to her when she wants to talk, you don't even have to say anything or "sort" anything, women talk as a way of getting things off their chest and if lend a listening ear then she'll feel so much better for it.
Moving somewhere else won't help (in my opinion) there are problem marriages everywhere! You just need to believe in yourself, tell yourself it WILL work and don't listen to anyone else in your community going on about how their wife is a nag etc etc. Every couple is different, your fiancee is unique, special and she loves you very much! Return that love to her, continue to communicate and trust one another, show your love in little ways and TELL her you love her from time to time. Be her best friend as well as her husband, appreciate the little things she does for you. If you do this then she'll want to do for you too and your marriage will go from strength to strength as you both bond closer together.
Eve
A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (13 June 2007):
 i suffer from an anxiety disorder so i can relate, and can have learnt from similiar experiences.
are these people actually telling you this in a negative way, or just joking about it?
if they are making you feel horrible about your marraige, then for one they don't sound like nice people. so why listen?
but hey, there will always be negative and positive points of view on marriage.. they happen to look at it badly and other areas will have aton of people who agree ot's the best thing in the world.
i think that you need to understand what your opinion of it is,and how much your partner means to you,
once you know that, other people won't bother you as much because you'll be content with your feelings...
but mostly, talk to your partner, that's why you marrried them, because you wanted a committed r/ship with them!!!
to be thinking of ending a marriage because of some comments is ridiculous!!!
try your best to ignore what people say, it's what you think is important!
wouldn't it be terrible if your marriage ended because of what a few people say?
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 I would suggest that you and your wife move to a place where you feel there is more of a support system for your beleifs in marriage.
-FBK
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Go with how you feel, you tend to find through out life people will always say the worst things about all different situations, for instance when i was pregnant all i heard was horror stories about giving birth and yet when it came down to it it was absolutley fine.
Each relationship is different and ok our parents and grand parents stayed together longer than we generally do but thats only because they have made divorce so easy to do, stick with it all the time you are both happy why rock the boat because of other peoples comments.
Take care.xx.
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