A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone had any good outcomes from online dating? I started online dating in September 2008 and met someone in November, it didn't work out and shes put me off for life :(. She was very insecure and has major ex boyfriend issues, I didn't find this out until I really fell for her.I've recently started to chat with someone else who seems very nice, how long do you normally take to get to know someone before you arrange to meet them? I just want to know as much as possible this time. I read one online dating guide which says you should meet them after 3 emails, but I don't think that gives you enough time to find out about them.
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Multipartner dreamer  +, writes (21 April 2009):
First please let me say sorry to all the respondants who have bad experiences from 'online dating' esp. any violence or emotional or physical abuse.
All or most of of my experiences have been positive!
I have never participated in sites like eharmony as they seem cheesy, certainly now I am married.
I first started 'chatting'or instant messaging during the late 1990's, 1999 to be exact. I got an internet connection and chatted in a MSN Romamnce chat room(s). Usually only went to one. I met several women in this chat room. Most of which were just chat friends.
However, I either physically met or had strong emtoional relationships with some and still do.
My wife. I met her in this chat room over 9 yrs ago. We have never been apart since. I have never had an affair either. We are the same age so that helps. Although she was seperated at the time and I had little sexual experience. I didn't even no what my wife looked like when I went to meet her 2-4 months or so after first started chatting, she knew what I looked like. I think my mother was more worried than I when going to meet her.
I had a great phone relationship with another, who I still consider a dear friend and email occasionally. I alst moved up near her, but for the fact she was further away then where my future wife lived.
I also maintain a 10 yr. chat/IM relatioship with someone, I love as a dear friend. Again we are the same age. We have met only once. Went out for drinks and laughed our asses off, as we always do when IMing. We know alot about onanother and tell things to each other I dont think we would ever tell anyone else. This I consider a very special friendship. We actually would probabaly mess around with one another, but for the distance, and I feeling she is a bit promisucuous. She also respects my wife and my marriage.
Key point is to be honest with each other and know it! Dont lie or take any lies.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I dont see the fuss with online dating, its just like going to a pub/bar/club and picking up a random, the only difference with online dating is that "YOU GET TIME TO KNOW THEM AND KNOW WHAT THERE REALLY LIKE" (preffered that they are not liars and honest people) which is generaly most of the percentage of online dating users. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE WITH OPEN REAL LIFE DATING AND ONLINE DATING! idiots who say "oh but youv never met them" well thats the point, you get to know them then meet them, much more safer them meeting a total random at a club and not knowing anything about them...Thats how people get there drinks spiked and raped! GOODLUCK WITH YOUR ONLINE DATING
regards
phillip
...............................
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Like Telullah said, never say never!
Actually, online dating is not that much different from real life dating, in the sense that you meet wonderful and awful people anywhere anyways.
I registered on two sites (as a free member ... that's how unsure I was initially), and 200-300 "views" and "winks" later (LOL) I met a guy whose line of work was similar to mine - though we would not have met in real life as we work in different regions/countries. We met after one chat only (I actually know the organization of which he is a director), dated him a few times, discovered that we have a lot in common, but we did not fall in love with each other. His posting had a lot of hits, but he only responded to three. I was his third online date, two others he met were looking for a husband as a meal ticket! He told me that he registered after one of his staff told him that he found his wife online (though a different site). But for us, interestingly though, what ensued was that we became professional colleagues instead! I became a short term consultant for one of his projects! We are still good friends now, though we have since moved on as we met and dated others through our own (separate) projects. LOL
There are different reasons why people go online to meet friends or find dates. For me, it was out of curiosity to go online dating, as well as a degree of "laziness" of having to go through the initial process of getting to know about someone "in the flesh" so to speak. I travel a lot for my work and with my unpredictable schedule, emails and chats in the evenings from my hotel room(s) in the field are a great substitute for actual dates. I guess we are all adequately equipped with a "sixth sense" to weed out your "undesirables" from the people that you chat online with.
Good luck with your online search!
Cat
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Online dating can be successful. I dated a guy for four years after meeting him online. Always meet in a public place the first time, like a resturant. Talk to them on the phone several times before you meet. Get their work e-mail and verify they are who they say they are. However, when you meet someone online, hopefully they are not an online junkie, always meeting people online. That makes the relationship hard and you may have trust issues.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 February 2009):
 My experience has been pretty bad like yours has, where I met a guy through an online dating site. We met up and fell for each other pretty quick and moved in together after 6 months.
Everything was going well until he totally changed on me; going from almost the perfect guy who was caring, respectful and completely into me, to a guy that took me for granted and ended up being violent towards me.
So in my opinion, online dating is not a good thing! It seems like you meet a great person online, and even if you do end up falling for them they have hidden issues and thats why they are online not meeting people for real in every day life! From my experience and other stories I've heard, the people you meet online tend to change quite quickly once you have fallen for them.
So I would say stop the online nonsense and wait for a lovely girl to cross your path in real life!
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Hi,
One of my dearest friends ended his marriage, it was drawn out and turned very nasty. He then met a local girl that seemed to be OK but it didnt work out for them.
Then he decided to go on-line dating. We all laughed and gave him a hard time, especially when after only two weeks he met a girl that lived miles away from him. That was on a Sunday evening, and they messaged each other nearly all night. They swaped numbers and called each other. That Thursaday evening he went to see her (5 hour drive away) She is absolutely wonderfull for him, and he moved in with her after only 8 weeks. They have been together ever since.
Taught me a lesson....never say never.
...............................
A
female
reader, lianne x  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 do you have msn ?
spend a bit of time chatting on there or something like that ,
just talk about random things.
as for getting to know some one before meeting,
you wont really know them until you meet,
i say when ever you were both comfortable enough, not too soon though,
i met a guy after a few emails,
that was 6 years ago, though we never got together, we are very good friends now .
online we really liked each other and did have real feelings for each other, but when we met up , we didnt click together, but we still tried meeting up again and then just became realy good close friends......
its worth meeting with intentions of being friends first and seeing what happens, you cant date some one you wouldnt have as a friend "!
...............................
|
