A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had a crush (thats the best term I suppose) on a guy that I've worked with for several months now and while workplace rules prevent anything the situation is about to change (so that we could date if we wanted) and I'm not sure what to make of the situation... Every now and then he'll make a comment or just say or do something that makes me think that he might be interested; ie: shorten my name and say it a few times quickly (I smiled and said hey to which he smiled back), greet me a little different when he comes in to the office (a little more goofey is the best way to describe it), talk to me about personal decisions that he is trying to make to get honest feedback. Then other times he will say something that makes me think he might not be interested, at least in a potentially romantic way, but even with that I'm not sure if is just trying to guage my reaction; ie: mention that a few girls unexpectedly gave him their number, or this one time out of nowhere he started talking about how he had been talking to a girl for a little while and how he had told himself that he would never let a woman dictate his plans for his job but how she didn't want to move at all and that is was causing him to pause and consider his initial thought...I just don't have a clue what to make of any of this - one minute I think he might be flirting a little bit and the next not at all and it just continues on in a little bit of a cycle... any thoughts?Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): it's possible that he's just testing you on how you would react on those things that he did..and somehow flirting on you because as far as i know when a guy is interested in you,he will make you as the center of his attention,like teasing you,calling you names,or commenting on what you do, noticing something which the others don't notice..but i say,he's somehow coward because,if he really likes you he'd surely will tell you about how he feels..
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for all of the responses - I appreciate all of them! Also, I just wanted to add a little clarification as I wrote my initial question when I was really tired. We are both management level employees (I am 25 and he is 30), and since I wrote the question we now work at different locations for the same company, which is why fraternization would no longer be a problem and also means that nothing would really be brought into the workplace. As for me, while I can be more outspoken and talkative in work situations I am usually a more quiet and reserved person so it's not in my nature to say "Hey, want to go out some time?" And I'll be honest (which is easier when no one knows who I am lol) I've never done ANY dating at all, by any possible definition. No school dances growing up, no first kiss or even one-night stands now that I'm older - most times my life feels like a more boring version of the Never Been Kissed movie... I am going to try and iniate some friendly contact (probably just a text) and see if anything progresses but I also feel that most little bits of flirting are over-my-head... Anyways, thanks again for all of the answers and if anything happens/changes I'll post an update :)
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reader, doublejack +, writes (13 January 2011):
As someone who recently dated two different female coworkers, I know how delicate this situation can be. It is entirely possible that he's interested in you but that he hasn't asked you out because he isn't sure how interested you are in him. It is also possible that he's too shy to ask, or that he's just a friendly & flirty guy. If you want to go on a date with him you may have to be the bold one and do the asking. My suggestion is to ask him out on a group activity, that way it won't be awkward. For example, if you're going out with friends then mention to him where you'll be and say he's welcome to meet up with you. If he's interested, he'll accept the invitation and may act more forward than he does at work.
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 January 2011):
I think you need to be brave and talk to him. There are signs that he likes you, and there are signs that maybe he doesn't. But you'll probably find he feels the same way about you. Maybe he's also totally, totally confused. Maybe he doesn't see the signs that you like him.
I would really make a step and just talk to him, and tell him you like him and see what he says. You've got nothing to lose by trying. And to be honest, it sounds like the only way to move forward.
Go talk to him, and good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Im a firm believer that if a man is truly interested he will clearly let you know. It sounds like he enjoys flirting with you, but doesnt want to take it too much further. It can make work a little more exciting to have someone to flirt with (been there, done that) but trying to date someone you work with can be very difficult too. If it doesnt work out there always remains a sense of uncomfortableness that you have to deal with everyday..and unless you leave your job you have to be faced with it on a regular basis. Dont think too much about it until he comes out and says how he feels or asks you out. Dont wait for this guy to do so either!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): He has mixed emotions and feelings. For the love of God, please dont chase this guy. Find a dude who gives you clear signs and is mature enough to tell you he likes you and what he's seeking in a relationship. Regards.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Some people do just flirt a little in a friendly way. I think maybe that is what is happening here. He sounds the sort of person who would ask you out if he wanted to and so relax. Be friendly, but I would not read too much into this to be honest at the moment.
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reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (13 January 2011):
I say do not make any moves toward him at all. If he likes you he will come to you. If he seems to flirt just continue to be very nice to him, sweet as well. Be careful because you guys work together. you do not want to put yourself out there and he is not interested, he could be thinking the same thing lol.
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