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36-40,
writes: Usually, it's women who have worries about our appearance. We usually wonder if this is too big, if this is too small, too short, too tall, etc. We usually get the same answer: "It's the inside that counts". And it's true, albeit hard to believe. I know. I'm a woman myself and I sometimes put my looks in doubt. And no matter how much times I'm told that I'm beautiful and it's the inside that counts anyway, I still find it hard to believe.When I look at this situation from the outside, I really feel sorry for myself. Honestly, when someone I know complains that she's too fat, too thin, too this or too that, I feel terrible that they fail to see their true beauty and I feel very sad, because I can relate. It makes me feel so sad that these people suffer over nothing. Sexist as it may sound, however, I know that this is because we're women and it's kind of ingrained in our brains to be like this, on varying degrees from woman to woman.But it's really shocked me how many men struggle with the size of their penis. This really kills me. The penis is - just like breasts - a beautiful part of human anatomy, with wonderful characteristics, which varies a lot from man to man, and it should be celebrated for all it's shapes and sizes. It gives joy to both men and women, and without it, creating new life would be very hard. I think it's just as sad as women who feel self conscious about their labia or the look of their vulva, and feel they can't please a partner as if they had a "designer's vagina". But I digress.I hate to point fingers, but as with most body image issues, I blame the media. From candid jokes in sitcoms to women's and men's magazines to porn, they all want you to believe that size indeed matters. And most people believe it. This is but a myth, as I'll explain later on.I've always thought it's not the size that matters, but the skills. Granted, I've never had sex with a guy who has a big penis. But hey, it's logical, right? Think about it, the vagina may be flexible, but it can only swell and stretch so much. I think there is an average lenght to the vagina, too. Sure, in porn men have giant rods and women melt in pleasure at the very sight of them, and they hit orgasm heaven at the very moment they're penetrated by them. But we know porn is fake, however, sometimes we tend to forget this, even if subconsciously. And if you look closely... well, guys seldomly, IF EVER can put the whole 9 inches inside the woman's vagina!Now, of course guys with big penises can be good lovers, if, as mentioned above, they possess the SKILLS. But they aren't better just because of size alone! And to prove my point, what better than the very words of female porn star Lorelei Lee about why an average sized penis can make sex much more enjoyable:"...If there is anything I’ve learned from my job, it’s that a person’s physical anatomy has very little to do with how much fun you can have in bed together. Also, there are many reasons why a small penis can be a good thing.First, the majority of those giant penises that you see in porn are not fun to have sex with. When I get on set with a guy with a thirteen-inch c**k, I’m like, “oh Jesus, how is this going to work?” It usually takes a lot of patience and deep breathing.Second, while I sometimes enjoy the feeling of a lot of penetration (a feeling that can be achieved just as easily with toys or hands), penetration in itself is not what makes me orgasm. This is true, I think, for most women. I get the most turned on by sex that is creative and dynamic – I like dirty talk, attentive touching, oral sex, and finger penetration much more than simply being pounded by a large appendage. I mean, I like penises, but I think there is this myth that heterosexual sex is supposed to begin and end with the c**k. There’s just so much more to it. I think that whole big-c**k mythology is pretty silly." ++I read this today and thought it was something very nice that more guys should know. We women aren't very different from guys in the sense that we prefer a normal, kind and warm man that can communicate with us to learn what makes us moan, instead of a super macho stud with a 10 in. penis who *thinks* knows ALL the moves to make a woman reach orgasm, but fails to share and communicate with his partner. It REALLY is about skills, guys, just like Ms. Lee said. After all, aside from being a porn star, she IS a real woman anyway. She knows both sides, and she clearly prefers real sex than porn sex.So chill, treat your penis (whatever its size) with the love and respect it deserves. And make your lady friend happy by learning some new moves rather than focusing on your "endowment". Just enjoy it, fellas! ;)++ QUOTE TAKEN FROM: http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/sexsf/2009/02/ask_a_porn_star_1.html
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with ISOHaven, some women are into size, but just like we tell women who come across shallow men... these women are jerks, sorry, but if a woman is expecting every guy to be a 13 incher, then she is not worth any decent man's time.
Fortunately, these women are the minority.
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male
reader, ISOHaven  +, writes (5 March 2009):
I came here because of Tisha-1 post link. Very good article. If I may add my two cents....
Girth does play a good role in stimulation. For some women it's doesn't matter as their clitoris might be too small anyway, but for medium size and above, penis girth can aid in reaching the clitoris to rub up on it during vaginal penetration. But this again, goes back to having the right moves.
Listen to your gal, she'll tell you when you're moving back and forth the right way that feels good to her. If she's not communicating then encourage her to do so but don't push it. Wait for her to become comfortable expressing herself if she is not used to it.
Also, all women are different. What might be too small for one might be too much for another. It always boils down to good, open communication.
And it's also important to note that some women do FLAT OUT care about size. So men will come across these women and they will confuse the crap out of them! So just note the MAJORITY of women share the views expressed in this Question.
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (27 February 2009):
Hey good on you for posting this as there are a lot of questions on here about guys doubting their size for no logical reason.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 *applauding* A very good article and I think that I will direct any future "is my penis size okay?" questions straight here. Thank you very much for this!
And just to add something that is painfully obvious to us women but often seems to be overlooked. Not to burst any bubbles here, but when it comes to female orgasms, the thing that really counts is the clitoris. I read a statistic somewhere that for 90% of women, penis size doesn't affect their orgasms. And while I think most men have heard that women require clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm, sometimes they act as if they don't quite believe it. There's this notion that the only 'real' sex is vaginal intercourse, and that there's something wrong with the woman if she can't reach orgasm through penetration alone.
So thank you Lorelei, for actually saying out loud what so many women think: while penetration is really nice, it's not what makes you orgasm. It goes to my point that porn is selling fantasy; it is THE WORST sex education tool out there.
So you men out there, penises are fabulous and wonderful but the best thing about them for us is that they are attached to YOU and make YOU feel good! They make us feel good too, but it is your lovemaking that is what truly satisfies us. When you understand that, you are 99% of the way there.
Sorry for hijacking the thread a bit! Thank you so much for posting this article. It will be very useful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): well written! Im going to get my boyfriend to read this!
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