A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so i met this guy almost two years ago, and we have been off and on, and im usually the one that breaks up with him, but he says he loves me and he acts like he does, but 2 weeks ago i broke up with him cause he was going to a new school, and he had new friends that never seemed like the time to hangout, and he totally changed, he acts like everything is about him now and when i ask him "why?" he just reply's "why not?" and its like i dont know him anymore, i love him with all of my heart and i want to be with him, cause when some random sad song would come on i would just burst into tears, and its driving me insane, and the big thing is, he now wants to be single for a week cause he needs "time" and now he hangs out with this new girl and she has a boyfriend but likes my guy :( and im pretty sure he likes her back, i just dont kno what to do, i feel used cause he wants to be only friends with benefits this whole week while he "thinks"... what should i do?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 July 2010):
 He's trying to use you for sex while he goes out, dates other people, and has fun without having to worry about the responsibilities of a relationship. Get rid of him, he's not worth it.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 July 2010):
on/off relationships don't work, period. This won't work. This guy isn't interested in a relationship. He's just interested in notches on his bedpost. He doesn't even care that this other girl has a boyfriend. What a waste of time. No matter how much you love him, he will always be sing you. Move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): I know the advice I am about to give you may come off as playing games, but listen ok? First off, stop showing this guy that you care so much, stop telling him how much you love him and want to be with him and how he is the only one for you (that is...if you are doing that). What women fail to realize is that men get bored when the chase is gone...once he thinks he has a woman right where he wants her, he stops putting forth effort and doesn't appreciate her anymore. Learn to be a little distant and you can do that by not calling, texting, or emailing all the time and when you do, let him be the first and when you respond, make it short, sweet and simple. Act non-chalant about the relationship...you can show that you care, but not that much and then once you get the guy right where you want him, you can be a little bit more open. I think most women (myself included) make the mistake of caring too much for a man and letting him know that, we want to know what he thinks, where he is at all times, how does he feel about us, if he sees a future with us and so forth and so on. We need to stop that and take our rightful places in the dating and relationship world. He chooses YOU and you can decided to accept HIM. If you don't like his behavior, or the way he treats you, let him know, but don't keep repeating yourself like a crazy person, tell him once and that is it. Let a man give freely and just watch him from that point on becuase, in all honesty, you can't make a man want you or love you....heck that isn't something that he can make himself do, so naturally you can't. Also, since you guys are broken up, stop having sex with the guy, as a matter of fact, stop contacting him or allowing him to contact you. If you really want to be with this guy, I would suggest backing off, not allowing him to use you, live your own life and show him that you are happy with or without him. So what if he is hanging out with some other "pretty girl" that's his right when you are not in a relationship. I know you are probably in love with this guy, so it hurts you deeply, believe me, I have been there, but I have also learned lessons as well. I suggest you read a book call "Why men love bitches" by Sherry Argov. You may or may not like it, but she has tons of great relationship advice and how a woman should carry herself if she wishes to snag the man she loves or wants to be with.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 July 2010):
 First, you don't love him with all your heart or you wouldn't be "on again, off again."
Break it off for good, and find someone who you can be with without all the make up/break up BS. I learned long ago that this is the road to ruin in a relationship. If we're together, and you want a break, bye. Plain and simple. Either we're together or not.
You're better off without him. If you're usually the one to break it off, then it's definitely not meant to be.
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