A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 26 years old and I have been married for 2 years now and have been together with my husband for almost 4 years now. We have had plenty of split up and make ups. I have a 6 year old son from a previous marriage and my husband and I have a 5 month old together. I have gained weight like crazy since right before I got pregnant and to where I have gained after I had our baby. I am 188 lbs and am 5 feet 4 inches. I know I am over weight. My husband always tells me I am sexy and that he finds me beautiful. He comes from a family where both his sisters and his mother is very obese. More than I am. But we recently go into an argument because he was stressed out about money. We seem to do great until money becomes an issue. Well we got in a fight because he was stressed out and I got upset because he was treating me like crap and didn't take my son to help him bring things to the junk yard to get money.(my sons loves to help him do things) he left him at home with me because he was mad and stressed out and said he needed time to him self. He came home hours later with almost 200.00 dollars. I was upset because he didnt take my 6 year old like he promised and he was still stressed about money. We then started arguing(after my son with to his real dad's house) he started calling me lazy and that I didnt do anything but eat. That I am so fat because I can't stop eating. That he hasn't been in love with me since I was 145 lbs. Which was before I got pregnant with our 5 month old(we tried for a year and a half and couldn't get pregnant and then finally it happened when we agreed not to have a child) After everything he came to me said sorry and that he loved me and that he didn't mean anything. Well I have been on a diet and I have lost 7.5 lbs in about 5 days. For myself not for him. I just don't understand if he loves me so much why would he say things like this? I know it was because he was trying to hurt my feelings but why would you want to hurt someone you love so much? I am not innocent I did say things that I shouldn't have but when he was going on and on and on about me being fat I just sat there and took it. He said "Awwww is your feelings hurt now?" and I said "Yes, are you happy now you go what you wanted?" I don't recall what he said. But I just don't know what to do. he knows I do not like him talking to me that way and we don't need to hurt each others feelings when we get in a fight. Believe it or not our relationship has matured since the beginning. Ever since that fight I don't feel the connection we used to have. I do love him and I know that he does love me but sometimes I think he hates me as well. What should I do? Every time I try and talk to him about it he doesn't say anything. But I said I was sorry. To me I don't feel that he actually does feel sorry. HE has always called me a bitch when he gets angry because he knows that is the one thing I can not stand I was grew up that men should now call women bitches specially their wife. Every time we ague he calls me that because he knows I do not like it. I think I am becoming numb to the name because he has used it so much when he was mad. Please give me advise I don't know what I should do.
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female
reader, Muscle and Sinew +, writes (16 July 2010):
 a husband like yours is not worth staying with. he is indeed abusive. and he doesnt respect you and is never goin to. all you need him to do is do that to your children. in all honestly it is goin to just get worst, if he is talking to you like that and treating you like that. he isnt worth it. i would not put up with that if that was my husband. i know it would be hard to let go, why dont you give him an ultimatum, maybe get counseling. i hope this helps.
M&S
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Your husband is being abusive, that's all there is to it.
You have to put your foot down and tell him that you are not going to tolerate that kind of treatment any longer...move out for awhile if you have, to, take your son with you and leave him on his own to think about his behavior.
Suggest that you get couples counseling, you do owe it to your children to try and work things out, find a better way to argue and fight and to get along. Children do not do well in this kind of home, you would be better off divorcing if you can't get this resolved and soon.
Do not allow this fighting to take place in front of your child, even if they can't talk, they are affected by the tension, fighting and stress...negatively.
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