A
male
age
41-50,
*erisier
writes: Since my boyfriend change his cell phone password, it got me thinking that he is hidding something from me or he is cheating on me. That situation make me think act different when I'm with him, every time I see him or with him, it get me wonder. Now, I don't even wana see him, don't want to go to his house anymore, I don't even call him any more. Whenever I'm with him in the car I don't talk 2 him at all, if he ask me something I just shake my head. Whenever he offer me something to eat I say no. Why is him changing his cell password is bothering me and make me wonder so much? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 April 2008):
The difference here is entitlement. Are you entitled to it? All though you are not, you're treating him poorly based on your perception of how you want it to go. Just because you want these things, doesn't mean he's required to give them to you. He has yours, that's fine, but it's not a required trade.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): is there trust here? you shouldnt jump to conclusions ask him out straight and if he says no then BELIEVE HIM.
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A
male
reader, Merisier +, writes (19 April 2008):
Merisier is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do understand but it bothers me cause he has my emaill adress,my hi5 and my cell phone password while in have his cell phone.
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A
female
reader, Twirly +, writes (19 April 2008):
Hey There, it sounds like him changign the password isn't the problem at all here, but you are afraid of something else and don't trust him.
I agree with rcn in that you need to look at what it is that's really troubling you and figure out why it is that you're so mistrusting of him.
Good luck xx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 April 2008):
Because your controlling. Why should you have access to his cell phone. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him in the first place. You're treating him like crap over something you have no right too. You either trust or you don't. If you don't, let him go. He doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and you have no right to do so.
You need to figure out, why you need to hold control in relationships. It's abnormal behavior, and "technically" is violation of the Federal domestic violence laws. They state these behaviors lead to other means of control, which then can lead to violence.
You definately have some beliefs and behaviors to work on. Being controlling will take away from your ability to be happy and have a truely satisfying relationship.
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