A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am in my forties and have gone through a divorce. I have female friends both married and single. Since I am newly single some of my married friends have cooled on me. Not sure why. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 As far as I've ever noticed, divorced men don't get ostracised, but divorced women do. Why? Because women are jealous and possessive creatures by nature, and married women who once saw you as a friend and ally now perceive you as a threat. You will most likely find yourself eventually gravitating towards single women and other divorcees when you start to build a new circle of friends, which you will. Good luck with it. :)
A
female
reader, crispap  +, writes (27 October 2009):
This is natural. Married people feel uncomfortable sometimes asking you out as a single because you will be sitting alone while they are together possibly happy and cuddling and don't want you to feel bad. Also marriage carries a lot of responsibilities so it could just mean they don't have enough free time or are as available as you are. Don't take it personally. Besides, being divorced you will feel better hanging out with singles or other divorcees. Otherwise, you can offer to visit some of your married friends at home or have a lunch while their husbands are working so it could be just the 2 of you to talk and catch up.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 October 2009):
Sometimes married couples can see a newly divorced friend as a bad omen. I don't mean that offencively. It's just that they now have to invite you out, you're alone, and they could just feel uncomfortable about it. My advice would be to make sure that you still socialize with other people to make sure you're having fun and giving yourself time to relax, but to perhaps also phone and tell your married friends that you really do value your friendship with them, and that you hope that just because you're divorced they won't see you any differently. But please make sure that are you still socliazing with other people. All the best.
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