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He initiates "eye romances" with other women

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2011)
A female United States age , *aliCal writes:

My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years, and I have been putting up with his ROVING EYES the entire time.

ANY time that we go anywhere, he ALWAYS finds another female that he is attracted to... and makes no secret of it.

He first makes eye contact with them, then constantly glances in their direction the entire time. They usually respond the same way, by smiling at him, and returning the gazes. They begin a "FANTASY EYE CONTACT ROMANCE" between the two.

He is not really THAT good looking, but he attracts other women easily, because he is an Alpha Male, and portrays it.

He denies it when I bring it to his attention. He says that I am "accusing him of something that he is not doing" But I am NOT BLIND. I also have said to him, that he "should be focusing on making ME feel special, and not THEM."

He says he loves me, but I am beginning to feel as though I am not enough for him. And I am beginning to not believe that he really loves me. This is really hurting my love for him. I am beginning to feel number towards him, each time this thing happens

Any advice?

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A female reader, CaliCal United States +, writes (16 November 2011):

CaliCal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

CaliCal agony auntI Think I may have already found a new boy friend. He is 2 years older than me... and I have a lot of fun with him...and he is cuter and nicer than my last LOSER boyfriend. I just got off of the phone after talking and laughing with him for 2 hours

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 November 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntGood for you! Now you can find a guy who only has eyes for you. He's out there.

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A female reader, CaliCal United States +, writes (12 November 2011):

CaliCal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

CaliCal agony auntI finally kicked him out... three years after I posted my scenario. Thought that he would change in time, but never did. Six years of wasted time on him.

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A female reader, CaliCal United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

CaliCal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

CaliCal agony auntThank all of you for your replies. At my age, I already knew what you would say. I have never been with someone who acts like this. He is 12 years younger than me. He says that age doesn't matter. Apparently it does. I look good for my age. I excersize and take care of myself. He looks older than ME. LoL.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

You have pointed this out to him and he denies it and he keeps doing it. He likes the female attention, he is a self centered ass.

The very next time you are out and he does it, reach over and ask him for the car keys, get up and walk out and leave him sitting there to eat alone, pay the bill and take a cab home.

Or you get up and call a cab, either way walk.

We teach people how to treat us, nagging at him isn't working, so reward his disrespect with distance and remove yourself from the situation...or from the relationship for good if he is a selfish ass in other ways, too.

I think it shows a lack of respect and yes lack of committment on his part. He doesn't care enough about making you happy.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntNext time he pulls this stunt, tell him either he knocks this nonsense off or you're walking, and mean it. It doesn't sound like you'd be losing much anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

You need to initiate REAL ROMANCES with other men. Dump him!

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A female reader, bitch United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

Honey I feel bad for you. If you have expressed concern about his behavior and he continues to do the same thing over and over it is disrespectful. No matter what is really going on, if you find it hurtful and he continues to do it, then it is disrespectful. You deserve to be respected by him. He needs to see that it is a concern for you and that he is hurting you by this behavior and he needs to stop it if he cherishes you. If he continues to do this, you should move on because you are deserving of somebody who can love you and respect your feelings the way you need to be loved and respected. You deserve that in your life.

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