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female
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anonymous
writes: Im not happy with my life! i rarely see my dad because he was never interested in me and my sisters when i was a child and i dont like the person he is. All of my sisters have left home and i feel that my mum would be happier if i wasnt around, she moans when i ask her to buy me simple things like yoghurts when she is doing the shopping. i have never got on with her partner (who she has been with for 10years)and its obvious he doesnt want me around. He is taking her away for xmas next year so i am going to be alone. i have a bf who ive been with for 3years and i gt drunk and cheated on him 1night so i know we wont last for ever, plus he joined the army a little while ago. i have 1friend who is always busy with her bf, and i have no ambition career wise. i am currently doing an admin apprenticeship so i have no money. I hate my life, please help me i starting to question the point of my existance on this planet and i want to get out of this before it gets worse! PLEASE HELP
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Dont be so hard on yourself. sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment.
I am sure that your mum loves you very much. She is probably just to busy with her own stress and busy life to notice that you need some tlc at the moment.
Try to talk to her and let her know that you are feeling a bit low lately to make her aware of your needs and be more sensitive towards you.
No reason to be alone for Christmas, stay with a friend. Hey, if your friend is busy make more friends. Why do you worry about Christmas 2007, another 11 months to go, plenty of time til then!
Perhaps you can get a part-time job apart from your course, it will keep you busy to stop your negative thoughts and help you meet new people.
I hope everything works out for you, and whatever you do NEVER give up.
Stay strong and make the most of life. Sometimes it stinks but is what we make of it that counts,there are always things we cannot change or control but again some we can. Concentrate on positive thinking and do something productive that you enjoy.
You do not say your age and it does not matter because you only get one chance to live life and you should enjoy every day of it no matter how old you are.
Lots of hugs from Angel of Love
xxx
A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 Kind of sounds like your goals are confused or even nonexistant. Your turmoil is the result of requiring a particular responce from others. It may be hard but we all have to break away from the need of justification at some point. You are fine just how you are. If you take more time I think you'll find your ok. The cheating shows your not too into the relationship and should probably not date untill you can handle it. Mainly because that sort of thing can be devistating to all involved. I wish you luck, realy. Most of the people I know have had to look away from the family love environment as their parents werent responsible enough eather. I am sorry to hear about the situaition with your parents but we have to let go of them too. I mean at what point are you going to start your life? or are you going to destroy yourself trying to get blood from a turnip? (so to speak) they are your parents, but your making your own decisions now so you dont need them any more. I say take more time deciding things and let life take its course, you'll be fine. you dont have to be in a relationship to be ok, in fact in most cases you'll be worse off because you are not ready for a serious relationship. The have to have a man philosiphy is way off. you dont need anyone to make you better than who you are right now. Until you realize that I'm afraid life may only get more difficult for you.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (15 January 2007):
I have to disagree somewhat with the previous advice that you have been given. I don't think you give enough evidence in your question to warrent you "moving away" from your family, and don't say how old you are. Either way, moving away can amount to running away, running away from your problems, and you could find yourself in an even worse situation that you are in at the moment.
I understand what you are going through, I have experienced my own depression which lasted a few years, and it can be a very difficult time. It is important to know a few things:
1. You can change your life for the better, and you can change the way you feel for the better. One of the features of depression is that, when you are down, you cannot possibly imagine a time when you might be happy. It's true though, you can be happy. It can take a bit of time to get used to the idea, and to make it happen, but you can do it. It is very important that you know that. Don't give up, you CAN get through the other side.
2. One of the major features of getting better is to start to TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. When you are depressed you don't feel like talking about your problems to people, so it is a great sign that you have come on line and written this message - NICE GOING! It shows you are ready to allow people to give you advice, and allow people to help you. This is good.
3. We don't make our life better by running away from the things that make us unhappy, and the people that make us unhappy. If you run away, most often we repeat the same patterns of behaivour with people until we fix the problem anyway. You can learn to change yourself and the way you experience life, those things, and those people. This is the way forward, through understanding.
4. In some cases, yes, people in your life can be a negative influence in your life, and it is better to be away from those people. This is something you should seek advice on and be sure of before doing, but do trust your instincts.
There are 2 important bits of advice I want to stress. The first is that I would recommend you find someone that you can go to, to help you improve your situation. By this I mean a councellor. You might have access to a school councellor, but if you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone at your school, maybe ask them to refer you to someone who can help. The school councellor can be a good option to start. If you don't feel comfortable to ask someone, check online for information, there is help out there for you, and you should get used to the idea that it would be good to take it. You can even call a help line and get information that way. Try a few options, and pursue what feels right for you. Don't give up.
The second bit of advice is to have a strong conversation with your Mom. Your mom might be a pain in the ass, but she also loves you, possibly more than anyone on the planet. So you need to start improving your relationship with her, for your sake and for her sake. She can also be a key person in terms of helping you through your depession, and turning your life around. Tell her that you are unhappy, and that you are worried that you are suffering from depression, and that you want to get some help with it (if you agree with me, and some of the advice I have given). If you ask her and she brushes you off and doesn't pay attention, she is an idiot. Forgive her for her ignorance, and don't give up, use the advice I have given you to get help yourself, there are people who can help you. But I am hoping that she will hear your call for help, and start to really make an effort with you, and that might be the start of your life getting better.
Also don't forget other people you can turn to, such as your sisters. Reach out to them if you need, and hopefully someone will understand and be there for you.
Your boyfriend can help too. I know there are complications there, and at some point you can come to that when you are ready, but for now, if you love him and he loves you, share your problems with him if you feel you want to. Don't rely on him totally though, you need to develope your own strength.
In time, slowely, you will build the strength to resolve all of these issues, around your boyfriend, family life, work, and happiness in genenral. It happens to many people, like it happened to me, and most of us get through the other side just fine, if we choose to and make an effort.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (15 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Oh sweetheart, you are here for a reason. We all are. What you are saying really scares me. I do not know how old you are, but they have so many people out there that would love to help you. Maybe you can turn to a guidence counselor (if you are still in school), your pastor/priest, another family member...there are even 1-800 numbers in which you can call...just to talk. Sweetie, apparently you are calling out for help. Well, I am here if you want to chat. Please PM me. My hand is out, all you have to do is grab it. PM me please. Everyone goes through a low point in their lives. But, you know, you can pick yourself back up, brush off your britches, and step up to this world. I know you can. Heck, I did. I'm living proof that you can do it. You might feel sure in the fact that people would be happier with you not around, but I feel that is not the case. These people might just surprise you as to how they really feel about you. Don't make assumptions on how they feel. PM me.
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A
female
reader, NenaUnique  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 listen take a deep breath..i am 16 years old and i was going through depression and i didnt tell my mom anything until the point where every morning i would wake up asking "why couldnt i just stay sleeping for ever?" or "whats the point of living" why am i here? stuff like that..and i wasnt depress because my family..i dont have a bad life but somethings that happand really did hurt me..got made fun of cuz i was slim and was going through puberty (pimples)ect. and it hurts..and i know it hurts that your family is not treating you right.but you know what..make something of yourself..dont turn slutty like others girls that have family problems..thats a waste of time..you know what you gotta do? LEAVE! go to another state try to get a job and save money..go explore the world forget about guys for a bit..and i know that you will probably miss the family even though they dont treat you right..but just leave you can cry alittle to let it out. i hope that my advice helped you out a bit. just dont..dont..surrender..be strong..and be EVERYTHING your family wasnt.;)
*Valeria*
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