A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Nothing ever works for me. I know I have issues, as I've known for quite some time. I always mess up every relationship, yes, it's always my fault. I'm 26 at this point and I don't see things improving anytime sooner. I fall for people easily and things always go good for quite some time. Then, little by little, I begin to make up reasons why I don't like the person I'm with. I cheated on my last girl friend who loved me just so she would break up with me, I didn't have the courage to be a man and do it myself, so I cheated like a fool, and broke her heart. I don't want to torment anyone anymore, and I wish I could find peace with myself, as I know this is where all my problems begin, me. I won't deny that I am a narcissus and a user, I put myself before others(obviously), and use people, but I do see beauty in others, I don't feel like I can't be fixed. I just am no good at relationships and people. Even friends, if isn't me, people just end up vanishing from my life. I'm interesting, introverted, and good looking I'm told, but none of these things matter to me as I don't want to live like this if my soul is corrupt. I know the simplest answer is to see a professional counselor, but I will never do that, not just my arrogance, but I have little money or health insurance(non-existent) to do so with. I just want to be a 'normal' person who can treat another person the way they treat me, with warmth, dignity, and respect. Either I'm just finding the wrong people to be with, choosing people that I should never have gotten with in the first place, or I'm constantly ruining the potential relationship that could have been. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, including myself, in this viscous cycle I've aloud to fall into. For now until I realize what's wrong I choose to remain celibate. Until I can be a person that is capable of returning the love that is being offered correctly I don't want part in anything..Such a mess I've become.
View related questions:
celibate, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Only thing I have to add is it sounds like you are unhappy with yourself. Make yourself a happy person and don't beat yourself up over mistakes that you have made. Mistakes are just that, Mistakes. Learn and grow and it sounds like you are doing a good job of that already.
A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (14 January 2011):
Eishh i am exactly the same way... i hope you'll get answers and let me know. Keep your head up man, just try to stick to a small group of people.. im still learning being selfless too!
...............................
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (2 January 2011):
The first step with any problem is acceptance, and especially, remorse. You've clearly analyzed what is wrong, which is good, but most people stop there, thinking that simply accepting that they have a problem is enough to solve it. What they lack is the ability to see how truly wrong it is. Someone who is addicted to alcohol for example may know that they have a problem and may have been forced into AA by family members; however as long as they don't admit how much they are hurting themselves and others, as long as they still find a benefit to using, they'll never improve.You've already beaten that. You clearly know what the problem is, but even more, you've acknowledged that your actions are wrong and hurtful to others and that there is a better way to live. That is easily enough to get started. I obviously am not a professional and cannot offer any deep advice; only my sympathies and support. I really think there isn't anything someone can't overcome so long as they have the will and cunning to do so. You want this to change, not just because you want a relationship, but because you realize how unfair it is to others to act in the way you do. I think you can work on it from here! I really do. As long as you want the change, it can happen.
...............................
|
