A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months now. I found out that she is still friend with her ex. We were going through pictures on her phone and she pointed out her ex in one of the group picture with her friends. She told me that they were friends with each other before they starting dating. Then he went through some tough time and didn't want to be a relationship anymore. So they broke up but still remain friends. They still hangout together with the other friends sometime. I'm not sure if they still ever hang out together alone or not. I know I'm a little insecure, but it feels awkward and uneasy seeing your girlfriend still hanging out with her previous lover. Should I talk to her about this? Or just TRUST her and leave it alone? Is it normal to still be friends with your ex and not have any feelings attached?P.S I'm not trying to have her break up their friendship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): It's to risky because it's a fall back for comfort when friction happens with a couple. The fall back to the ex frequently results in an affair or reconnection. I would never allow it. It's either me or her. If he still finds the need to be friends with his ex than why the hell did he break up with her to begin with? Way to much unecessary baggage for assured drama.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (2 January 2011):
As long as its a healthy friendship, there is nothing wrong with it. If she treats him just as she does any other friends she's with, I don't see why they can't still spend time together. If you've only been dating for 3 months, chances are she has had this guy in her life much longer than you've been in it, and you'll need to accept that.
I know its not easy, but support her decisions and this will really show that you trust her which will be much more beneficial to your relationship.
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A
female
reader, Secretlife +, writes (2 January 2011):
I think it's ok for her to still be friends with her ex long as she isn't cheating on you. You should to her about it. Still you should trust her. Don't make a big deal about it to her just be brief. If she doesn't show signs of cheating then everything should be ok.
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A
female
reader, hotinlove +, writes (2 January 2011):
Jealousy is a hard thing to overcome. Yes, it is possible for two people to remain friends after a breakup. Until you are given a reason not to trust, you should completly trust her intentions and that they really are just friends.
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