A
female
age
26-29,
*nonymous711
writes:Hi, I am 14 and soon to be 15 in one month, and my boyfriend is 14 which he has just turned 14 but we are in the same year at school. We have been going out for a month on friday and it has felt like longer as we were 'seeing each other' a week prior to his, until it was official. And I talk to him everyday and he rings me a lot, and I really like him and we have met up a few times and he turns me on (sorry for the details). anyway we've felt each other up, but his friend wants him to finger me, and he says he wants to and I'm not sure if I am ready yet, and I think he likes me but for the last few days I think he just wants me for my body. He wants to meet up today for a couple of hours so we can do this, I don't know what to do? As he said he will tell his mate if he does, and I have never done this before and I am scared and he hasn't done it before either. But I think he might jut go show off to his friends and keep wanting just a sexual relationship instead of talking as well, is it too soon to get fingered? How long after going out do you think it is okay? Please help xxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (20 August 2012):
 DONT DO IT!!! I can't stress that enough. Tell them no. Your much too young.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 August 2012):
 Adults do not talk about their sex life with other adults. His friend and your BF are being very immature.
YOU are not ready
YOU say NO
if your boyfriend blows a fit then you tell him goodbye (I know you won't but it's the wise thing to do)
NEVER do anything you don't want to do especially due to peer pressure from friends of friends.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 August 2012):
 First off, SCREW what his FRIENDS want him to do.. OK repeat after me.. SCREW THEM!
They are NOT in the relationship. You and your BF are, it's ONLY been a MONTH since you started going out, that is a very short time.
If you don't think you are ready, that MEANS you are NOT ready.
Tell him straight out. No, I don't want your fingers inside of me. End of discussion. The fact that it seems to me that the ONLY reason he wants to do this is so he can BRAG to his friends. That isn't CARING about you, that is USING you.
Yes, it's WAY too soon. Sounds like your BF needs to chill. I know teenage guys are horny and all, but he needs to learn how to treat a girl with respect, because he is NOT respecting you.
YOU, honey... YOU need to learn to say no. To speak your mind. If you think he will "dump" you if you tell him no, is he really worth it then? Isn't he just "black mailing you" into doing things you aren't ready for?
Think, girl. The best way to avoid regrets in life, is to think a situation through BEFORE taking action. To some this (fingering) may not seem like a big deal, but it is to you. So you need to think and listen to your own "inner" voice. The fact that you are posting this question on here, tell me that your inner voice don't want you to do this yet. You aren't ready, and THAT is OK! You are ONLY 14. There is PLENTY of times for sex and sexual acts. When... you are good and ready.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (15 August 2012):
 Do you really want to do something with him, just so he can brag to his friend about it afterwards? This is something that is supposed to be private, and kept between you and your boyfriend. It's a decision you should make together when you're both ready. The fact that he wants to do this simply because his friend had the idea, is a really bad sign.
If you're not sure that you're ready, then you're not ready. That's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't want to do something you're not ready for yet because after you've done it you will feel horrible.
My suggestion is to flat out turn this guy down, and hold out for a guy who will be more sensitive to your needs and treat you as well as you deserve. Don't accept any less for yourself!
As for your question, there is no set time limit on when these things are "okay." That's something you decide together. However, given your age and your short length of time together... plus the fact that he's taking suggestions from his FRIEND... I don't know. Just sounds strange to me. I wouldn't do it, that's for sure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2012): dont do it... why is his friend getting involved? he should be keeping this betweeen just u 2 if its something serious.... i say wait half a month before u do anything and preferably dont do it at all! and DO NOT let any pictures be taken
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2012): Don't go any further than you have already. See each other and have fun but I would not get more intimate at this stage. You are young and I would concentrate on enjoying each others company, kissing and cuddling but hold off going any further till you are a bit older. All sorts of things come into play, contraception being the obvious issue. Most teenage boys are keen to experiment if they have a willing partner, don't feel you have to do anything until you want to.
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