A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a teenager and have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months. We recently started having sex (he isn't my first). And every time we do it, he seems to be wanting doggy style. I find it excruciatingly painful and we've talked about it several times but he insists we do it because he enjoys it. The sex is amazing but that position is just too much for me. He just keeps saying I'll learn to love it, or I'll get used it. I don't want to get used to it. It's too much for me. How do I get him to stop it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Logan58  +, writes (24 September 2009):
Hi hun, No does mean "NO!" Tell him you do not want it, and if he insists, cut him off or leave him. He shouldn't be hurting you for his own sexual desires! Sex is when BOTH the woman and man are fulfilling the desire of one another, kinda like a "give and take".... But, if he keeps on, don't even hesitate leaving his butt behind. Maybe you would find a guy who wants to make sure you feel good during sex, just like I try to with my girlfriend! :D Good luck!
A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (24 September 2009):
"No means no"
You have a right to refuse to have sex in any way for any reason. If you don't want to do it, say so and hold your ground. You shouldn't let men walk over you, I know it can be hard, but you have to be strong. If he really won't let it go, leave him.
You deserve to be respected.
If you asked him to have sex with a blender, he wouldn't do it. Just like you shouldn't be expected to do something that you don't want to or that hurts you. Your comfort and your right to choose is far more important than his desires.
Sex is a very enjoyable thing and are many positions, but not if any part of it isn't truly consensual.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2009):
You shouldn't have to get used to it if you don't want to do it! So you tell him straight that you don't want to do it because he's hurting you. If he truly respects you, he'll understand that. But if he doesn't listen, dont bother with him. find someone who will listen. You don't ever have to do something you dont want to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): You get him to stop it by leaving him. Any man that is determined to put you through a pain barrier (emotionally or physically) to fulfil his sexual desires is abusive and does not care for you as a person - just what you can give him sexually. I cannot believe you would want to feel physically hurt just to please him (unless you are into that kind of thing?). He sounds totally selfish.
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