A
male
age
51-59,
*oris Grushenko
writes:For emotional reasons, I believe it's best that I stop having sex.I'm wondering if there are any techniques that can train you to never have an erection again, like pinching your skin very hard each time you get an erection.Would there be any surgical solution for this? What is the type of operation I should ask for?Can anyone suggest some good medication?
View related questions:
erection Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boris Grushenko +, writes (5 December 2011):
Boris Grushenko is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Candid Cally,
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next thursday ... my first goal is to discuss my medication, since I believe I had my current relapse after stopping my medication.
I have been considering a therapist that specializes in sexual issues instead of (or maybe in addition to) my current therapy (I will have to leave hospital in two months or so anyway).
Apart from this issue, I think I'm as ready to face the outer world as I'm ever going to be (although that might mean not ready at all, but that's for me to find out). I will suggest what I read here. I must say that I was considering a more buddhist approach, but that's mostly because that's the only non-classical approach that I know of (and, let's face it, I haven't gotten real far with the classical therapists in this matter) ...
Do you have any experience with this form of therapy, or do you know anyone who does?
I most definately still hope I can somehow work this out. Apart from the sexual issues, I have nothing left to whish for.
I don't expect that I'll 'never' be bothered by this again, I'd be happy if things became more or less livable. I've more or less accepted it as a constant searing pain, but it would be great to avoid a next major depression.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (1 December 2011):
Thank you for taking the time to write us a response and provide more information about the nature of problem, and the difficulties you have experienced with treatments.Regarding anti-depressants: when I was 18 I was prescribed a ssri called Zoloft after years of severe depression. At the lowest dose 12.5mg my depression was greatly reduced and for the few days I was at that dose (before being titrated upwards to 25mg then 50mg) I had minimal side effects. At 25mg I lost my appetite. At 50mg I was sleeping 20 hours a day, never felt rested, I became apathetic and gained weight. I stopped taking it after 6 weeks. Some people respond better to lower than the recommended dose of anti-depressants due to variations in the genes that create hepatic enzymes. The enzymes are what allow our bodies to convert the medication to an active or more active form, AND also influence how quickly the drug leaves our bodies. These variations can and do impact a significant percentage of people because 7-10% of people from certain ethnicities either lack one or both genes primarily responsible for the first-pass metabolization of many newer psychiatric medications. Others have extra copies of the working version of this gene and metabolize certain anti-depressants into a more potent form that can induce convulsions when it builds up in the blood. Not all doctors are aware of these issues.*******************************IMPORTANT!!! :-)Medication aside, there is a form of newer therapy you may want to consider. It is called surrogate partner therapy. This therapy allows a client to address long-standing issues with emotional and physical intimacy in a trusting and safe environment. IPSA, The International Professional Surrogates Association has more information about the therapy at this web address: http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/SurrogatePartnerTherapy.htmlIf you think this type of therapy could help you address the underlying cause of your depression, I urge you to discuss it with your therapist and also contact IPSA for more information.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boris Grushenko +, writes (1 December 2011):
Boris Grushenko is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been seeing therapists of all sorts for the last 10 years. But in this matter, nothing seems to help ... I've been suffering from a severe depression for a little over a year now, spending the last 10 months in a psychiatric daycare hospital. I've lost my job, havn't spoken to a friend for half a year and my family doesn't want to have anything to do with this lunatic ...Now, what set off this last crisis? At 36 years old (2 years ago), I started my second relationship, having been single for almost 8 years. All seemed well, I believed this was a first step to recovery from my lifelong flirt with depression.Very soon, my GF started to force all kinds of kinky stories upon me. All one night stands. I've never asked for these stories, as I knew I'd be better off not knowing in the first place. She thought she had to be honest about it ...Now, I can't deal with what she did. At first, I doubted my performance (my previous GF told me I was a disaster in bed, I had to live with that feedback for 8 years). But gradually my feeelings shifted towards some kind of an emotional emptiness or rather to experiencing sex as an emotionally empty, meaningless experience.I've really been trying hard (for tow years) to live a normal life, but I can't. Each time I have sex, it causes me to relapse. My last and only option seems to rest in avoiding this trigger altogether.As for antidepressants: I've been known to suffer greatly from side-effects when using SSRI's (weight gain, sleepiness and yes, the side-effect I would like best too), to such an extent that it became even harder to function when using thes. Another type of mecication I've been using until recently, caused severe convulsions ... I guess antidepressions are not the way to go for me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (1 December 2011):
You need to speak with a psychiatrist who specializes in sexual issues. A psychiatrist can address both the emotional issues surrounding your desire to eliminate sex from your life and can prescribe medication that will diminish or eliminate your libido if it is the best treatment option for you.Medications like anti-depressants or anti-psychotics are known to diminish or completely eliminate one's libido. Other options include hormonal treatment like estrogens or testosterone suppressors/blockers. All of these medications can and do have side-effects. A psychiatrist who specializes in sexual issues would be the best medical professional to visit because they will listen to your reasons with your emotional and physical health in mind and will explain your options and provide you with the safest and most effective pharmaceutical treatment that they feel will help the most and have the most tolerable side effects.
...............................
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (1 December 2011):
Yes, it would make more sense to address your emotional issues than do something you very likely would one day regret.
...............................
A
female
reader, mammaboo  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I am sorry you feel this way. What on earth has upset you so much that you feel this way. Sex is a great healer too!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Oh dear... being celibate by choice is one thing.
Altering your body is a totally different issue.
you cannot train your body to not have erections. They occur even when you are asleep...
I cannot think of a doctor that would perform any type of surgery to prevent erections on purpose although there are men with prostate cancer who would kill to have erections again since their surgery...
drugs such as alchol and smoking will help reduce your ability to get hard but not totally remove the erections.
Personally I think you need to see a therapist to discuss your aversion to sexual activity and your body's normal behavior.
...............................
|
