A
male
age
30-35,
*ateraltwo
writes:So there's this girl I've known for six years.On and off again we've loved each other and we've "dated" a bunch of times. She lived in a completely different state than I did, so it was childish.Finally, we're in college. It's great, she moves up here thinking of starting on her career by getting a degree, and we are actually dating. It's wonderful.Christmas break comes along, and she tells me she is annoyed with me, that she doesn't want to be even near me. So I wait out the 3 weeks of break in internal agony until the day I can talk to her face to face, maybe reverse the problem and make things go on the way they had been.I have been stuck that way since and it's now been more than a month since we "broke up" and I am no closer to getting her back, and I feel sick, and depressed, and I can't stop dreaming about her.Please, someone who has gone through this:either tell me what happened with you,or tell me it gets better from here because I can't even see light at the end of this tunnel.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Lateraltwo +, writes (27 January 2011):
Lateraltwo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you all for the replies.
She is quite unreasonable, and she does have a long life of trauma, both emotional and physical.
(I was always considerate of both and made sure never to mention certain words and would only touch her intimately, never rough)
Quite frankly, she really did/does mean the world to me.
I want/ed to marry this woman because of how gun-ho and brilliant she is, but from what I can gather "move on and be brilliant" is the most appreciable answer.
I was going to give her until Valentine's Day (American Greeting card holiday, but still a good opportunity) to either come around or drop her cold.
For now, I have my intensive studies and my friends are slowly luring me back into the single life and it's social circles.
I hope, and unrealistically so, this never happens to anyone of you or anyone at all. The reality that happens afterward never lives up to the dreams.
A
male
reader, mscard +, writes (26 January 2011):
Was there a justification given for her disgust? Did she tell you that you've done something to make her so repulsed by you? If it was indeed as out of the blue as you make it seem, anon is right. Sounds like she found somebody else to have a fling with and dumped you out of nowhere so that at least she wasn't being unfaithful. If that's the case, pardon my French, but it kind of sounds like this chick is a piece of shit.
I know you've liked her for years now, but if she's out of the blue telling you she doesn't want to be near you, she's a psychopath. I mean that's not even something a sane person would do to her friend, let alone her romantic interest. If you have something to apologize for, it's a different story, but the impression I got is that it's time to move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, SALAHADDIN  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Before saying anything bro i want you to take areal close look at this proverb and try to get it throughly(A hungry dog does not get fed). My bro i really feel you and understand well your situation because i have been there once. However if you look at that from a different perspective u will realize that it is not the end of the world , life goes on anyway.now what u must do is just go on with your life and be the only controler of your life.dont sit at home twidling your thumbs like wussies.If she is not hurt by the idea of braking up with you, then you must(not it would be nice to) have dignity and put your own pride of yourself as a man first.start rebuilding your own worth let her see that she has lost something great. Take of yourself bro she does not deserve you .she is the loooooooooser.all the best====================================================================SALAHADDIN
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): It gets better indeed. There is no strategy or magic formula to get her back. The trick here is to understand that, even though you need her, staying with her would have been worse for you.Chances are that she decided to spend Christmas break with someone else and obviously doesn't want to tell you because she expects you to be available for her in case she wants to come back to you. It's just speculation, but this is the kind of things you should be expecting from a girl who changes her mind so easily, and doesn't appreciate the value of a man who has stayed by her side for six years.Seriously, if your relationship was still undefined after six years, then it wasn't leading anywhere.Recovering will take time and it will require you to revisit many of your happiest moments under the painful light of truth. Maybe in hindsight, you'll find that she wasn't the ideal girl you thought she was. Resist the will to expect her to come back to you. Those are dangerous fantasies; you don't want to fall into the same trap again.Use this time to heal yourself, protect your heart from future disappointments, learn to find happiness by yourself, and become a stronger man. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, RealGirlNextDoor  +, writes (26 January 2011):
Firstly you have to know why she's so angry and what has happened for her to take this attitude towards your relationship. Maybe your efforts haven't been enough, or maybe the problem is too big to solve. It seems a shame that you can't fix things seeing as it's taken you both so long to get to where you are. Confront her about the situation and maybe try suprising her one day at college with flowers and chocolates.. something that simple could fix everything. Girls love a good apology (as long as it's from the heart) and love when guys are sincere about how they feel. A romatic suprise and apology could go a long way!
...............................
|
