A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm very uncertain about this one particular circumstance coming up for me. Let me explain...I'm 17. I've lived abroad my entire life. I've never had sex, I've never kissed a girl. The supposed reason is this; where I live, the women have a particularly conniving stereotype. All they want is money, and so they glom onto foreigners whom can offer them this, no matter the physical attraction. They'll even have sex, get themselves pregnant with your baby, so you have no choice but to support them. That's the stereotype. As righteous as my parents are, they have not permitted me to, well, be with one of these women. And this is why I've been single. I've stayed away from relationships, enthralled myself with surfing, and just... remained romantically deprived.With that known to you, here is the current situation. We're moving to South America. The parents are traveling in a week to scope out the area and find a place to rent. I'll be home alone. There's this positively stunning girl here that I've known for a few years. We're good friends, subconsciously wanting to be more. Last time I saw her, we were all over each other (couldn't kiss her though, her sister was there. It always works against me). Now that the parents will be gone, I've considered inviting her up, and perhaps, through my convincing ways, have my way with her. Kissing would undoubtedly occur. But the question is, do I? Not only is it a question of going behind my parents back, but also a question of losing my virginity to a girl I might or might not truly like. I've always been instilled to have sex with a girl I truly care about; and I've always wanted it to be this way, because after all, the first time is the one you'll remember. But I'm a guy. My hormones are tearing away at my flesh, and lest not, I need the experience. I don't want to go to a new country, filled with positively fabulous women, with a complete lack of experience and foreign humbleness. I want confidence for when I inject myself into this new community, for when I meet new people, and for when I really do meet my first true girlfriend.So, do I betray my parents, gain a glimpse of experience, substantial confidence, and lose my virginity (which might not be memorable), so that I can be prepared to wow future partners? Or do I stay true to my parents' wishes, gain nothing, keep my virginity intact, and possess a pseudo-confidence to perpetuate the girls in my new destination?I guess when it comes down to it, the question I need answered is this; does losing your virginity with someone you haven't invested your love in, completely ruin the first experience, and vice versa? (p.s. she's absolutely smoking, and I feel a great passion for her sexually, but beyond that, I don't sense a deep pitted love.)
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confidence, kissing, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 August 2010):
Don't do it. She might get hurt, you'll feel bad. Wait for a girl you truly care about.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 If there is any chance at all that she might be serious about you or fall for you, desist.
If you're both on the same page in thinking this is a casual thing, why not?
I'd err on the side of caution, though, and wouldn't go through.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Its a bit of a moral dilemma, if you do then your just using her but if she is a stereotypical girl then she would be expecting that.
I think if your having these sorts of questions then your not ready for this, but if you do go ahead make sure you use condoms and dont take her word for it that she is on the pill or something or you may be paying even if you dont want to.
In my humble opinion it would be better to loose your vaginity with a girl whom you are in love with not just one because you want to get it out of your system.
Your still young you will meet someone oneday.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Romani +, writes (5 August 2010):
I lost my virginity to a man I was not complety on love with - although we were in a relationship . Everyone alwAys wants the first time to be memorable and romantic- personally I'm not sure how realistic that is. Think of it this way- people losing their virginity are nervous. It is so intimate that you need to be comfortable with that person- even if there is comfort , it is human nature to be nervous about sex for the first time. This is inevitable.
That said here is my opinion- if you feel ready to engage in sex and give in to your lust- you must be responsible- use protection.
Don't expect that having sex will make you a new person and help you gain a ton of confidence. you need to understand sex is a mutual pleasure and that it should be engaged in by people who respect one another. It is not some cure to better your social life or help u gain friends and their approval.
one more thing, don't say " have your way" with the girl- that doesn't sound very nice- remeber sex is MUTUAL.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): I will like to know, that kind of a girl she is.. If she is the stereortype kind girls as you mentioned in your query than i dont think its worth.. But if she is well natured and will you think she will sex with you only on the basis of affection, love and attraction, i think it works for you...
considering that the girl is also your age, try to be good friends first.. and than approach her about what you have in your mind.. this will def, work
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): SAVE YOURSELF! Trust me, I know that your a teen and you want to have sex and your hormones are going wild BUT it is so not worth it. I wish I had of waited. If you save yourself for the one you love you will mean the world to them. Hope I helped. =)
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