A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've never been on a date before, and I've never had a girlfriend. Of course that means I've never been intimate (never had first kiss or sex). I'm very awkward and I'm not very attractive aesthetically. So far no woman has been interested in going out on a date with me. I don't ask women that are too out of my league. I ask out average, geek girls and so far nobody is interested. I'm not mad about that but I would like to have my first date. I've thought about paying for just a date. Should I pay someone to go on a date with me?
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male
reader, relationshipmaster +, writes (5 September 2016):
Yes, I think you should. It will help get rid of the stigma of never having been on a date. You try it, see what it's like, and gain some confidence in that role in case you ever find yourself on a naturally occurring date. I've been in your shoes, and I waited longer.Of course, it's great to make positive changes in your life which may incidentally attract women - your level of fitness, or finding a hobby or career that you love. But I think that after a certain point in your life, you've got to admit that your relations with women are unlikely to change, because you haven't been a part of the whole dating world/game and your experiences are probably going to be incompatible with what a woman is looking for and understands.I think there's nothing wrong with paying for it. In a regular date, you pay for it one way or another, anyway - through flowers, the check for dinner, whatever, but more importantly through the time and energy you've put into it, the stress of all your prior failures or rejections...
A
male
reader, PuffinMuffin  +, writes (30 August 2016):
You're better off spending the money on joining a club.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2016): Don't waste your time or money everybody is sexy on there own way don't ever put yourself down ??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 August 2016):
 If you do it as a "personal experiment" I don't see the harm, only that you might be wasting your hard earned money on an experience that WILL give you a skewered view of women.
Someone who is there to provide a "girl-friend experience" is not a dating coach. She will not TEACH you how to ask girls out, and date girls. At least I seriously doubt they would.
A dating coach might be too expensive, but in all honesty... I think being more social, pushing yourself to MAKE new friends (regardless of gender) will help you a lot more than buying a "fake product".
YOU will STILL be you after a bought date. YOU will STILL not have the skills to ask girls out.
Why not instead find some art classes to attend ? a comic book group (yeah they exist) or one of your other hobbies? MEET people, socialize and LEARN to be comfortable around girls to an extend that you can ask one out. Or try meetup.com.
I get the whole scary thing about PoF (it has happened with other dating options too, like Craigslist and Tindr) so yes I get that. But if you JUST use a dating site/app for meeting new people for a coffee or lunch in a public place I think that could be OK. You can HONE your skills on just meeting people and who knows?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 August 2016):
My love life is exactly like yours, but I wouldn’t even consider the idea of paying some-one for a first date. How is that going to help? Quite simply, it’s not a date: it’s a contractual transaction. It won’t make you feel any better and it won’t make you any more able to attract women in the future. I think you’re missing a trick: try befriending women first. Okay, when I say I’ve never been on a date, that’s true, but I have been out with plenty of female friends. If you did the same, you’d grow in confidence around women and be much more at ease with the idea of dating when the opportunity presents itself. Eventually it will, though best not to show the lucky lady this post: no girl wants to be called average.
The most important thing is to relax and not stress about it. Just don’t think of women like they are some great mystery, but just people too. A lot of people think of every minute they’re not dating as more time just passing by, but it’s an opportunity. The wait makes you think more clearly what you want and what kind of person you need in your life. And you and I are by no means the only ones.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2016): Women find me attractive (if I ask them) but don't get it twisted, being good looking is not half as amazing as you might think. For the most part people might just stare at you and then that's pretty much it. Ever heard the expression "The pretty girl who doesn't get asked to the prom"?
Getting stared at for your looks all of your life but still being alone doesn't really help. What it honestly comes down to is your personality and your confidence. It might suck to hear it but it's the truth.
Learn to be confident in you, looks don't matter that much, because if you aren't confident in yourself women won't be confident in you either and don't be too nice women hate that, actually be a little mean to them, keeps them on their toes.
As for paying someone....maybe....it can give the opportunity to be open and honest and get as much information from her as possible about what women want. Plus it possible can aid in you being more comfortable around girls until you can stop paying.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 August 2016):
 No, because that isn't a date. That's paying someone to meaninglessly hang out with you for a few hours.
Join clubs where you could meet and share interests with other people or try online dating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2016): Find groups / clubs that specialise in your interests may they be local or further away in a different town / city . Do not pay for a date . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder , you may think your not very attractive but someone out there does . Because you dont feel good looking you could be giving off 'vibes' that knock your confidence this can be done without realising it and the woman kind of senses this and it puts her off because shes thinking your not confident with yourself. Start the day with a smile even if you dont feel like it . I got a date with a geeky guy and i felt he was out of my league . So you never know some of these women could think like me
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2016): @Honeypie
I don't really mean an escort like a service but I guess once you get to the definition, that is clear as day what it is.
I have tried online dating but no success. And now I'm slightly paranoid given the horrific news about that recent murder about the POF date.
I am working, not a great job but I am working. Thinking about going back to school to get a BA degree. I am an artist, I like to draw and paint. I love movies, video games, comic books. I have friends and do go out all the time. Never joined a group or anything like that.
As far as the outcome, I don't know. I figured maybe just any bit of experience would help me out. Even if it was fake, there was some point in saying: "yeah but it's happened before." Just some way to get that monkey off my back.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2016):
Do you mean an escort?
To me that is just not a date. That is a FAKE date with a person who will be faking interest because she is paid.
Have you tried any online dating?
Are you currently working? Do you have any hobbies? Do you have friends? Do you go out? Join group? Take evening classes?
ANYTHING? Because maybe you will have a better chance at meeting a girl who can be a suitable date/GF if you get out of the house and socialize.
I think "buying" a "date" is waste of money.
But here is my main question to you.... WHAT outcome do you expect from "buying" a date? What do you think will change if you do so?
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