A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So here goes- it may be a bit of a long one! My fiance and I are due to get married this summer. His ex g/f who he has been broken up with for nearly 10 yrs has moved back to our small town in the last few years. My fiance and her family had stayed friends, actually his best friend is her brother, and her mom runs a business right beside my boyfriends work. He also goes to see her grandma on special occasions and she has taken both my fiance and I on as grandchildren. They really are a pretty nice family.... except for the ex g/f. Lets call her S. She moved back to town after her last relationship didn't work out, quit her job and started working for her mom at the business. She is RUDE to me, and I know she wants my fiance back. When I'm not around she will stop by to see my fiance, bringing him dinner if he is working late etc. and she has befriended my mother-in-law to be, always taking her shopping and spending time at their house. For me, it's uncomfortable - because she tells everyone she is fine with us being together, even happy for us, but then to my face she is mean and spiteful, or she just ignores me all together. I know my fiance has NO feelings for her anymore at all... and he knows she just uses him when she wants something. Anyway... we are finalizing the wedding invite list, and my mother-in-law to be is really pressuring for her to be on the list. My fiance and I already talked about it, and neither of us want her there, but he's giving in to the pressure just to keep the peace. The thing is, the rest of her family is invited...so is it terrible to not include her? I know it will make me uncomfortable having her there, so what do I do?!?!Am I in the wrong? I don't know if it matters or not but my fiance and I are paying for the wedding...so it's not like it's his parents paying and they can have whoever they want?! Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Hey, bride-to-be
: )
I'm in total agreement with Auntie Tick-tick-boom.
It's yours and your fiancee`s wedding...your very big special day, neither of you want her there ~ so do yourselves a favour and have a heart to heart with those who are putting you under pressure. You don't need her to add to the butterflies that you'll more than likely be having on the day.
I sincerely hope everything goes well on the day and hope you have a very long and happy married life.
This is from us to you;
Good luck! Congratulations!
Best wishes! Cheers! Well done!
The futures full of promise and
It's only just begun.
*
You're starting on a journey
A new, exciting life
Together, as a partnership
As husband and as a wife.
*
Adventures, thrills and choices
Are waiting just for you.
The road will have some turnings
And perhaps a 'bump' or two.
*
But you’ll be strong together
And you’ll come through every test
Your love will deepen week by week
Be Happy All the best!!
BigSis xXx
(Pity I don't live in Canada...I could have done your flowers)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): your wedding should be special and if there's anything or anyone that would make it not as special as it should be then the person shouldn't be invited. by the way,you are paying!!!!!!!my goodness,have a fantastic day.you all are matured,talk 2 S and tell her you dont want her there in the nicest way possible,she'd understand.but from what you've writen she sounds like someone that would attend the wedding whether or whether not she is invited. happy married life girl! God bless(you'd receive a blessing today, i promise you and feel free to tell me you got your blessing,k? take care
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A
male
reader, scottishguy +, writes (12 April 2008):
short and sweet. its your day dont give her the oppertunity to make a mess of it. dont invite her.. your family should take your side.
have a great wedding :D
good luck
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A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Oh now that is tough. she sounds like a right bissim!
I totally think you are the one who should be allowed happyness on your big day. I mean its your frickin wedding!
I understand there is alot of pressure and well, awkwardness that surrounds this woman.
Its clear that S stands no chance with your hubby-to-be but creeping in with the family...pfft.
Look, You have the right to invite whoever you want to your wedding. Prehaps you could talk it over with her and just confront her say "look, i dont want you at my wedding because i dont like you/i dont like the way you..." something along those lines.
Be totaly honest with her you have nothing to lose. infact she might even appreciate it and well, who knows...
If not discuss her with you inlaws or even her family?
Well Good luck and have a fantabulous wedding! X
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