A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I feel so pathetic coming to a website to blab about my life’s miseries to millions of strangers, but I made this account and I might as well go on with it. Well it all started last year in my Math class. I had this male teacher who was a tad older than I was. At first I wanted nothing to do with him. I thought he was weird and that he didn’t deserve my respect or trust. But in fact when I started to get to know him better I realized that he was the exact opposite of my original thought. He is the definition of brilliance and for once I’ve met someone to keep my brain functioning. He had these incredible questions about the world that manage to stump me! I’ve never been so fascinated with a man before. My interest in his discussions, made him more open with me. This is when he decided to tell me about his past. He told me that he had a wife who left him and left him emotionally shattered. I pitied him. I think he liked the attention i gave him and my general understanding for his circumstances. So, Instead of teaching his class a lesson he’d sit with me and start talking to us about boxes! Now you’re probably thinking that anybody who could compare school to a cardboard box has to be mental, but he’s not! If only you could hear him explain it. Just as the two of us started to get honest with each other, school ended. Over the break my fondness for him grew into a sort of obsession. I dreamt of seeing him again and longed for another one of our intellectual conversations. So a week before school started I purposely made sure that he was my math teacher for my junior year. So we started off this year taking off right where we left. It was like the summer never happened! It was just he and I. Our little quiet friendship turned into common knowledge around campus. I was Mr. So-and-so’s best friend and he “adored” me! I wouldn’t admit to my friends that I was purposely coming into to school early and staying late just so I could sit and talk to him, but I was. But it's not like i was the only one making advances towards him. My teacher was also doing things to make us closer. He started walking me to some of my classes and staying around certain hallways to “accidentally” run into me, and I did the same. All this would have been fine, but just the other day he told me something. He said, “I like you…I love.” I wanted to kiss him and hug him, but i couldn't. Unfortunately we both are cowards. It is beyond obvious to everyone around us that we both love each other but neither of us is wiling to jump in first. So what do I do? Not only is he a hell of a lot older than I am, but my friends and family can’t stand him. My brain wants me to stick with my family's intuitions and blow off this teacher who the rest of the world sees as “dangerous”. But my heart tells me to get into a relationship. If we both love each other than why wouldn't we...right? I’ve never been so happy and this man actually makes me feel safe. I’ve had abusive boyfriends my own age and not to many people truly understand me. Now I’ve found a man who I actually feel safe with, someone who loves me for me. I want to be with him forever and he feels the same way, I think. So what do I do?
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best friend, my teacher Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxhoplesslyhisxx  +, writes (6 November 2008):
yea i understand. i think that ur parents will want you to be happy and i dnt think u shuld believe that they will ignore you if your with this guy
A
male
reader, goldarrow +, writes (5 November 2008):
 lol...at the end of the day your their daughter...confront them about it. let them know you like him and that it's your decision and at the end of the day your old enough to make your own decisions. love is the important thing. just dont let his work know because ...well just look at my past comment. lots of luck!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn a way it does. I think that by me being with this guy, my parents (especially my father) would ignore me. I feel like i'd be the outcast. Which I don't really mind but everybody want's to see there family sometimes.
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A
female
reader, xxhoplesslyhisxx +, writes (4 November 2008):
hmmm well maybe you should wait until you are 18 therefore you can legally date him and you are free from your parents. unless if your parents opinion matters to you on who you date. does it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friends and family don't like him, because he's older and honestly nothing like any person we've encountered especially in this little isolated city we live in.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Go ahead...you can keep him company in the unemployment line.
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A
male
reader, goldarrow +, writes (4 November 2008):
you should wait till after school. he can be sacked from his job for affairs with students. you should keep close and not loose that. it's not what your family think it's what you truly believe.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (4 November 2008):
 I advise waiting until you're at least 18, or better yet, not a student at the school where he teaches anymore. It sounds like you two have honest feelings for each other, but I think part of the reason why you like him is because he's a good guy--he's not going to make a pass at a student. He respects you, respects boundaries, respects that you need more time before you'd be able to have the type of relationship he needs.
Just keep waiting until the time is right. If he really does have feelings for you, he's not going to run off with someone in the mean time--you really have no need to rush things.
I definitely understand your situation (I also have a teacher I'm close with, not in a 'crush' situation though), and I know how much he means to you. Giving more time for the two of you to build a strong friendship sounds like the best way to handle your situation. Let your feelings settle over time. Don't do anything hastily that may risk your friendship, which is much more important than any romantic relationship. You value him as a person, so just enjoy him, whether you're romantically involved or unromantically involved.
Best of luck!! Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone more. Let us know how things turn out!
-Nicole.
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A
female
reader, xxhoplesslyhisxx +, writes (4 November 2008):
ohh wow this is a heavy situation. well i think that you should wait until after high school (if thats the grade level you are still in) and then make your decision. Why exactly do you friends and family dont like him? keep this in mind good luck all the best =)
sryy if im not that much of a help
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