A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have ROM in Jan 2008 but have yet to have wedding dinner due to the death of my dad. Recently my wife was pregnant and she don't know if we should keep the baby as she is afraid that her dad will be very furious as we have yet to have the wedding dinner. I really want to keep the baby. but she think we should abort. Please advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): I'm very strongly pro-choice in general, but this one really bothers me. A (child/fetus/whatever) should not be saved or killed based on the inconvenience of scheduling a wedding.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for all the advice. ROM stands for Registry of Marriage. We have talk to my family and they are quite supportive and told us to keep. But we have yet to talk to her family as her dad have heart problem and we scared he might not be able to take it.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 Under these circumstances, I think that your wife might have serious regrets if she aborts the baby, at some point in the future, possibly when she gives birth to your firstborn. You may have a few problems with timing, but a baby is usually a welcomed blessing in a marriage, especially if you and your family recently lost your father. I'm sure that her Dad would come to see this as a blessing. The other Aunts offered you great advice, especially oikid 11 (who is very useful with her answer!). My position on abortion is that it should be between a woman and her doctor, but I'm afraid that your wife might not be thinking this through thoroughly. Most wedding celebrations are in anticipation of just such a blessed event as a baby, even one who's timing is inconvenient. I really worry that she would regret any rash action. Have you considered discussing this together with BOTH of your families?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (31 August 2008):
Well you have 9 months to have the wedding dinner. Surely that is plenty of time.
Perhaps she just feels she is too young and wants to live a little more before becoming a mother.
Talk to her and find out what she is scared of.
You could always keep the baby a secret and have the wedding dinner... then tell her family after that. I am sure her father won't be counting the months when his married daughter announces he is going to have a grandchild.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): There may be some cultural issues here, but I would hardly have thought that missing a meal, or not yet having had one, is sufficient grounds for an abortion!
I sit on the fence where abortion is concerned but if this is the only reason she's giving you that she wants to abort, I think I'd look at other things going wrong in the marriage to see if maybe the missing the meal thing is just a smokescreen for deeper issues.
What's ROM? (apart from 'read only memory').
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A
female
reader, oikid11  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I know I'm not useful, but just keep the baby. You said the dinner was post poned, right? Well, well, not your fault he died, and maybe you're going to name the baby after your father...
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