A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am indian. I marry my wife 3 years back. She is working in a multinational company for about 2 years. We have one child. One day she has gone out for a office trip for about 2 weeks. Later i come to know from her one of frieds that it was not an office tour. They are having an affair and they were out of city and living in a hotel for 2 weeks. I asked my wife about that and she told it was true. They were in a hotel and having sex. Then she tells that it was a mistake and that she would never do this again. But about 6 month later i come to know that she is continuing the relationship. I asked her about it. She told that she will never end the affair. At first i thought about divorce. But thinking about the age and future of our child i made the decission not to divorce her. On the other hand we were from a very prestigious family. We have on history of divorcing our wives. If i divorce her it will be very harmful for the family. So i request her to end the relation. But she told that she loves her and never end affair. He i had a problem i can divorce her.They were going different hotel in the city to enjoy sex. I was afraid if any of my relatives see this that will be very troublesome. So i asked her not to go hotel for sex. She can bring him to our house and have sex. After getting my permission they are coming to our house and having sex in our bedroom almost every day. Sometimes he stay in our house at night. I am helpless. Please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Do us a favour and divorce her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): Get a divorce. Replace her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): You should divorce your wife. She doesn't respect you. And also, its better than not having a mother around than watching her on a bed with another man. It'll effect their lives in the future. If no one has ever divorced in your family must be because their wives or husband don't have sex with someone else in their on bedroom. You should get a divorce because its a shame. I apologize if its harsh but it is shameful in a marriage. And why don't they have sex at his house? Its really not normal. GET A DIVORCE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): It's more harmful for your child to see his or her mother with another man. There will be lots of questions from your child about who the man is and why he is at your house.
Staying married to protect your child is not a reasonable choice since you gave your wife permission to have sex with a man in your house in your bed.
You need to divorce her. She does not care how you feel, and she is not considering the harm that could come to her child! Yes, it is bad for your family to divorce, but her cheating is even worse for your family.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 You mean to tell me that you don't want your/her family to see her with another guy, but you feel ok with having your child see his/her mother with someone other than its father??
I totally agree with the last paragraph Jonas said, about seeing if the guy is two-timing your wife. If she sees that, she'll definitely end the relationship. You have to do something other than just sitting around and listening to the two of them having sex in your own home.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (11 June 2011):
only three years in marriage and she is alrwady cheating?
i think that you had an arranged marriage with this girl and she has never loved you
i say prove her cheating officially so the divorce wont affect your reputation and divorce her because she doesnt seem want to stop
and you being presigious means that you have big chances with better women
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): They have your permission to use the house for sex...not really sure what advice you are looking for. You don't want to divorce, the wife refuses to stop having sex and now is having sex under your own roof with your permission. This story simply doesnt add up. You dont want your "reputation" damaged to all looking from the outside, but inside your reputation is trash even less than that.
Get a divorce, you dont have a marriage, you dont have a wife who respects you and nothing you can do will change that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): I know that this is a very difficult one as you don't want to bring shame on the family, but your wife is doing so already.
Could you get one or more of your family members to move in, so that the women could look after your child and everyone could shame your wife into giving up the man?
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A
male
reader, Tbonex +, writes (11 June 2011):
 WTF? You are a man being disrespected in his own home. You married this woman because you loved her? You say you're Indian and I don't know your complete beliefs but she is doing you wrong. You also let her do that and she is in your house. She does not love you and that man is disrespectful as well. Honestly, where I come from, that man would have been so afraid of me that he would never ever come mess with my woman again. As for my woman, I would leave her and keep the child. She is not fit. She doesn't follow the rules. She is obviously illegal. Stand up for your rights, she is a bad lover, and a bad mother. She has crossed the line and lied to you before as well. You're not helpless like you think. Do you feel you need her to take care of the child? You need to divorce her for your sanity and take your child. Your family would be better off without her. I hope you make the right decision.
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