A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guys i don't know what to do. I know this will probably sound stupid but i'm really upset and confused. My sister and i got into an argument while mixing formula for our baby god-brother, who is staying with us for a little bit. She said she felt bad for my feature children and it made me feel like a bad caretaker. Now i'm thinking of giving up ever being a mother. That is one of my biggest dreams but i don't feel that i could be a very good one right now after that. Am i just thinking crazy because i'm upset or what? I don't know what to do or think. I'm so lost and so hurt. Please help me sort this out. I want kids of my own one day really badly and don't want to give it up, but i feel like a bad caregiver. I love kids. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): You will probably be a wonderful mother, because you are already thinking that you don't want to be a terrible one.
If you have children, you will be surprised how much you can love them, how many mistakes you will make, and how much you can screw up and still do well with love and kindness and patience.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I guess i took it so hard because she has said it before. She and my parents have a thing for ragging on me about not knowing how to cook, and she has told me that during on of those fights between me and her. You have to understand my dad left when i was little so i lived with my mom and grandmother. When i was 7/8 my stepdad came into the pic. No one ever taught me to cook and automatically thinks that i don't want to learn how, and since i don't know how to (or supposedly want to learn how) it would be one more thing bad for me as a mother. Thank you for you help and wonderful comments. They help me feel better and think less of what she said.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): Yeah I think you really took that to heart and as a result are a little too upset. The comment was def hurtful and def not worth the energy or attention youre givin' it. Seems like you have a strong desire and hopefully that has built confidence for you to become a good mother some day.
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A
female
reader, annakat +, writes (22 December 2010):
 I'm sure you'll be a great mom someday. My friends tell me that a lot too, despite the fact that I also love children and would love to have a family. People see one bad situation (or even sometimes a few) and they overreact and pass judgment over it. Just ignore her and remember that no matter what anyone says, you are a good caretaker and will be a very loving mother.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Rather mean of your sister, but you're sort of over-reacting too. One incident doesn't mean anything. If you genuinely care for kids that's what's most important.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Yes, you're thinking crazy because you're upset.
Parenting isn't something that comes without practice. Every parent screws up. That was just mean of your sister to say, but it was said out of anger. Things we say out of anger are often untrue and said for the sole purpose of knowing they will hurt he person we're targeting.
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make a great mom someday!
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