A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! My sister is dating this guy and he doesn't seem right for her at all. What should I do? Should I tell her or shut up and pretend to be happy for her? The absolutely biggest reason that I can point out is that she really wants kids and pretty soon too (she's 32) and he doesn't. Ever. On this matter she just says she can persuade him eventually. But I don't think so. I mean, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. Also there are issues with money. She has money which she wants to share with him buying a house for them. And he has money (not really as much) which he doesn't want to share at all. What should I do? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Telling her would only be opening a whole can of worms. She is blinded by love and until she realizes that she deserves better, she's still going to be with him. While it hurts and is frustrating to see this happening to her, it is best to keep your opinions to yourself right now. She'll come crying to you when she finally sees the light.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I would tell her IF she asked what you thought about the guy. Otherwise... it's her life, her mistakes.
You may be sisters but that doesn't always mean you have the same taste in men.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 May 2010):
Just be there with the box of tissues. This is going to go wrong. He wont' change his mind about children, and you can be sure that she will probably lose her money in this mess. But she has to make her own mistake. There is no way she will listen, so just be there for when it goes wrong.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I am sorry to say it this way, but this is your sister's business.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Yup, you can tell her that you don't think he is right for her, but it could alienate your relationship. If you do tell her, don't press the issue. Let her know that you will always be there for her, but that you don't agree with this situation. LazyGuy is right about people in love digging in rather than listening.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Simple answer: Would you listen if the roles were reversed?
Just tell her plain and simple what you think about it all and leave it at that. Don't become judgemental or try to save her from herself. That rarely works.
How far you can go depends on your relationship but people in love tend to dig themselves in when they face opposition.
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