A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently started talking to a guy i used to go to school with and we been flirting and sex-txting back and forth. He says he really likes me but however he lives quite a bit away. We have talked about meeting up again and seeing how we get on but he has made it clear he wants to go out and have sex with girls until we meet which i can understand we're not together and he says it is just sex. i am trying not to let this get to me but i dont really have the same intentions of going out looking for just sex with some random guy. i dont know whether to say this to him or to leave things as they are until we meet and see how we get on and take things from there, i feel it a bit much asking him not to sleep with over girls if we not even together and just having some flirty fun
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (17 September 2011):
 I think you can do without someone like this in your life, you sounds like someone looking for a relationship - this guy isn't ready isn't looking for a relationship.He's been honest - good thing, as now you know the fact that to meet him, would be a bad move on your part.Different people have different boundaries, typically i would say when dating it's ok to date other people (date, not have sex with, not sleep with) in a way I think your dating, although via a phone, and you have been intimate with each other.I think as another poster said - if you were seeing him on a traditional dating basis you would kick him to the curb.If you do go and see him, how are you going to feel about him having had sex with other women - knowing he's sex texting you, and if you see him I can almost guarantee he will expect to have sex with you. Then your go back home, and your not know if he's still having sex with other women, it will always play on your mind. However if all you want is a casual fling then no harm, but I warn you casual flings can really play with a girls head who wants a proper relationship.Good luck in your decisionKitties
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 September 2011):
 His declaration is not a demonstration of integrity, but a display of his vulgarity and proof of just how unconcerned he is with offending you.
To this sort of person honesty is not a means of building trust, but of triggering insecurity in others. He's letting you know that he hasn't invested much in you and that you'll have competition. It is also a test to see how much you'll put up with. To stick around is to fail that test.
It is reasonable not to expect exclusivity from someone you're not in a relationship with, but for him to blatantly announce intent to hop into bed with others is going to the other extreme. Can you see yourself saying this to a man you're starting to date and hoping to impress?
This guy isn't worth keeping in touch with let alone meeting. You can do without this kind of 'friend'.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (17 September 2011):
Well he has been honest with you at least!! (And yeah he is single at the moment, so he can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants I suppose...'
But is this the kind of guy (obsessed with 'going out and meeting girls for sex') what you really want??
Maybe he is just 'fore warning you' what he is after??
If you meet up with him, and you decide to give it a go, you need to make it crystal clear it is 'exclusive'!! (Oh and maybe get yourself/him checked out before you do anything sexual (as he seems to have been a bit of a player in the past!)
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 September 2011):
 This means that if you two do meet up, he intends to use you for sex. Think about it -- would you ever in real life start a relationship with a guy who then informs you that until you "give in", he's going to get his rocks off with other women and that it's "just sex"??
No! You'd kick him to the curb is what you'd do. Face it -- a guy who is really into you wouldn't WANT to have sex with someone else. You've been in love before...to someone who is really into someone else, that's their only appetite. Other women would be ininteresting next to this beautiful person they're pursuing.
But this guy is a player. He is skirt chasing, and you are yet another skirt. What happens AFTER you meet up? Think about it. He'll make the same excuse since you're long distance to him that he'll still have to go out and have sex with other women because you're not around.
This isn't the guy for you. He's a player. An honest player, but you do not want a manwhore who uses women for sex, including you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 September 2011):
Seems like a bit of a creep to me. "I'll have sex with other girls until we meet" - which is subtext for "I'll have sex with girls, then you, then other girls".
You can do a lot better than someone like this. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't care about you as a person. He's just after getting notches on a bedpost again, and again.
I don't see anything here other than a guy playing you and sleeping around.
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