A
female
age
41-50,
*imbosucks
writes:I've been physically separated from H for 8 months now,10 months in total including in-house separation. Been married for 14 years, I'm currently living with my 2 sons.The separation resulted from H's emotional infidelity, 4 emotional affairs I know of for the duration of our marriage. The last one lasted for a longer period of about 1.5 years. I am not 100% sure though if they are no longer in contact since we now live separately.Even though he insists that the last EA was never physical, I highly suspect there is a that possibility considering its duration, not that it matters anyway. To me the EA is just as damaging as a PA. A lot has happened since the separation. H decided to go all out and make me the most evil person he has ever lived with, in a bid to justify his actions. He said things that would make me look like a really bad person to my family and his family as well. He twisted facts just to make me look bad. This he did after I had told him I want out of the marriage, after the discovery of the last EA and his refusal to MC.I must say that I find it hard to understand why someone would go to that extent to make thier spouse the devil while at the same time declaring to love them very much and can't live without them.In addition to this, in January when I told him for the first time that I want out of the marriage, he threatened to kill himself, said he would not live without me and that he vowed that till death do us part, so he might as well die.Fast forward to last month, May, I again reaffirmed my decision to move on, told him I will never be able to live under the same roof with him after all that has happened. He sent our 13 year old son a strange text when he got to his residence and told him to call him the next morning and if he doesn't respond to call his brother. My son panicked, told me the text is confusing him. I sent text back to him and told him to think about his kids because they need him in thier lives. I also informed his brother of the strange text.Next morning he was not well, went to the doctor and he was hospitalised for 3 days. The doc also referred him to a pyschologist, he had several sessions while stil hospitalised.I went to check on him and he told me the doc told him he had blocked artery that could have led to a stroke, even though the test results did not confirm this, results confirmed something different(to do with the chest).To cut the long story short, my problem right now is that I don't know how to proceed now with the discussions given that he keeps on saying he is still recovering from his sickness. I'm afraid he might get sick again if we resume the talks about ending the marriage and something worse may happen to him. Basically, I'm in limbo. I feel stuck in this situation. What do I do in such a situation? Please advice. Thanks in advance for reading my long post and for your responses.
View related questions:
affair, divorce, infidelity, move on, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, limbosucks +, writes (30 June 2012):
limbosucks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much to all the aunties for taking your time to offer such valuable perspectives. I agree I have to end this limbo once and for all and stopthe manipulation once and for all.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (28 June 2012):
on reading the first 1 or 2 sentences I was ready to say ''you should discuss it with him'' however after reading all the details of the nasty ways he has behaved I would say full steam ahead. perhaps his last mistress can handle his crap now. seriously, you need to get this toxic person out of your life asap and by halting divorce proceedings you might be giving him false hope of reconciliation and also it would be upsetting psychologically for your kids, being in a kind of limbo. you are a caring considerate person OP, it is obvious from your question as many women would not even consider what you are thinking about. but I think for all your sakes you need to keep going with this, it will bring some closure for you all and you desserve peace and a happier life. you put up with him for long enough. good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (28 June 2012):
I totally agree with AuntyEm. You need to complete this divorce process. Let his mistress deal with his issues. As far as the kids, u need full custody. Don't be manipulated for the rest of ur life. He is not sorry. He is upset he cannot have u and his cake. Don't be deceived any longer, u know his trademark lies and tactics.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Id be vary wary of a man who has threatened suicide in the past to make you stay.
Now he has developed a possible life threatening illness?
Did you speak to the doctor personally? Have you seen medical reports? or do you just have your husbands word?
Your husband has displayed underhanded and desperate behaviour since you asked to leave, he has dragged your name through the mud and scared your children and now CONVIENIENTLY he has a supposed timebomb in his chest that will go off if you divorce him???
What do you do?
You divorce him. I assume he has family?, let them take care of him, your marriage is over and he cannot hold you emotional hostage for the rest of your life!!!
The fact he was referred for pshycological examination suggests he has a mental health problem and may be unstable.
Personally I would not believe a single word that came out of his mouth...I'd want hard evidence.
He has already demonised you to his family so you may as well use that to your advantage and finish the deal.
If he had a clot that was that dangerous he'd be in hospital now and even if he was that ill, it's no longer your responsibility.
You are being fooled my dear, start your divorce proceeding today!
...............................
|
