A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here goes,I think that my best friend is in love with me. Today, she posted something on my facebook wall and it just did it. We are both female, I'm 19 and she is 20.We both used to be really close friends, until she moved about 400 miles away to spend time with her mom because she was really sick. I was heartbroken to have lost my best friend, but moved on with my life. She has had a string of unsuccessful relationships with both men and women, whereas I have always stayed single.She comes up from where she lives and spends ridiculous amounts on plane tickets just to come and see me. She tells people it's to see her dad when in reality, she hates her dad. When she comes, she stays with me in my apartment and hardly sees her family because she would rather be here with me. She always does sweet things for me when she comes to visit like runs me baths for when I get home from work and cleans the house even though I tell her not to, but I just thought it was her being nice. But one night when we were sitting discussing, she said "look at both of us, no wonder people always think we're a gay couple!". For the record, no one has said they think we are a gay couple. This is not the first time she has said this. She then recalled a lesbian experience I had with one of our other mutual friends, and said "if theres anyone you should have had a gay experience with, it's me". This is not the first time this has been said either.When she comes to stay with me, she will insist on sleeping in the same bed as me, but during the night she spoons me and this makes me really uncomfortable. I wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bed if she didn't insist on touching me all the time. When we had gone to bed that night, she just wouldnt drop the subject of sex. I was exhausted and was trying to tail the conversation off, but she kept going. Then, she said "I don't know about you but all this sex talk is making me really aroused". I was freaked out, I laughed it off and went to sleep.When she left to go home, I left her a message saying I missed her already and I looked forward to her coming back. She replied with something to the effect of pining for me and being pseudo-lesbians.This stuff all happened during her recent 3-day trip here, where she has also asked me if I was gay, and tried to convince me that I was gay.I just don't know what to do. I definitely don't feel the same and I just want things to go back to the way they were when we were at school and none of this stuff ever happened. What will I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): I'm in a really similar situation, except my best friend already told me that she's in love with me. She's definately a lesbian, but we're only 16 so I thought that it must just be a crush because she doesn't know any other lesbians... like, I'm just the best thing around and the feelings would go away when she met someone suitable.
I gave her the talk about how I'm straight,and it's been about 3 weeks now since it happened. BUT she's always posting things on her blog about how depressed she is, how much she loves me. Recently, she's also started self harming because I told her that it won't ever happen. Usually when one of my friends is sad like this I comfort them, but I think making her feel more intimate with me is a bad thing for her, she needs to get over me.
A
female
reader, la negra  +, writes (28 April 2011):
"When she left to go home, I left her a message saying I missed her already and I looked forward to her coming back." I think that was the lead on for her to keep giving you sexual advances. I mean you don't want to push a friend away but once they have those sexual feelings towards you, it is almost impossible to stop having them. In my situation with my guy friend, he continues to talk of sex with me. Whenever I'm over, he asks me for a massage and just today he tells me he wishes I were single so he could give me a massage and I could do the same. He puts his head in my lap when we are watching tv and gets touchy feely when I'm around and it just makes it awkward. Try not to feed into giving her mixed messages because what you said in that message would throw anybody off. I know you want to be nice bc she's your friend but in this situation, you must be firm and strict if you choose to keep her in your life.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Just be honest with her. Tell her you love as a friend and care about her, but that all her lesbian talk is freaking you out. Make it clear that you have no desire to have sex with her, despite what you may have done with that other friend in the past. If that doesn't work maybe you could show her this post....
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 April 2011):
 You're going to have to be honest at some point. It's going to hurt her, but unless you think you might be interested, it's really not fair to her when she's making her feelings for you so obvious.
I guess there's the option of trying to find a boyfriend as well. That may deter her some, but that's not for certain.
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