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age
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*iss gigi
writes:My problem is my husband's family! We unfortunately moved on to property 10 years ago that his dad gave HIM and we placed our home there. The remaining acerage is to go to HIM when his dad dies. The one acre our home is on is ours together due to morgage papers.His family is horrible and his dad still plays his trump card when he makes decisions about the remaining acres due to his still being the owner. My husband let me know a few months ago that his dad had decided to put a family cemetary in front of OUR house in a big pasture! Then he told me that it was his decision, without any one caring to include my opinion, I wasn't asked at all! They knew I would be against it! We are surrounded by his family, even his sister is out there and she hates me too and is very ugly to me. I have been cussed by her and the dad and my husband never stands up for me, never says a word to them! When I have been around them, they are nice but I know that they talk badly about me behind my back. I have told my husband I hate living out there and I would like to sell the house and move away from them or go crazy. In the afternoons, I can see his parents and his sister sitting out in their yard with their chairs facing our house, watching us when we are outside.Usually my husband stops by his parents house everyday after work to check in with them! He is 36 years old! They know our every move and will even call us to ask why we did not go to work, for whatever reason. And he trys to tell me that they do not watch us!! He would rather be sidways with me than to ever say anything to upset them, that is the main reason he would not consider moving because they would be mad and make a BIG deal about it.We have considered divorcing on numerous occasions. His mother told him we would never get along no matter where we lived because we are not compatable and he repeated it to me like it was fact! I am so sick of the whole mess! They all act like I am impossible. My husband told me to ignore them and just stay away from them. How is that possible when I live in a fishbowl? As long as his world can go on and he doesn't have to make any changes, he is happy and thinks I should be too. He also says, if I can't take it, maybe I should move. Of course that is without him, he says he will not leave the property. I think he doesn't love me or how could he say things like that and expect me to just keep hanging on in a living HELL?? I have tried to take the high road and not approach them but I can still see them and they can see me! It is creepy just knowing they are watching us all the time. Is there any chance that my husband will ever see what I am talking about???? P.S. His dad and his sister snuck over to my front pasture the other day while I was at WORK and put down the posts to mark the corners of the cemetary, obviously they knew I would be angry when they did it. How low can they go??
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): How low can they go? Do you honestly want to find out. This sounds like my boyfriends mom to the tee! If they are anything like her, they can go much lower! The high road wont work, the low road wont work, the only road thats gonna work is the road OUT!
Auntie E is right. The problem is him. he needs to grow a pair. Those people sound like demented sickos based on your update. I would laugh whener they add a new body to the graveyard, but thats the low road. Just do that in your head.
Seriously though, this is never gonna work. A tool like your husband will never stand up to his family. The reality is that he must be placing you on the back burner for his family. Who wants to degrade themselves to live in a fishbowl? You could clearly do better.
Leave him and be sure to tell him why. You've put in more than enough effort. Time to put some effort into yourself and move on!
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female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (9 April 2010):
 Tisha-1 is hilarious however I don't think you are up to topless yoga. Look Honey - you married a weak momma's boy with a nasty-ass family. They've already got your number and know it - why do you think they do what they do? Yeah that's right - b/c it makes you crazy and they know it and they LOVE to see your reaction. This will not change EVER! Cut your losses and get the fuck outta there. Not kidding. This situation will not go away (well unless you become homicidal-you don't want that!) In time your ex-husband will pick another hapless female and allow his family to torment her as well. You are not going to win. Run don't walk to the nearest exit now!
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reader, miss gigi +, writes (8 April 2010):
miss gigi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy husband and I have a 17 year age difference and from the begining his mother and his sister have caused trouble, i.e.....when we first married they each called my mother and father and started ripping me to shreds..you have to remember they had never even met my parents! So I have never trusted them. I am very easy going and have always been friendly and talkative with them.. they never apologized for the phone calls. On occasion I have spoken up against his sister and to his dad when my husband would not say a word! We try and attend church and when they know we have been, they make fun of it to our faces. My mil laughed when she heard her mom broke her hip, they don't speak..wonder why? She laughed when her sister's husband died of a stroke..they are crazy people. And yes, I believe the cemetary is legal but asking for my input would have been nice. They don't care what I think, as long as they want to do it, it should be ok. I really have tried. He wants me to spend every Sat or Sun with them at the river, just sitting and watching them drink beer and rip people to shreds! I have NO respect for them at all.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 April 2010):
 I think you know that your husband is completely tied to his family, and is not going to stand up for you.
If you don't like being watched in your yard, take up nude yoga out there. Get all new agey. I'm serious. His mother will not tolerate his father watching you and everyone will be yanked inside so quick, you'll have the yard all to yourself. Play weird music with the speakers pointed their way, as you sit and meditate. I'm assuming they are your only neighbors and no one else can see you? Then go for it. Maybe just topless yoga if nude is too much. Keep in mind on beaches in Europe and all over the world, topless sunbathing is considered completely normal.
If they question you about this, just tell it's part of your personal spiritual development and that you are hoping to communicate with the dead. That you'll feel very very close to them if there is a cemetary there. Maybe start doing some voodoo type stuff, leaving little odd things on the edges of the property. Candles and little prayers for the repose of bodies that have been relocated.
You have to do this with a straight face and do not flinch at their staring. They stare enough, you're used to it, right? Give them something really really strange to stare at. Basically, you have to convince them that you are crazier than they are.
Personally, I'd be out of there, but first, I'd make them think about how intrusive and odd their behavior is.
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reader, Plexi  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 They are trying to push you out by putting up the cemetery..........its really immature and low of them but in all honesty, it's their land they can do whatever they want on it...........you can try and call the city and see if that is permitted in that area but you can not stop them otherwise.
your best bet is to listen to your husband and just ignore them or if you think you really can't live your life like this then do what's best for YOU..........why is it that they don't like you?( in their opinion of course)...........are they afraid you are after their money? is it something more specific like your personality or upbringing?.......it would help if a bit of insight from the other side was available as well:)
you say that they are always watching you........are their lives soooo empty that they have nothing better to do then to snoop on you? are they controlling because they don't trust you? have you given them reason for this? is there any way you just worry that you are being watched because you are a very private person and any sort of radar signal you interpret as spying on you?
The best thing you can do is be the best wife you can to your husband, love him, show his family the respect they deserve and just live the right way. You can not make your husband choose between you and his family, that is not fair-they are his blood, you are his wife, he feels torn and just as upset as you do i'm sure.
Try this gesture of peace............invite them all over for dinner , be a good hostess, have a lovely time, talk about plans of the future you and your husband have and if the conversation about the cemetery comes up, smile and ask if there is anything you can do to help out with( this will shock them and make them realize their plan to push you out hasn't worked:)
Hang in there hun............things always turn out in the end
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reader, Auntie E +, writes (8 April 2010):
One more thing - your problem is not you're husband's family - IT'S HIM!
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reader, Auntie E +, writes (8 April 2010):
here is your question: Is there any chance that my husband will ever see what I am talking about???? THE ANSWER IS NO - HE WILL NOT. I have some questions for you:
How old are you?
He is 36 - right?
Do you have any kids? (IMPORTANT)
How long have you been married?
If you don't want to answer these questions for everyone to see you can private message me in my mailbox on this site. I think I have your answer(s)but I need to be sure about some other things first. Ok?
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reader, ffogalilly +, writes (8 April 2010):
I would go see a lawyer and find out if they can really put in a cemetery.
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