A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well im 21 years old,and my wife is 19.we became parents at an early age.i was 18 and she was 16.ive been married for a year but dating for about 5 years.we have a 2 year old and we have a baby on the way.we really dont have sex and were constantly arguing.she doesnt let me talk with any of my friends.and shes jealous and insecure most of time,for example,checking my phone and my emails.there is also a female that she doesnt know about.ive never cheated on my wife,and im not planning on it,but the other girl is a close friend.all the arguing and jealousy is making me not want to be with my wife anymore.this other girl is alot of what i want in a female,my wife was all that and more but not right now.ive asked her to change her ways but she wont,im confused,what should i do?
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cheated on my wife, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (5 November 2008):
 I give up? Were part of your Wedding Vows - "and have another female that she doesn't know about for when times get tough." ? Why do you THINK that she is cranky all the time? SHE KNOWS! AND She is pregnant!! While taking care of a toddler!!! And all you seem to be doing is complaining and skirting around!!! Excuse me, Mister? Are you or are you not her husband??? Cause you sure aren't acting like it.
Stop giving her a reason to complain. You are a husband and a father now. Act like one! It's the single biggest gift that you could give her. Husbands do not have girl "friends" that do not know their wife! If you do HAVE a "friend" who is a girl, she had better be someone that you could plan on taking home for a family dinner, and NOT just *someone* who is your "backup plan". Sheesh!
Grow up and be a man.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Firat of all you should not turn to another woman for comfort. Your wife is going thru alot of hormonal changes right now and she could be acting more jealous and such out of the mood swings involved with these changes. Be supportive and show her that she is loved and that you are there for her.
Having a toddler in the house can certainly keep you on your toes and she is probably worn out just taking care of the little one not to mention the baby she is carrying. It puts stress on a woman's body when she is pregnant. Quite often they don't get enough sleep and sometimes they feel out of sorts. After all they have a great big bulging belly and they don't exactally look like they did before getting pregnant. Alot of times they feel just plain ugly and feel like you just couldn't love them looking like this. The fact is that a man in love usually see's his pregnant wife as the most beautiful creature he ever laid eyes on.
Put your feelings aside and try to give her some undertanding. Give her as much help with the house and toddler as you can so she can get the proper rest and be sure that she is eating well. Lots of rest, proper nutrition and exercise can help to lessen the mood swings. Giving her love and being patient and accepting can help to assure her that you love her no matter what.
Turning to someone else if even a friend can make matters worse and could wind up costing you the family you have now. You are apparently attracted to this female friend in a bad way,steer clear of this. It's not fair to the woman who is CARRYING YOUR CHILD. You say she is jealous and insecure but the fact you are covering up the feelings you might be developing toward the other woman could make you a liar and a cheat in some sorts. Please refrain from seeing this other woman, spend time with your wife, she needs you now. Not to be harsh, you are the man of the house and you need to act like it. Overlook her moods and pray that when the baby is born things will get better and take care of the family you have made with the woman you married.
That which God hath joined together let not man put asunder. *Man...Honor they wife... Have faith and God will see you thru.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
male
reader, esepalo1 +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Ive been there i bet it was all good in the begining it always is sex like rabbits nice to each other age has alot to do with it you guys are young and you guys got two kids together and you guys love each other look at it this way the only reason shes jealous is i belive she thinks your gonna leave her and shes scared that she will be stuck as for the other girl cut it off now nothing good will come from it i bet she tells you what your wife dont and i know you get tired of the nagging but you guys have been threw to much in the last 5 yrs dont ruin it the grass is not greener on the other side dont try it me and my wife have been threw alot in 15 yrs and it just makes are marriage stronger shes not my wife shes my best friend.The only reason the other girl is what you want is because the issue you got with your wife but dude work threw it dont throw away all that you guys got together and have been threw together no one said life was easy.Be the oppisite of what society wants you to be another young divorced couple prove that you guys are stronger as a couple and make your marrige work and last for ever.DONT FORGET YOUR VOWS IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD THREW SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH TILL DEATH DO YOU GUYS PART.
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