A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He was engaged 3 times before. First time he was in his early-mid 20s. Second time he was was in his early 30s and last time in his mid-30s. I have never brought up marriage to him. He tells me quite often that he loves me forever. The thing that concerns me is. He doesn't talk about our future together. When he talks about friends that have gotten engaged he says, "we aren't ready for that." Which is true for me, but I can't help but think that he asked these other 3 to marry him within the first year of the relationship. One he only dated 6 months. I'm not ready to be married again. I enjoy living in my own space. But sometimes it would be nice to know that he would consider marrying me in the future or at least taking up residence together.We both rent currently and neither of us want to make a lateral move. Sometimes I feel like it's a relationship that's going nowhere. We have a great time together, rarely get upset with each other and enjoy all our time together. I just wish I knew if this was going to last. I love him deeply, but as I said, it sometimes feels like it's going nowhere. He visits me every other weekend and I visit him on the opposite weekend.... We live about 70 miles apart. We talk every night after he gets home from work. During his vacations (he works at a university), he is mostly at my place. I'm probably just rambling. He tells me I'm his world; his universe.... I'd just once like to hear him say that we'll be together forever. He did used to say that but hasn't in a long time. I miss that.
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female
reader, Farris  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 I think that he's just trying not to make the same mistakes again. His past engagements probably didn't work out because they were moving too fast.
If you're not ready to get married, then it's good that he doesn't want to marry you yet, isn't it? You shouldn't measure your relationship against others; especially his past ones. He's not with those women anymore, so obviously things he did in the past didn't work for them then, why do you want those things in your relationship now?
If this really worries you then you should talk to him a little more about it... But because you're not even ready to get married yet, I think he will be confused as to why it matters so much to you. You might want to press him if he's EVER going to want to marry you, to gain a little security about your future.
He sounds like he does really care about you, but he's just not ready to take the relationship further at the moment. Just live in the moment! Good Luck!
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 February 2007):
 He asked the others to marry him after one year into the relationship and look what happened... they both ended! He's just needing time and there's no rush is there? You said yourself you're not ready for marriage either so where's the problem? You are both pretty cosy with your own homes (albeit they're rented, they're still "yours" in a sense) and your own independence. Would you ever move to be with him? Moving for either of you is a very big step. It may even mean you or he would have to give up your job or at least be transferred.
Next time he says you're his world and his universe then add... "and we'll be together forever babe... won't we?"
Eve
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A
male
reader, philipos +, writes (27 February 2007):
 to me it sounds like your partner ha become more mature in the whole dateing thing and dosn't seem to want to rush things maybe his past relationships have given him some trust issues and u might need to talk to him about this.wen you have been in a long turm relationship fo quite a duration of time it is verrey easy to eather forget how important the small things are and just presume that the other half knows exactly what you think maybe next time you meet play some games with eachother where you can get to know the things you feel you have lost and remind eachother of how much you meen to eachother.i'm sure things will work out for the best so enjoy what you have now and not what you could be getting time is preshous.regards phil x
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