A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’m in a relationship now for 6 years but I feel so lonely I went out last night and kissed some bloke in front of everyone I was really drunk I get shown no affection from my boyfriend or shown any love at all we don’t have sex and he’s Been in the spare room for the last 2 years I told my partner and he wasn’t bothered at all he just said ok and that was that now I feel like he doesn’t care about me I thought he might of reacted a little bit but absolutely nothing any suggestions greatly appreciated
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (23 December 2019):
 You tried to make him jealous and you failed at getting the desired result. When you're at a point where you feel the need to 'test' someone, which is what you did, the relationship is unhealthy and you need to accept the harsh truth that this guy doesn't care, probably not at all. The two of you are roommates. You occupy space together but do not share that space. This, in and of itself does not seem indicative of both people wanting to be together. I think that he has peaced out mentally. It's been years. How can one feel alone when they're not actually alone? You may as well be alone if you feel alone constantly. He isn't doing you any favours and it doesn't seem like you are doing him any either. I think it's a convenient situation to (probably) split bills and live together to cut costs when he probably doesn't want a relationship anymore... It seems to be more convenient this way. Have you had a conversation wherein you just flat out asked him whether or not he wants to be in a relationship anymore? Or have you been too scared to ask because you don't want the answer to be negative and to contradict what it is that you want? The two of you need to talk and you need to figure out what would be best for you. Only you know what's best for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): Sounds like it’s time for you to move on...
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 December 2019):
 Sweetheart, if someone shows you in every way they can that they don't care, you need to believe them. It sounds like you two have drifted apart. The only thing you appear to share is your address. You are effectively room mates, nothing more.
I wonder, is there any possibility your partner is suffering from depression? Did something happen two years ago which pushed you apart (like a bereavement or a job loss or similar)?
Do you still care for this guy? Do you want to try to make your relationship work again? If so, you need to sit him down and ask some questions which could provoke some painful answers. First and foremost, you need to know if HE would like to work on the relationship. If not, if he is past that point, then you two need to separate quickly and cleanly so you can rebuild your lives instead of living in this "non-relationship". If you both decide you DO want to work and repair your relationship, you will probably need outside professional help. You need to make a decision to save wasting more years. This is not going to fix itself.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (22 December 2019):
 It isn't that he doesn't SEEM to care. The fact is he DOESN'T care. The big question really is Why do YOU care? And..what are you going to do about it? It sounds like the relationship ended 2 years ago when he stopped sleeping in the same room. Why are you still with him? Why stay with someone that shows you no love?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 December 2019):
 I regret there isn't a nicer why to say it, but , have you considered that if he does not seem to care , is because he actually coukdn't care less ?
In different circumstances, one could perhaps say, yeah he is acting all macho and prideful, as if he does not care, but he is actually only pretending . BUT: it's years that he does not show you love, does not give you affection, does not want to have sex with you… well, at this point what has he got to do to convince you he does not care ( and he stays out of convenience / finances / lazyness / lack of better offers / whatnot ) - send you a singing telegram ?
Now, if we want to reflect ìt about why you are staying with a man that does not care , that would be a more interesting question...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): Ask him why it doesn't seem to bother him. Of course admit you're wrongs. After he tells you why it didn't bother him tell him why you did it...because you are craving a connection with him.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 December 2019):
 You sound a bit like this poster: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-annoyed-my-boyfriend-will-be-spending-my.html
Dump the guy and find your own place or him find his own. Stop drinking to the point where you make a fool of yourself. Be single for 6 months or so after you’re no longer living together. Find a nice guy who is interested in you.
I’m sorry your boyfriend didn’t care, OP, but it was silly of you to try to make him jealous. You’re just not compatible any more.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 December 2019):
 Well that didn't work.
This might help you understand why.
Generally, in most cases, men need sex to emotionally connect. Now for some reason your boyfriend has separated from you sexually. Either before that or as a result of that sexual separation his emotional connection has broken. He is not emotionally connected.
In frustration and loneliness you deliberately acted out with the intention of making him jealous. But he isn't jealous, because he doesn't have a connection to you. No sexual connection, no emotional connection, just a financial connection of convenience as roommates sharing the rent.
You are in a relationship. He is not. You have unreciprocated affection for him. Suggestions: counseling to find out why the connection was lost. It may be too late. he may be able to tell you without the help of a mediator. The next step is way harder. Reconcile the difference and rebuild the relationship. You will need help to pull that off.
Honestly at 2 years sexless both of you should be considering dissolving the relationship. But there is a chance out there that he thinks this is normal. His family of origin may be the same way. It does happen.
Really we can't move forward until we know why you are seperate.
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