A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am a woman in my late 40s nice looking, good figure, no kids, I have just started online dating and I get thousands of likes and tons of messages but never any dates! its so frustrating, the men online just seem to want sex hook ups and they don't seem interested in long term relationships I am really starting to give up. romance seems to be dead! i have tried lots of various sites same thing! dating has gone so downhill. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2019): Oh Thankyou to the last poster who gave that information about being in her early 40s and also her friend when meeting someone . Do you also feel this would be the same for a woman 50 plus considering the physical changes women go through between 40-50 can be immense due to menopause
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2019): I’m the one who posted earlier. I met my fiancé online and I’m 43. The other potential dates were also looking for a serious relationship including my ex boyfriend. I also need to add that I’m good looking, educated, have a great job and put together, still receive compliments on the street at this age. My friend who got married is 47 and met her husband 7 years ago online.
I believe it all depends on the process and whom you decide to go out with. You can easily eliminate some just through texting.
I’m very good at reading people and easily can read between the lines.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2019): There are quite a few women on here who let their partners online on dating sites . Just wondering if these women were in their 40/50s when meeting their partners ? There’s seems to be quite a difference in how men treat women online according to the woman’s age , with older women being seen as mainly just for sex ( lots of younger guys having the whole older cougar fantasy but not wanting anything serious perhaps and men older men not wanting someone their own age but younger ) and younger women being the ones the men want serious relationships with . This could be a misconception but many women and perhaps some of these women met their life partners when they were 40/50 plus?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2019): I met my ex boyfriend online. Nice guy and he wanted marriage but I wasn’t ready at the time and ended it peacefully. I met my fiancé online and we have been in a relationship for over a year now.
The guys that I met online all wanted a relationship. I didn’t meet many, just few and all professionals. Chemistry wasn’t there so I didn’t go on more dates.
My best friend got married with his boyfriend who met online. So I think you need to be clear and stick to your standards and be sure you will meet the one!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 December 2019):
 I met my husband through an online dating site. Before that, I also had a long term relationship with a man I met on the same online dating site. So no, not all men online are looking for sex. I was very strict about what I wanted in my profile. I got asked on several serious dates, I think I went on a new date almost every weekend. I think meeting in person says so much more than letters online, so thats why I always just wanted to meet for coffee instead of writing for weeks. But thats just my preference. Point is, there were no shortage of serious men. I wrote that I am a Christian woman, looking for a serious relationship (marriage) and in the future want children. So many men, in a wide range of ages (from 25-45) contacted me for a serious relationship.
My advice to you is to be more spesific about what you are looking for, dont be aftaid to write it in your profile. Use serious photos of yourself, no cleavage etc. I mean, sure show off your good figure, but no pics with bedroom eyes. If you want serious men to contact you, you must look respectable too. And if men contact you for sex, just dont answer. Answer only the serious ones. Of course I was also contacted by men who wanted sex, but its not difficult to just block those men/delete their messages. Focus on finding the serious ones, and dont be afraid to be the first one to reach out. Word of advice: dont bother with the men who only have profile pictures with sunglasses on, or pics of themselves naked/without shirt on.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 December 2019):
 Well, it can be the sites you have chosen to try (some cater more to hook-up culture than actual relationship) and it can be your profile as well.
Also if it is a FREE dating site you get ALL sorts of people responding to you. The ones who are married but hope for a dalliance, the guy who just want to shag someone, the guy who wants to move on from his VERY recent ex and hopes some women will magically fix that... with sex.... etc.
So it CAN be a smart idea to try a dating service that you have to pay for. They have less "not serious" people on there wasting your time. Because they ALL have to pay to be there. Though, it is no guarantee that you won't get replies from men who doesn't HAVE good intentions too.
If ALL you have been getting are men wanting to hook up, have a friend go over your profile and redo it. If your pictures on the profile is on the "sexier" side, change them out to more NATURAL pictures.
I do think the idea of dating HAS gone downhill a LOT with the introduction of tech, but that isn't just because if tech, it's because society too is changing, manners don't matter, consideration don't matter, etc.
So it's ALSO an option for you to try something else.
Like meetup groups. Or activity groups for things you enjoy, a theater group, music, painting etc etc. Where you can meet people IN PERSON and sorta bond over things you BOTH already have in common (like passion for a hobby).
I believe some dating sites do "group dates" where they have a number of men and same number of women in a certain age range do activities together or just throw a mixer, which again means YOU will have to engage in social interactions IN person and maybe meet someone you might want to meet again one-on-one.
If something doesn't work for you, tweek it and try again OR try something new.
I would also suggest you wait until the holiday season is over, because there are a lot of people who are "desperate" not to be alone for the holidays and thus just want SOMEONE/ANYONE there and that is rarely a good reason to get to know someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): I have found a decent website now for long term relationship and the men are much nicer
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): Why don't you try the old fashioned methods of meeting people i.e. going to ballroom dances, joining various interest groups, meeting people in the cafes, through friends..etc. The internet is full of cheats and lyers and weirdos. Surely you remember how we used to date before the age of the internet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): I'm sure you will get lots of replies from other women, but I'll give it a shot:
If I were you, I'd change my profile. Be up front about what you're looking for. Maybe try to cut down on the number of horny replies by saying something like "only guys who tell me about their relationship with their parents will be replied to."
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 December 2019):
 What does your profile say about you? What sites are you on?
How about putting “Looking for a long-term relationship, but want to take things slowly” on your profile? Guys interested in hook ups tend to avoid women who make it clear that sex isn’t on the cards for a while.
Romance isn’t dead just because you haven’t come across guys interested in a relationship with you.
What do you do in your spare time? Find a hobby or take interesting classes for single people. Get out there in addition to dating sites.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2019): If you present yourself online in the same way you have presented yourself here ie you mention first your age then how you look then how you have a good figure , you are bound to attract men who care primarily about those type of superficial things
How about trying a different approach ie I’m a mature woman well educated kind , thoughtful with an interest in humanitarian issues such as etc
In life we attract what we put out
There is a big focus in many men on the physical aspect of women and they will be drawn to women who are focussed on those aspects of themselves
If you want waters that ‘run a little deeper’ as they say , then be ‘waters that run a little deeper ‘
Like attracts like
Not allowing men to objectify you egins by not objectifying yourself !
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